I saw 2 images...

I saw 2 images this morning in my mind.

In the 1st imagery, there was a big wooden cross. It was dark but rays of bright light shone through thick clouds. I was wailing as I came close to the big cross. I couldn't see anything else but the cross because it was huge. As I came to the foot of the big wooden cross, I started hitting it with my palm. And every time I hit it, I saw my sins flowed from my body and went into the wooden cross. It was bizarre.


So I kept on hitting the cross with my palm. It became a constant rhythm. And more and more sins flowed out. Bang! Bang! Bang!Bang! My sin, my shame, my guilt, my disappointments, my brokenness, my weaknesses, my failures, my filthiness....they left me with each hit.


I did not feel the pain in my palm. I felt more and more powerful in my body and the rhythm of hitting became faster.


I saw that I was telling Jesus, 'I am giving all my sins and shame unto the cross... ''


Then suddenly the imagery changed.


Suddenly I was holding a hammer in my right hand, and a big rusty nail in my left hand.


In the 2nd imagery I was still at the same place, still the same big wooden cross, but this time, there was someone on the wooden cross, it was Jesus Christ the Lord, God's one and only Son.


And this time, I was no longer hitting the empty cross with my palm. This time I was holding a big hammer and nail in my hands.


'NO!!!!!!!! Don't do that!' I tried to stop 'the Me' in the 2nd imagery, but 'the Me' did not hear me.
Oh no! I know what is going to happen next! But I can't stop the evil Me from doing that!


In that imagery ,I started hammering the nail into Jesus' hand. Dang! Dang! Dang! ....It was the loud noise of one metal hitting another. I lifted up the hammer, and then again, dang! ...I forcefully pushed the nail another inch deeper into Jesus' palm.


Dang!...another inch deeper...Dang! ....another inch deeper....


The big rusty nail was pushed in completely, nailing Jesus firmly onto the big wooden cross.


End of the 2nd imagery..........


I won't forget this. I never will.


The noises of hammering, the yelling of the crowd, the splashing of His blood, and the sound of the nail hitting the wood.


The smell of blood , mixed with the smell of rust from the nail, and the smell of wood and dirt.


I will never forget about this. It was too real. I was right there and then.


I was the one nailing the Son of God unto the wooden cross. I am not innocent of this crime!


All of the sudden I realised what God was telling me thru the 2 images. They have to overlap , and it forms the Gospel.


The 1st image is the result of the 2nd image. The hitting of sins onto the cross brings me forgiveness, but it doesnt come without a cost. The reality is, we all are responsible for His death of the cross. We are the reason why He died. None of us can escape and say 'I don't know who Jesus Christ is , and I have nothing to do with Him.'


We all are guilty of His death and like 'the Me' in the 2nd imagery, we all held our hammers and nails and we all corporately nailed the Son of God onto the cross.


That's what Gospel is about, that for God so loved the world, that He sent His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. It is nothing religious nor complicated.


It simply means, Jesus willingly died on the cross for us, and as He was nailed on the cross, our sins and shame were nailed with Him onto the cross as well. And His death brings us forgiveness, and we are again reunited with God the Father our Creator, otherwise we will perish eternally because of the inherent sin that is in us.


I have known the Gospel for a long time, and I have tasted the goodness of God , I have been living in His presence and grace every day........but this time, the images shocked me to the core. I knew Christ died for me, I have heard that some people have seen similar vision. But until I see it myself, the Gospel has never been so real to me.


I will never forget the smell of His blood, and the sound of hammering .


Oh Lord, thank You for dying for me on the cross. Thank you dying for all the readers that are reading this post. You did this because You love all of us.

my decision

I love my job, I love to do what I am doing and love to envisage what I will possibly do in future in my medical career. But have you sometimes come to a place where you feel there is still far too wide a gap from your point A now to your point B in future. I am in this stage. There is an outcry in my heart, I wanna move forward and take ground forcefully, but something is being obstructive here. And I can't advance because of certain circumstances.


The self pity voice cries in my heart, and the distance from my point A now to the future point B seems to be amplified by this.


And I love my job yet I dread going to work. I can hardly recollect any days in my career that I dreaded going to work.


Then God spoke to me again in the midst of chaos.


'Worship is not an option but it is a deliberate decision you have to make.'


Hmm... sometimes we forget that worship is a deliberate decision. We get carried away by the things in the world, our emotions, our ups and downs etc. We let our circumstances determine our reactions.


