I believe every Christian should know the Scriptures, and know it very well, until we are saturated in it .
I love the word 'saturated' used by John Piper...
how i visualise it is: if we are soaked in God's Word, we eat and drink God's Word, and we eat so much that our stomachs become ever increasing in size that we will need to eat more and more of it. it is so rich in nutrients that it begins to naurish all the tissues in our bodies, every neuron of our brains is saturated in it that it changes our motor and sensory functions, i.e. our actions and the way we perceive things are changed.
It is so rich that it begins to flow out of our mouths when we open our mouths, it flows out of our eyes when we see things, it makes us smell like it because the aroma flows out of every pore and hair follicle. And wherever we go, we leave that smell there.
Just like physical food, consistent+frequent+small meals is healthier than irregular+infrequent+big meals. Eat it correctly, it does not give us indigestion or malabsorption. Parasites in our tummy will obstruct the absorption of its nutrients and leave us undernaurished , regardless of how much we eat. So before we eat, clear the parasites in our heart, so that we receive optimal effect.
it is delicious and addictive, i put one piece in my mouth and my spirit wants more. i wanna eat it all.
The Word of God satisfies my stomach. after each meal, i can only let out a sigh of relief and pleasure, and give a contented burp, and say, ' Hmmm~~~, i am fully satisfied.' ....burppppp
Monday, July 31, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
syncope..= faint..during surgery
After being inspired and DISCIPLINED by the old doctor of my previous placement back in June, now I am determined to learn. 3 months from now I will be graduating, therefore I start to sense the urgency to learn new things while I am still a medical student. When I start working as an intern, I will not have that time.
Therefore, I was so hardworking today that I volunteered myself to assist a total knee replacement surgery.
The surgeon cut open the knee. under the skin,fat and muscles there was the knee cap. With saw, hammer , nails and stuff , he took away a few pieces of bones from the knee and exposed the joint...the description is very lengthy so i will skip it.
The best part was, during the process of drilling, hammering and sawing the bone, bits and pieces of muscle, cartilage and bone splashed all over the place. I forgot to wear the plastic covering on my face, so...a lil bit of blood actually hit my face...
Then the nurse put on the lab goggle on me which obviously did not fit me. It kept sliding down my nose. I could not touch my face because my hands were sterile and full of blood.
I started to feel very uncomfortable and nauseous. There were 2 surgeons, slowly I saw each of them had 2 faces,then 4 faces...they began to speak like a whale 'siiieeeewww waaaiiii waiii waii~~arererere youuuuu youuuu youuuuu alllllriiiigght~~'
Then the next thing happened...I fainted..although only for 1 sec. I had to leave the operation...Thank God I did not fall on the patient ;) I cant imagine hitting my face on the cut open knee and bone.
I couldnt believe this would happen! so embarrasing! and that was not my first time passing out while assisting an operation. When I assisted an operation of the vertebrae I had a similar episode. Interestingly, both were operations of the bone. No wonder I hate orthopedics. When the first one happened my family actually had a very very good laugh about it; and this afternoon as I told them about me fainting again they laughed even louder than the first time. Inspite of my absence at home,they have never lacked any joke at dinner time because I am the joker myself..hehe.
Hmm..looks like I am not gonna be a surgeon, which is a good thing :)
Therefore, I was so hardworking today that I volunteered myself to assist a total knee replacement surgery.
The surgeon cut open the knee. under the skin,fat and muscles there was the knee cap. With saw, hammer , nails and stuff , he took away a few pieces of bones from the knee and exposed the joint...the description is very lengthy so i will skip it.
The best part was, during the process of drilling, hammering and sawing the bone, bits and pieces of muscle, cartilage and bone splashed all over the place. I forgot to wear the plastic covering on my face, so...a lil bit of blood actually hit my face...
Then the nurse put on the lab goggle on me which obviously did not fit me. It kept sliding down my nose. I could not touch my face because my hands were sterile and full of blood.
