My flag

This was taken in Victoria, July...

for more photos...click www.siewwai.zenfolio.com

I had a very bad day at work today. I've been constantly made to feel stupid,useless and insignificant by various ppl, inlc my boss.

Well that's not the meat of this post.

So the conclusion is, I had a bad bad bad day.

For some reasons, in the past few months I've been feeling progressively discouraged to a point where I doubted if I was a good doctor. Will I even become a surgeon?

It's hard to believe when your vision is clouded. But the thing is, I have not strayed away from God at all....why do I still feel lousy about myself ?

Then God has begun to work in me in the last few weeks, and it has been an amazing process. Upto yesterday , I felt that my heart has almost recovered. But something was still missing....I lacked the Ommmmh....the flame that I used to have.

Until today.....

I got into the car after work...I blasted the music , and I sang praises to God. Then suddenly I was again reminded that what I went thru today was not something new.

'Siew Wai, have you not been there before?'....I could almost see His grin.

Suddenly I was reminded, yea...that's familiar, that's the same old trick that the devil uses all the time. I've had many of those storms previously. And in the past, with God's power, I've always overcome them like a conqueror.

But lately life has been smooth sailing (and sweet because I've met someone wonderful:)) and I've become a lil too comfortable. I forgot that my battle had not finished. I let down my guard and the enemy crept in.

Naw.... then all the more I sang louder, and praised and prayed. I m not gonna let the enemy stop me from praying.

Once again I felt that the fire in me has come alive. The slumbered giant is awakened and roarrrrrrrrs at the enemy just like what she used to do.

And I stretch my Faith muscle, I take ground, I raise the flag of victory :)

Do you have dreams?

So cute...

by siew wai, 6/9/08













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Everything begins with a thought , I call that 'a dream'.


Everyone has at least a dream or dreams in their lifetime. God gives us the ability to dream and even the dream itself. Everyone has dreams. Dreams that are fulfilled, or dreams that die and go with them to the grave.


What is your dream? Do you remember once you have had many many dreams when you were younger? Children don't stop to dream because they do not yet know the world. But when they grow up, they drop their dreams because the world tells them their dreams are silly and they are never good enough to have those dreams come true.


I had many dreams, and I still have many now. I am big on having dreams. Some dreams have already become realities, some are still in the forms of dream, but I have not stopped believing that those dreams will come true.


I don't believe life is just about growing up, going to school, finish the education, getting a job, finding a partner, getting married, having children, growing old, retiring, and dying.


Of course, these are the inevitable , and they are important. And each of these teach us about life, about ourselves, and most importantly , about God.


But those are not the 'thing' that we live for. How boring and dull life would be otherwise.


I am a strong advocate of living for dreams, or in other word, the purpose of God in my life.


God has given a lot of dreams and prophecies when I was younger. I hold on to them, when things get difficult and my vision clouded, I hold on to the promises of God. When the images in my dream fade, God comes in again to remind me that I am destined for greatness (SO IS EVERYONE, as long as you believe) .


Ezekiel has lately become my most studied passage. Ezekiel means 'strenghened by God'. God says there many many times, that 'I The LORD have spoken and I will do it.'


I will dream on, and walk in the light of God. Be strong and very courageous, do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go .