A change in perspective will make a sharp upturn.


And so, I surrender my burden to You, and I know that You will come to my rescue.

sentiment

This was taken in January this year.


I put this up because I am missing my parents dearly. I was driving home from work on my birthday, and my memory went back to my childhood. I wondered what I looked like as a newborn in the arms of my parents.

Mom used to hold my small hands everywhere she brought me.

another year older

It's my birthday again! For those who have forgotten, it is ok:) I know you still love me.


Honestly speaking, I think 31st March is such a special date for a few reasons... Datelines are always set on 31st March; when something has to expire or due in March, it is always due on 31st March. Has anyone noticed it? Or because it is my birthday, therefore I pay extra attention to this day. Everytime I see this date on any advertisement/publication/bills/warning letters etc etc, I will smile and think out loud ,'don't you know it is my birthday?!' (esp when I receive warning letters hahaha)


Anyway, birthdays are great. Everyone's.


This year I think it will be a quiet birthday. Most of my close friends are not around me anymore. And I have been so busy working. Looks like Kevin has prepared something.


I just wanna say, all birthdays are great, because on this day, God brought you to the world.


Happy 31st March 2009!

the Black Cat

TaDa!!! Lemme introduce the new member of the house! Daaaaaaaaaaa BLLLLLAAAAACCCCKKKKK CAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!



And I have always wanted a black car!

My brandnew Mazda 3, metallic black with tinted windows, hatchback, sleek and handsome; 2.0L , 5 speed manual the gear changes smoothly and very powerful for this class of cars.

I know I am doing badly . Let my Black Cat make his grand entrance by himself!

On the other hand, I wonder where my Purple Monster is right now... is he in good hands? is he out there in the cold and dark?

for u

I will defend you , and us.


In this life I have never met anyone like you. Sometimes I forget. But when I remember to count my blessings, I know I have not made the wrong decision.


You are it.


And you know who you are.

my car is suicidal!

Purple Monster is fed up with life. He's had enough of his master.


He started to show signs of depression 2 years ago and I should have noticed it! My mistake, I was too busy with my own life and paid too lil attention to him. He started showing traits of ageing, and I attributed that to borderline personality disorder. U know, people with borderline personality disorder usually are attention seeker who threaten to attempt suicide or self harm.


Everytime when he flashed out 'check engine', I thought he was throwing tantrum or having his episodes of borderline personality disorder.


I should have noticed it.


Poor Purple Monster, who has gone through the ups and downs of life with me in the last 4 years. He has been with me when I was in my highest and my lowest in life. He has seen my laughter and tears. Many times when I cried and prayed in car, he would just be quiet and bring me to places I wanted to go. When I was on high and sing praise songs to God at my highest pitch, he would run even faster as though he shared my joy.


Purple Monster has served me well. Together, both of us has brought many people to church.
He's seen ppl come and go. Some stayed only for a short while, some stayed longer.


I remember 4 years ago I saw him on the internet, his previous master put him on sale. We met in a carpark, and the first time I saw him I fell in love with him. I was so proud that I finally owned my own car! And he was a smart looking car!


But he was not easily tamed. I had not driven a manual car for 8 years until I met Purple Monster. I remember I spent a few hours on the first day trying to get on top of him, and I must say I did well.


I confess that I am not a good master. Purple Monster has only been bathed 8 times, the first time was when my ex's parents visited Adelaide. The 2nd time was when my parents visited me. The 3rd and 4th time were at the prepaid Happy Wash station with Fuzzy, and that was very therapeutic for me. The 5th , 6th ,7th and 8th time he was bathed by the rain I guess.


I recall one incident where I could not find Purple Monster in the hospital carpark after a heavy rain. I went round and round the carpark and finally saw a sparkling dustless purple car. Guess what, I forgot what he looked like under the thick coat of dust.


Purple Monster started getting sick and weak. I brought him to the doctor every 6 months, and each time the doctor would shake his head and ask me how long more do I intend to keep him.


I knew he wasn't very well.


So he attempted suicide twice last week. Or maybe that wasn't even an attempt. Maybe he is really tired and over it. He stayed in the car hospital for 1 week, had a few organ transplants and made it.


I really felt like giving an 'NFR'( Not For Resuscitation) order to the doctor. I felt Purple Monster has had enough in his life.


I should just let him go...

the developing world- the reality

I am currently attending what they call an intensive medical mission course. It is really pretty intensive. Information-packed-lectures go on from 9am to 5pm , Monday to Friday for 3 weeks. Not to mention that a medical mission course at a bible college always starts with morning mini church serive.