I started to feel very uncomfortable and nauseous. There were 2 surgeons, slowly I saw each of them had 2 faces,then 4 faces...they began to speak like a whale 'siiieeeewww waaaiiii waiii waii~~arererere youuuuu youuuu youuuuu alllllriiiigght~~'
Then the next thing happened...I fainted..although only for 1 sec. I had to leave the operation...Thank God I did not fall on the patient ;) I cant imagine hitting my face on the cut open knee and bone.
I couldnt believe this would happen! so embarrasing! and that was not my first time passing out while assisting an operation. When I assisted an operation of the vertebrae I had a similar episode. Interestingly, both were operations of the bone. No wonder I hate orthopedics. When the first one happened my family actually had a very very good laugh about it; and this afternoon as I told them about me fainting again they laughed even louder than the first time. Inspite of my absence at home,they have never lacked any joke at dinner time because I am the joker myself..hehe.
Hmm..looks like I am not gonna be a surgeon, which is a good thing :)
Monday, July 24, 2006
Father's love letter
Saw a video clip. I have never come across any video clip like this. I couldn't upload the clip here because I don't know how to.
Go to this link. Turn on your speakers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmb2Vas5JHE&search=love%20letter%20from%20God
Go to this link. Turn on your speakers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmb2Vas5JHE&search=love%20letter%20from%20God
Thursday, July 20, 2006
A patient died
2 days ago, one of the patients on the ward was dying. He was 80 years old, in coma when I saw him. The doctors said he would die in 1-2 days. His daughter , 50 years old,was with him all the time. That morning I felt very compelled to pray for him , so when the doctors left his room after seeing him, I stayed back.
I told the daughter I was a Christian, wanted to pray for her dad. She was shocked but glad about my decision.
Then I asked, 'Does your dad believe in Jesus Christ?'
'Not that I know of, ' she said.
I felt a sense of chill running down my spine. Death was so close, my heart was very sad, again, one soul was going to the eternal fire. This soul would be eternally separated from God.
The saddest thing was when she told me, 'Dad is going to a better place, dad is going to paradise,the world is full of sufferings, it is good he is leaving. Hopefully he will see Jesus when he pass thru the passage...'
I was very very very sad to hear that. People do not know after death, there is eternal fire and eternal sufferings,and the suffering is n times more than it is in the world, if they don't believe in Christ. People thought everyone would go to heaven.
I hope I did not hurt her feeling, I wanted to present the truth without compromise. I knew it would'n't help if I told her straight in her face that 'your dad is going to hell u know?'...so I put it in a milder way. I really hope I did the right thing.
I said, ' Only those who believe in Jesus Christ will go to heaven, so I will pray for him to wake up and accept Christ.'
I laid my hand on the old man, praying that if God willing, plz give him a bit more time to accept Christ before he died. The sense of urgency and battle against satan was really intense. My sweat was dropping (literally)
~~~
I dint go to the hospital yesterday, but today when I passed by the room, I didn't see the dying patient anymore. There was a new patient in the room.
I wonder where he is now...his body was dead yesterday, but where is his soul now?
I told the daughter I was a Christian, wanted to pray for her dad. She was shocked but glad about my decision.
Then I asked, 'Does your dad believe in Jesus Christ?'
'Not that I know of, ' she said.
I felt a sense of chill running down my spine. Death was so close, my heart was very sad, again, one soul was going to the eternal fire. This soul would be eternally separated from God.
The saddest thing was when she told me, 'Dad is going to a better place, dad is going to paradise,the world is full of sufferings, it is good he is leaving. Hopefully he will see Jesus when he pass thru the passage...'
I was very very very sad to hear that. People do not know after death, there is eternal fire and eternal sufferings,and the suffering is n times more than it is in the world, if they don't believe in Christ. People thought everyone would go to heaven.
