Monday, April 30, 2007

I had holy communion with my patient =)

This actually happened a while ago. There was one Sunday when I couldnt attend church service because I was in the hospital. I was called to see a patient who was very very sick. I went in, did my usual jobs, told the nurses what I wanted for this patient, blah blah blah and was prepared to leave the room.

Just was I was going to leave I heard the patient's daughter saying, 'Dad, later when the doctor and nurses have left, we will have holy communion.'

My heart leaped with joy and excitement as I overheard this. I smiled and delibrately slowed down my pace, until all the nurses have left the room. Then I asked the daughter (she is a chaplain) if I could join them for holy communion. Of course she was very surprised but gladly invited me.

I remember she said to the patient 'Dad, we are very privileged to have your doctor joining us for the communion.'
Then we laid hands on the patient and prayed and broke the bread and ate.

I did not actually feel it was their privilege to have a doctor joining them in communion. Deep down in my heart I felt so grateful for this opportunity and I thought it was my privilege to break bread with them. How many believers have the chance to have holy communion beside the hospital bed? How many of us will get to see the peace of God in terminally ill patients?

Infact, that was my greatest privilege because the next day that patient passed away. He was a very pleasant old man, all the staff said they had never seen anyone so at peace. He was 91 years old when he died. He had probably been through so many ceremonies of holy communion in his life, but at the end of his life on earth, he had his last holy communion with a stranger like me. I think it was my privilege to share the Lord's supper with him just before he died.

When I certified his death, I recalled what his daughter told him, 'Dad, you will be alright very soon, you will see the Lord and mom in heaven, and soon you will see me.'
I jumped in and jokingly said ,' and later you will also see me there.'

For some reason I look fwd to meeting him in heaven. In the world we were strangers, but in the Lord we shared His supper. Whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, as per the Scripture. Amen :)

Saturday, April 14, 2007

this stage of my life

Why have I disappeared from the web? Not just the web. In the past few weeks I have not had much time to join any church events or other social functions.

Why? Because I am so busy at work. I feel that God is really stretching me, training me and preparing me to be a missionary doctor. I basically work 7 days in a row, then have 1 day off, then 7 days again and so on. Everyday the hospital looks like a battle field , I have so many patients on my list that I literally have no break in between. Working 10-12 hours straight WITHOUT lunch or even a sip of water is NORMAL to me. No joking. I have lost 2 kilos so far in 2 weeks.

My workload is 2 times heavier than my peers . I dunno why. In our hospital, each medical team will have 1 intern. Some teams are not very busy, some teams are. My team is very well known to have many patients. No one knows why beside my boss. Usually each intern will have to take care of only 10-18 patients. I usually have to take care of 26-35. I DUNNO WHY. I will call it a good list if the number drops to 25.

And it is a whole new different thing to be a doctor than a medical student. Pressure comes from every possible source. Your bosses expect you to do the jobs NOW, the nurses push you to get things done NOW, the patients want it NOW, the patients' families or GPs want to speak to you NOW, the staff from other departments want the jobs done NOW so that they can leave at 4pm...they all demand something from you NOW NOW NOW NOW...and while you are already trying your best to satisfy everyone, your stupid pager keeps beeping and you spend half of your time answering calls from all these ppl.

That's why I say God has a special purpose for me. I feel that the time is near. He is preparing me to be a missionary.

The real challenge comes now. 10-13 hours fly just like that everyday without me realising it. I feel that every single second this world is sucking my energy away. When I drive home, my brains freeze. Everyday it is a constant battle for me to stay awake in my prayer and studying the Bible. Now I understand what it means in Mark 12:30 : "Love your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength."

It does need strength. And the challenge is, when you have no more strength left in you, you still strive to love Him. That is when you rely not on your own strength but His. Sometimes I feel so lonely, I feel so isolated. I have not had intimate fellowship with other believers for a while. Sometimes I feel I am forgotten. All I am left is God Himself. But I believe even this is also His special plan, so that I rely on Him alone, and I will turn out to be a tough person.

The good side of my story is, I know there is an inborn fighting spirit in me. I feel like a warrior and I will fight for my God. I pray everyday that I might glorify my God in my career. I could have been slack and leave my jobs undone so that I can go home early. But I choose not to. I choose to smile to and be at peace with everyone even when they are annoying. I choose to pray for my patients and encourage them even when I m busy. The result is, I enjoy my work, I love the nurses, my patients tell me I am different from other doctors, the nurses love me, I get along so well with my colleagues and they are amazed I can handle that amount of work yet be cheerful all the time.

Not my ability, but All the glory and praise be to my God. Amen.

my birthday : 31st March

I can't believe I have not posted anything for nearly a month. I will explain later why I have disappeared from the virtual world for a month :)

So as I repost, I wanna begin with my birthday. 31st March...I reckon all March babies are special, so special that their birthdays fall on March, and especially those born on 31st of March. I believe all the 31/3 babies share some unique features that only we understand. One thing I can be sure is, we are all very private ppl. And we are special hehe :P

So it was my birthday. Unlike all my birthdays in the past, this birthday was the most quiet one. For a few reasons, there was no big celebration, no big surprises. It was a Saturday and I was actually working overtime on my own birthday. I stayed in the hospital until 10pm that day. The very next day Sunday I worked the whole day as well...so, there was no big celebration.

But God has always been good to me. I had 5-6 cakes..

1) My flatmates' parents organised a small dinner party for me a few days before my actual birthday. That warmed my heart and made me cried a bit...

2)my colleagues brought me a cake at work, we hid in the office after the overtime, switched off our pagers, and stuffed ourselves with cakes...

3)my dearest frens intended to 'surprise' me by bringing a cake and singing a birthday song for me at my doorstep. That was my 3rd cake.

4)Esther made me and Jasmine 2 cakes and had M&M on it. It was very cute :) We had a small candle blowing ceremony in a corner of OCF.

5)And I received lotsa presents and messages from lotsa ppl...The most important present was from my MOMMY. MOMMY (and of course my whole family) sent a big parcel from Malaysia, with many gifts from each of them in the box. The most profound one was a necklace with a titanium cross , and a short msg from Mommy. She wrote ,'I specially ordered a titanium cross for you, so that you will wear it daily and that GOD will protect you all the time.'

Yahooooo it was from my unbelieving mom! She finally acknowleged God :)That's my best present.

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So I just turned 26. But this number still seems very unfamiliar to me. I m so used to telling everyone I am 25. Someone asked me last week how old I am. The '25' just slipped out of my mouth almost as quick as a reflex. Haha another year withered, I am approaching my late 20's from now on.

I thank God that He knew me, thought of me, chose me, and called me even before He formed me :)