So we are taught tropical infectious diseases, not just the disease itself, but the concept about working in the undeveloped or developing nations. It is very conceptual.


WHO statitics show that 1 child dies of preventable diseases or any cause in every 10 seconds. That means, from now, let us start counting....10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0.... ok, one child has just died unnecessarily. Lets start again. 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0... another child has just died now.


It is very scary. Why do these children ( I have not mentioned about men and women) die just like that everyday?


Because they are poor. We think we are poor when we can't afford the latest version of MacBook or iPhone; or can't afford to travel to Europe for a nice long holiday...or can't afford to buy a 300K home ; or can't afford to buy an European or Japanese car.


We are catogorised by the UN as the top 9%. Admit it or not, we are the affluent group of ppl in the world.


60% or ppl are in poverty. Either mild, moderate or extreme poverty.


Poverty means the whole household ( I mean, mom and dad and the 5-6 kids altogether as a household) have to work everyday to make an income of less than 1 dollar a day, either on the field or in garbage tips.


If they are lucky they stay in a small room under the same roof and eat a meal a day.


So what's the problem?


Poverty leads to overcrowding of living environment, no food, no healthcare and no education. Overcrowding leads to increased transmission of infectious diseases; no food means malnutrition and very low immunity; no healthcare means no healthcare of course, and no vaccination. So, when a child catches an infection (it is just as easy and as certain as getting a fine after crossing the red light) , the child dies, either very quickly or slightly slower.


So, no education? Hence no improvement of the current condition. The powerless, the poor and the needy stay more and more powerless, poor and needy forever, for many many more generations to come , if they are lucky to live.


And why should this affect us? If this doesn't move you, then for your sake, think that outbreak of diseases will sooner or later spread to the affluent countries. And it will affect all of us. (Anyway, this might fulfill what the Scripture say about the destruction of the earth and the heavens when Christ comes again )


But from the biblical perspective, it is to restore justice via the restoration of equality . God loves justice and being His disciples , don't we also love justice?


My anger is roused as I learn about the situations in the poorest of the poor nations. A lot of the embarrassing situations can be reversed if there's enough resources and appropriate distribution of these resources, and the cooperation of the local governments and other agencies.


The UN set goals to stop deaths from Malaria by 2015 with the budget of about 3 billion dollars. The experts (and myself, even though I am not an expert) believe it is possible.


The irony is, the iraq war that kills thousands burns 3 billion dollars in no time.


Sigh. I dunno. I have too much to say but does my speech matter at all? Could it have saved the 180 children that died in the last 30 mins while I wrote the post?

the same patient..

part 2...


So after a few days off, I went back to work last wee. And that patient (read my previous post) has been staying in ICU since then.


Guess what....He is now reading the Message Bible and 'What so amazing about Grace' by Philip Yancey. That's really amazing.


I told him that I'd been praying for him, and each time he would look at me as though it was something huge...and nod his head, said 'Thank you, really!'


And every now and then he would share with me about his thoughts...and that he has misunderstood God, and now he is enjoying God's grace.


And he is really keen to visit the church that I go to.


He said,' Hey guess what, I told my wife about what you told me and she nearly fell over! She couldn't believe it and who knows, she might come with me to your church, and my son too!'


I don't dare to claim any credit for myself. All I hope and pray for is his transformation and the salvation of his whole family and his friends!


Who knows what God has planned for him?


Who knows if God will use him to bring other drug addicts to Him?


We shall see what will happen. However, even if nothing would happen, I believe the seeds were planted. Everything will happen in due time.

and HE found him...in the hospital

God works in mysterious ways that we never know, because He is God, and He often catches us off guard.







I have a story to tell.... 01:30 am, Christmas Day 2008.





I was working on a night shift in ICU. That wasn't really my shift, but out of good will I volunteered to cover my Aussie colleague who just has a young baby , obviously she would deserve to spend her Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with her family.





So I was working. The clock ticked past 12 am , and hurray, Merry Christmas!





There was a 40 year old man who was brought in the ICU for his badly damanged kidneys for investigation. This man is noted to be a long term IV drug user.





Somehow I felt very burdened for him. I felt compelled to tell him about Christ.





It so happened (I believe it was a divine appointment) that he needed short term dialysis for his stuffed kidneys, and my job was to insert a dialysis catherter into his groin.





