OMG 3 more dayssss

and I am so not prepared in many ways. Things start getting very intense now as we are still running around getting things done.


And....I have not had my veil completed.... Shhhhhh...Yea I bought a single tiered veil , and I bought it inspite of it having only a tier because it is so beautiful. So I thought...Hmmm...I would fix it, just buy some tulle/lace and add it on, make it a two tier veil (the front tier is called the blusher veil where you have in front of your face as you walk down the aisle, I learnt all this just a few months ago) ...


So I thought I would fix it, just like how I attempted to make my own wedding gown in the beginning! Of course, after days of toiling I realised it wasn't easy at all to make a wedding gown, therefore paying big bucks for one that's professionally done is definitely worth the while.


Hehe.


And Kevin's mom and sis have just arrived this afternoon...Hmmmm they are so nice to me, and being with the in-laws is actually much easier than I thought...


She's so lovely and kind to volunteer herself to sew that veil for me! Awwwwww....I am very blessed.


And tomorrow when mom arrives in Adelaide, I am sure she won't mind putting on some buttons for my wedding gown :P


I am so excited.


Yes 3 more days.

Counting down 24-19=5

5 more days to go!


I have finally finished my 3 day EMST course! It is indeed a huge relief. I can now finally concentrate on my last minute wedding prep/damage control etc...however you call it; and to concentrate on being a bride-to-be.


It is finally hitting me really hard that I am gonna get married! Yea yea everyone says nothing will change, but the fact is, everything will!


And I am especially mindful of the fact that there's only 5 more days left...and then I will be someone's wife, someone's daughter-in-law, someone's sister-in-law...


Sweaty palms...

Counting down...9 more days (for God)

9 more days!


I can't believe how fast time has passed. 18 months have passed since we first met. It was at church , what a great place to meet the Mr Right! LOL just joking...


And then the connect group. And then several weeks of backwards and forwards. Then it was the lil apartment on Westminster Street; that was his birthday. Then it was the Chocolate Bean. Then again it was a several months of life amongst the many yeses and noes. Then the Great Ocean Road. The lighthouse. Melbourne. Back to the little townhouse in Chinatown, Adelaide.


He said he was drawn to me because of my smallness, my helplessness ; and the sadness that only he could pick up through my eyes and the photos that I took; and how carefully I hid it underneath my skin.


Maybe my close friends knew it, that's why 4 of them cried I told them about him. ( My dearest lil sister was one of them for sure).


And I seem to look very happy and relaxed since then, according to everyone.


I am not ashamed to admit that I am a happy person ever since Kevin came into my life. Don't get me wrong, I was never desperate for a boyfriend/husband since the beginning. I did have a few relationships in the past, but I was never a person who believed I would ever settle for a marriage. I had some sort of commitment phobia ( That's why I refuse to sign up a contract with any mobile phone company for this reason. I like prepaid. ) ....... I definitely did NOT believe that a boyfriend, a wedding and a husband is the solution to my loneliness.


I asked God to take him away so I would have no distraction in my life journey. I liked the plans that I drew up for myself. To be a specialist, to commit in long term overseas missions and go to the ends of the earth for God, and to be my mom and dad's girl forever.


But at the end, God asked me, 'Have I really called you to these? '


:)


Kevin came unexpectedly into my life. but he came at the right time. the perfect timing that only God can control. I tried pushing this back to God, 'Nah I will not take this. I will stick to my own plans for my life, God, after all I made all these plans for Your name's sake...'


But God said, 'Take it, for he is my blessing for you.' ..... so God put this back into my hands.


I was driving home yesterday after a long day of work. As I came to the traffic light near home, I was reminded of the differences in my life between now and then. I am glad that I am coming home to someone, to a home with lights on and dinner being prepared. ( Well we take turns to cook)


This is good.


God knows what I need. Not what I want.He cares for us, and He knows the deepest secrets and desires of our hearts, even when we think they are trivial. And God gives His blessings lavishly to whoever He wants to, more than what my hands can receive. Thank You Father. Thank You.

Counting down...24-13=11....

I have to confess that I have been on an emotional rollercoaster in the last few weeks. Busy with work, then fell sick , then went back to Malaysia for my brother's wedding, then came back here, fell sick again, then it was work again... and on top of these is the mounting stress of getting wedding stuff done ,as well as of the preparation for a very important course that I am going to attend next week. ( Oh yes, I am attending a very important course that lasts for 3 days....I regret so much for putting my name down for the course that runs just a week before my wedding....)


And underneath these many layers of physical and emotional stress, there is this layer of emotion called pre-wedding anxiety. I think deep down inside I don't want to change my lifestyle. The thought of 12 more days left to my singlehood freaks me out sometimes.


Last week I had a nervous breakdown where I broke down in tears in front of Kev. He held my arms and came really close , I only recall his very big eyes when I think of this. He said 'baby, wedding preparation is never fun, who said wedding prep is fun? It is the joy and the celebration of that day that makes ppl forget the pain. '


...


In the midst of this emotional chaos, God has shown His face to me. He told me , everything is going to be alright.


I never argue with God because He knows better.


So I have decided to just surrender everything to Him. I have many millions of things on my task list, but today when I came back from my night duty I was like forget about it. Don't worry about the hundreds of thousnds of menial jobs awaiting me mocking me.


I spent my whole afternoon talking to God, searching my soul, writing down my thoughts and just be siew wai. I am not gonna let the enemy steal my joy.


I am beginning to enjoy this last 12 days of my singlehood.

COUNTING DOWN....24-12=12 ( For my mom)

It is by convention that every modern day bride-to-be has a little story to tell as they count the days they have before THE DAY.


And since I am only gonna marry once in my lifetime, I thought this would be a cool thing to do. Maybe years down the road when I reread this series of count down entries I will have a silly grin on my face.


Phew...to be honest, I am pretty anxious now. The break outs on my face is the greatest evidence of my unexplained anxiety. My heart is constantly beating fast probably as a result of prewedding anxiety/excitement , and of course, caffeine and the adrenaline rush that I have at work.


These days I miss my mom even more.


God creates man and woman to be husband and wife, and when they are married they leave their respective parents and become one. This is a beautiful plan that God has for those who are called into a marriage.


I have a very complex mixture of feelings in me. I look forward to being married of course. But deep down inside the heavy feeling of not wanting to be separated from my mom and dad is getting to me. I miss my mommy.


Mom knows that I am highly stressed at this moment. She sent me a text message that goes like this, ' Try to relax, do one thing at a time. think of the beautiful days ahead. Imagine you putting on your wedding dress , walking into the church and all your guests standing up. And you will be the happiest woman on earth. All you have to do is to have sufficient rest.'


My mom is not a person who writes. She usually writes ' happy birthday, mama loves you and misses you very much,' on each of my birthday card. And when she sends an sms, she usually duplicates them so that my sister and myself will get the same version of texts.


This is one of the few times mom writes something at length to me.


I love you my dearest mommy. You are my hero. You are my role model. You are my best friend.