I saw 2 images...

I saw 2 images this morning in my mind.

In the 1st imagery, there was a big wooden cross. It was dark but rays of bright light shone through thick clouds. I was wailing as I came close to the big cross. I couldn't see anything else but the cross because it was huge. As I came to the foot of the big wooden cross, I started hitting it with my palm. And every time I hit it, I saw my sins flowed from my body and went into the wooden cross. It was bizarre.


So I kept on hitting the cross with my palm. It became a constant rhythm. And more and more sins flowed out. Bang! Bang! Bang!Bang! My sin, my shame, my guilt, my disappointments, my brokenness, my weaknesses, my failures, my filthiness....they left me with each hit.


I did not feel the pain in my palm. I felt more and more powerful in my body and the rhythm of hitting became faster.


I saw that I was telling Jesus, 'I am giving all my sins and shame unto the cross... ''


Then suddenly the imagery changed.


Suddenly I was holding a hammer in my right hand, and a big rusty nail in my left hand.


In the 2nd imagery I was still at the same place, still the same big wooden cross, but this time, there was someone on the wooden cross, it was Jesus Christ the Lord, God's one and only Son.


And this time, I was no longer hitting the empty cross with my palm. This time I was holding a big hammer and nail in my hands.


'NO!!!!!!!! Don't do that!' I tried to stop 'the Me' in the 2nd imagery, but 'the Me' did not hear me.
Oh no! I know what is going to happen next! But I can't stop the evil Me from doing that!


In that imagery ,I started hammering the nail into Jesus' hand. Dang! Dang! Dang! ....It was the loud noise of one metal hitting another. I lifted up the hammer, and then again, dang! ...I forcefully pushed the nail another inch deeper into Jesus' palm.


Dang!...another inch deeper...Dang! ....another inch deeper....


The big rusty nail was pushed in completely, nailing Jesus firmly onto the big wooden cross.


End of the 2nd imagery..........


I won't forget this. I never will.


The noises of hammering, the yelling of the crowd, the splashing of His blood, and the sound of the nail hitting the wood.


The smell of blood , mixed with the smell of rust from the nail, and the smell of wood and dirt.


I will never forget about this. It was too real. I was right there and then.


I was the one nailing the Son of God unto the wooden cross. I am not innocent of this crime!


All of the sudden I realised what God was telling me thru the 2 images. They have to overlap , and it forms the Gospel.


The 1st image is the result of the 2nd image. The hitting of sins onto the cross brings me forgiveness, but it doesnt come without a cost. The reality is, we all are responsible for His death of the cross. We are the reason why He died. None of us can escape and say 'I don't know who Jesus Christ is , and I have nothing to do with Him.'


We all are guilty of His death and like 'the Me' in the 2nd imagery, we all held our hammers and nails and we all corporately nailed the Son of God onto the cross.


That's what Gospel is about, that for God so loved the world, that He sent His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. It is nothing religious nor complicated.


It simply means, Jesus willingly died on the cross for us, and as He was nailed on the cross, our sins and shame were nailed with Him onto the cross as well. And His death brings us forgiveness, and we are again reunited with God the Father our Creator, otherwise we will perish eternally because of the inherent sin that is in us.


I have known the Gospel for a long time, and I have tasted the goodness of God , I have been living in His presence and grace every day........but this time, the images shocked me to the core. I knew Christ died for me, I have heard that some people have seen similar vision. But until I see it myself, the Gospel has never been so real to me.


I will never forget the smell of His blood, and the sound of hammering .


Oh Lord, thank You for dying for me on the cross. Thank you dying for all the readers that are reading this post. You did this because You love all of us.

my decision

I love my job, I love to do what I am doing and love to envisage what I will possibly do in future in my medical career. But have you sometimes come to a place where you feel there is still far too wide a gap from your point A now to your point B in future. I am in this stage. There is an outcry in my heart, I wanna move forward and take ground forcefully, but something is being obstructive here. And I can't advance because of certain circumstances.


The self pity voice cries in my heart, and the distance from my point A now to the future point B seems to be amplified by this.


And I love my job yet I dread going to work. I can hardly recollect any days in my career that I dreaded going to work.


Then God spoke to me again in the midst of chaos.


'Worship is not an option but it is a deliberate decision you have to make.'


Hmm... sometimes we forget that worship is a deliberate decision. We get carried away by the things in the world, our emotions, our ups and downs etc. We let our circumstances determine our reactions.


A change in perspective will make a sharp upturn.


And so, I surrender my burden to You, and I know that You will come to my rescue.

sentiment

This was taken in January this year.


I put this up because I am missing my parents dearly. I was driving home from work on my birthday, and my memory went back to my childhood. I wondered what I looked like as a newborn in the arms of my parents.

Mom used to hold my small hands everywhere she brought me.