So I was all scrubbed up, and started preparing his groin for the procedure. Then I casually started a conversation with him revolving around Christmas.





Finally I asked, 'Do you know the real meaning of Christmas?'





'Yea, about the birth of Christ into the world. '





Wow..this man seems to know a lil bit, I thought. Then I went on sharing the Gospel with him, and told him that no matter what sins he had commited in the past, God will forgive him and give him a new start, as long as he believes.





At this point, he was stunned, speechless, and his eyes turned red and teary.





A brief moment of silence.





Then he said,' I can't believe God sent me a Christian doctor....' and he repeated that twice.





I didn't know what he meant by now, being filled with the Spirit (hmm...how come I felt as though I was the apostle in the NT? ), I started telling him,





'God is not done with you, that's why you are still alive today after all the drug abuse. And He has planned a great destiny with abundant blessings for you, what happened in the past is in the past, and your life in future is not determined by the past failures. Today is your day of breakthrough and He is calling you to turn to Him, and He will renew you ...etc etc'





(I can't remember exactly what I said, all the more it proves that it was the Spirit speaking through me)





Then this patient started tearing.





He told me he used to go to church, and he still believed in God. Just that he'd been back and forth addiction to the drugs, and he felt he was not good enough to be a Christian and God would not be pleased with him. He tried and tried many times but he failed, so he gave up all together.





Even though he thought God must have forgotten about him, he still secretly hoped that God would one day reach down to him and help him....





He continued to tear and said, 'HE has not forgotten about me, HE has found me even in the hospital, by sending you to tell me this. '





He kept saying this, 'HE has found me even in the hospital...'





At the end he decided to repent and turn back to God, and learn to rely on God's strength to get rid of his drug addiction.





He said it himself, 'Salvation is by grace. '





I grabbed his address, and told him I 'd write to him and pray for him so that he's not alone. He said, 'No, I am not alone, God has found me agaín. '





I prayed for him before I left, and gave him the chuch contact details.





Hmmm





I am really touched. Really really touched. Through this I have seen it with my own eyes the power of His grace, and experienced with my own heart the love of God. There is no sin so big that God will not forgive. There is no distance so far away that God cannot reach us. No matter how far we run from Him and try to hide, He will find us. He never forgets.



He has found him, even in the hospital.

The cross

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I love this photo that I took as I walked past a church.

I love the fact that the cross stands tall with the thick layers of dark cloud as the backdrop. And the sharp contrast between the bright and white cross and the dark cloud. The sky was clearing up and a streak of blue began to be visible.

Even darkness is not dark because the glory of the Lord has overcome all darkness. Just lift up your chin and eyes, look past the buildings, look past the crowd, look past everything else, and the cross will always stand tall.

I have learnt this through the years of walking with God. Lift up your eyes like a conqueror, and you will see the cross, and Christ is no longer on the cross because He has ascended to His throne.

Merry Christmas:) all the world.

What does God want from me?

He wants nothing but my love. Not love with any string attached, but a childlike love from a pure heart.


Unfortunately , I am a mere mortal.


It is so easy to be entangled with the ways of the world. I have not strayed away, I have not consciously sinned against Him, I have not abandoned His commandments. But have I forgotten about the cross? Maybe.


And that's a sin.


The greatest commandment, to love my God with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength.


What does God want from me?


It is in here, in my chest, and that's the place He put my heart.


I will love and worship You in my place of obscurity now.


And never let me forget, what You save me from.

oil painting

I have always wanted to try oil painting but for some unknown reasons I have never had the motivation to do it.


Until today. This is my first experimental oil painting on canvas.


My mindscape is filled with many different colours and images. I feel the artist in me is slowly waking up again.

nostalgia

I stayed up late...I get to do this sometimes, very rarely. It's my off-week, staying up and sleeping in is perfectly justified.

I am in a very nostalgic mood now.

I thought of all my friends who have crossed my path. I thank God for them...some were in my life for a short period of time, for a certain purpose that only God knows; some were for a lil longer, and of course, some are still lingering in my life now.

I thought of Skye tonight. He has been with me since 1995. We saw each other's ups and downs. He was always the angry big brother who was a bit too over protective, and held grudge against all boys who dared to come near me, because they were not good for me. I asked him all the time (I still ask him now), ' am I your best friend?' , just for fun.

I know the answer, we don't need to say anymore. ' Best friend' is a very loose term. None of us in this world have only one best friend for the whole life. People come and go, we have a best friend in kindie, a best friend in primary school, another best friend in high school, and best friend in college, in uni, in workplace, in church, ...in different phase of our lives, God gives us different friend/group of friends to journey with us.

This makes our lives colourful and sentimental. You were my best friend in primary school, but for some reasons, we lost touch with each other...we hardly hear from each other anymore, but you hold a special place in my heart...then you were my best friend, now u still are, in a special way...

I think of Yean Ching. We knew each other since 1988, and were like twin sisters since then until high school. We had our secret codes, and we used to spend hours on the phone everyday. She's in the States now. I dunno what she's doing but I still think of her sometimes. Yean Ching...I wanna tell you I am getting married...

I think of KaGee and Shu Kuen. We were so close in Form 4-5. We stayed over at each other's place, we had our own shared journal, we talked about dreams and our future...

I think of Fei Gei , we made our first backpacking trip together at 15. We kinda got distant from then.

I think of Ming. We were 16 and we shared about our ambitions to change the world, to make the world a better place. He accepted Christ a few years back too...we met again this year, it was a very heart warming experience to be able to talk about Christ. We still wanna change the world, but now in Christ =)

I think of my friends in Ringwood...Ah Gu, Woan Yi...I miss those days dearly. I am still having you guys now :)

I think of ah Voon. My heart broke when she went back home for good. We were so close, so close, so close to each other. We lived under the same roof, we went to the same church, we did everything together. She's amazing and I love her so much. I believe we aren't done with each other.

I think of Tan Tan...the silly girl who has touched my heart. I know her journey. I know her ups and downs; as well as she knows mine. I remember the long nights of holding hands and walking randomly on the street, passing the baton to her. I remember she once said ,' it's so powerful when we serve together....' One day she'll leave too...Oh how I love and miss her..

I think of my OCF committee in 2005-06. I think of everyone there. Arthur, Goh No, Paul, Qi, Ling,wei jian...of course voon and tan tan. I remember spending every Saturday morning praying together and sharing...I remember how supportive and teachable they were. I remember how they were the pillars of this ministry. What can a president do without her capable committee? I loved each of them.

I think of my Fuzzy...ngaw...She is so cute, so full of life, so funny...We got very crazy in the company of each other. The outings were never boring because of her. She's a true friend who will stand up for me and protect me from unnecessary/ potential threat. I miss you u know...Adelaide is different without u.

And many more...many many more names that I remember and cherish , many many more familiar faces that have appeared in my life and owned a corner in my heart. And, many many more who are with me now...

As I count my blessings, I thank God so much. All the scenes of my life flash like videa clips in my mind, and as private and aloof as I am , they still involve friends who have shared my journey.

I wonder what they will write on my tombstone, one day if I join my Father in Heaven. Will they remember me like how I remember them?

This is not a tombstone, just a chimney in a beautiful evening when the sky was purple. I took this photo across the fence...

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Merry Christmas

The photo was taken on King William Road.

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Merry Christmas =)

A slow walk after dinner with your loved one...a camera in hand, the spring breeze, the setting sun casting her last beams on a scratched glass door...

Life is simple and beautiful.

Risk taking

It has been a long time since I shared the Gospel with strangers. Friends, yes. They are alright because they know me and my story , so there's not much of risk involved in sharing the gospel with my unsaved friends.


But the last time I evangelised to a stranger was 4-5 months ago, while I was still working in ED. There were plenty of opportunities to minister to my patients.


For some reason, I have stopped doing so.


And it doesnt feel right...as though I have lost the saltiness of salt in the world. Pastor Matt gave a very inspiring sermon on Sunday. Risk taking. Share the gospel to everyone. What do you have to lose? Christ lost his life (willingly) for us, what do we lose if we in turn tell His story of sacrifice?


So I've decided to again take the risk. Can't be a jolly happy Christian and be content in my own salvation and blessings.


Yesterday after work , I brought a small bible to one of my ex-patients who was discharged from ICU. He nearly died of severe lung disease because of chronic smoking. But somehow miraculously he survived and stayed with us for more than 3 weeks on the breathing machine. He has made drastic recovery, now here he is, sitting in the chair on a normal ward.


I brought that lil bible who has been sitting in my bag for ages. I chatted with him briefly...and handed him the bible as a christmas gift. I told him that he survived this time for a greater purpose. God is not done with him...and Christ died for him etcetc.


I noticed a change in his expression as I gave him the bible. He said he would read it . I dunno what else I could say, just prayed in my heart that God would speak to him through His very own Word.


Then today as I was walking to the gym, a young woman caught my sight. She looked sad and weird; her eyes were filled with some form of fear and uncertainty. She was just standing there...waiting for something.


I walked past her. For some reason I kept thinking of her. I kept on walking...but my heart was very unsettled. Hmm....what do I have to lose, just take the risk.


So I turned back. Strangely she also began to walk to where I was (although I am pretty sure she wasn't after me) . I stopped her...and asked if she was ok. She was obviously shocked by the greeting of a stranger...I told her my heart felt strange when I walked past her and just felt like telling her that Jesus loves her.


Her expression changed. I couldnt tell what that expression was about...but at least I know what I spoke carried certain impact.


Anyway...it's not that difficult at all. All I need is just a willing heart and constant prayer. God will use every occasion and opportunity to speak to His ppl through us.

La Mer

La Mer means The Sea in French....

I have liked this song for a long time...the first time I heard it was in an arthouse film...

Then I think I heard it again in one of the best French and foreign language films called The Diving Bell and the Butterly...

An absolutely beautiful song...it is like it brings my feet off the ground, and I start floating in the sky...flying across the ocean...like God is showing me the beautiful creation...

La Mer...

backache

From now on I will be more empathetic towards my patients with backache...


Now I know what it feels. Sigh. The persistent muscle spasm is killing me. I can't seem to find a comfortable position, can't sit, can't stand, can't lie on my back, can't sneeze can't cough can't bend over, can't walk too long...can't exercise...


Kevin said he would bring me to see a GP and he promised he would not tell the GP that I am a doctor too...


I know what they will tell me...here's some pain killer, rest in bed for a few days, the pain should go away , if it doesnt recover in a few weeks, come back and do an xray and we will see how it goes...


I saw a couple of dozens of patients with backache in ED , this was what I would say to them...

More photos

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Back in those days (last year, not that long ago), this used to be one of my favourite places.

When I got a bit lonely, when I felt a lil melancholic, I would grab my camera bag and spend the whole afternoon here.

God often speaks gently to me through His beautiful creation. Look at the ducks, look at the birds, look at the flowers and treees...If I care to make them beautiful, how much more I will care for you? :)

The BIG 4th of Novermber, 2008

So I have something to tell the world.

Come and meet my fiance...Kevin.

Be happy for me won't you? :) For I have found my true love. God is really good.

It was a beautiful night and we went to a good old cafe for dinner. I remember that place. He held a farewell dinner there...just before he left for Melbourne for good. We dint think anything would happen at all from then.

Then we took a slow walk to the old chocolate place on Rundle Street. Hmmm....that was where we first confessed to each other...

So we were on Rundle street, as we turned into the small alleyway, he suddenly knelt down...brought out this big shiny monster....and asked me the big question...

How would I say no while he was doing this in the middle of the street? Stupid man! I looked left and right to make sure if anyone saw us....then a very very hasty nod...

'okie okie...quick...hurry up...a lot of ppl are watching..!!'

So he put the ring on my finger... got up from his knee...and we hugged for a long time....

Some bystanders who were getting into their car saw us obviously...they gave us a honk and raised their thumbs to cheer for us.... sweet.

hmmmm.......

:) I am a silly woman smilling like crazy. I know it must be God...but I dunno what courage He has given me to bring me to this stage. I would not have pictured this a few months ago.

My hermit crab life in the shell was comfy though it was also dark and cold.

A boy hermit crab came along, left his own shell, crawled to my shell home, knock knock knock....

knock knock knock.....until I opened the door...

He grabbed my hand, and dragged me out of that shell.

What would my life be if he chose to ignore his feeling for me in the first place? What would we be now if I dint open my mouth and tell him, ýes, I would be lying if I said I didn't like you...'

What if I continued to be an ice princess to him...What if he didn't come to Adelaide at all for that one year...

We could have missed each other just like that... this possibility scares me.

But I see the work of God everywhere from the beginning to now. Who is able to move a stubborn mountain like me other than God? God must be laughing out loud now....

'Who was this girl who said out loud about her gift of celibacy? Did I give her this''gift''?

Who asked ME to take this man away? '

No one knows what we need more than God does. He knows. And He cares deeply for each of us. Things will come when we seek His kingdom first. and when it comes, it comes beautifully , at the right time, to the right place. That's God. That's Him.