I hope I did not hurt her feeling, I wanted to present the truth without compromise. I knew it would'n't help if I told her straight in her face that 'your dad is going to hell u know?'...so I put it in a milder way. I really hope I did the right thing.
I said, ' Only those who believe in Jesus Christ will go to heaven, so I will pray for him to wake up and accept Christ.'
I laid my hand on the old man, praying that if God willing, plz give him a bit more time to accept Christ before he died. The sense of urgency and battle against satan was really intense. My sweat was dropping (literally)
~~~
I dint go to the hospital yesterday, but today when I passed by the room, I didn't see the dying patient anymore. There was a new patient in the room.
I wonder where he is now...his body was dead yesterday, but where is his soul now?
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
My conviction
I spoke to God ,
'thank You for designing me and giving me my body parts.
my eyes are to see Your glory,
my ears are to hear Your voice,
my lips are to sing praises to You,
my tongue is to speak of Your glory,
my nose is to smell the fragrance of Your Spirit,
my heart is to feel Your presence and love,
my body is to do Your will.
This is not out of my own righteousness, but it is out of the reverence that I have for You.
I made a vow with You, that I want to love You with all my heart , my soul, my mind and my strength till the end of my life. But I know I cant do this on my own, I m sure You will help me. '
'thank You for designing me and giving me my body parts.
my eyes are to see Your glory,
my ears are to hear Your voice,
my lips are to sing praises to You,
my tongue is to speak of Your glory,
my nose is to smell the fragrance of Your Spirit,
my heart is to feel Your presence and love,
my body is to do Your will.
This is not out of my own righteousness, but it is out of the reverence that I have for You.
I made a vow with You, that I want to love You with all my heart , my soul, my mind and my strength till the end of my life. But I know I cant do this on my own, I m sure You will help me. '
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Am I becoming a carnivore?
This is a story about the battle between a herbivore and carnivore.
(herbivore= an animal that eats grass and other plants; carnivore=an animal that eats meat)
There was one day in 1997 after seeing a cockroach killed by my mom and lying flat on the floor, I started to feel disgusted about meat eating (I know it doesn't relate to the death of the cockroach). Then a very strong conviction grew in my heart, OK, I AM GONNA STOP EATING MEAT AT ALL. The killing of animals for the indulgance of human is very cruel.
As you know, I am a person with strong determination. I really did what I said. Therefore for 6 months in 1997 I went on without any kind of meat in my diet. Only vege and bean stuff. My mom of course had big headache because it means she had to specifically prepare another kind of dinner for me (hehe, yeah I got all her attention). When I went for chicken rice, I literally only ordered the chicken RICE, without the chicken...
But the complications came later where I felt dizzy all the time and I fainted while I played sports. And my monthly period stopped for 8 months.Then I decided to start taking FISH.
My ex boyfriend was the culprit, one day he ordered a very expensive fish meal for me. Of course I had to eat the fish. After 6 months of pure vege diet, the fish tasted very funny and I almost threw up. To cut the long story short, I started eating fish and that has been the main source of nutrients in my diet. Mom was very happy and she cooked fish for me almost everyday.Steamed fish,fried fish, stirr fried fish,sweet n sour fish,ginger fish,fish soup, fish cakes, fish balls etc.
I have a very good theory that justifies my fish (or seafood) eating diet. You see, the fish is the only kind of animal that doesn't scream when it is slaughtered. It jumps up and down, so it is happy and dancing... =)
This fish+vege diet went on for almost 10 years. Amazingly I had never been tempted to eat KFC at all..I also successfully exerted my influence on my family, we always had 3-4 non meat dishes and 1-2 fish dish on the dinner table. NO meat. My brother told me, while I was away in Australia, he enjoyed the dinner very much because mom started to make more meat dishes hahaha..
So, what happened now was, just a few weeks ago, I 'accidentally' ate a piece of roast duck. And I could't believe, it was ........so.....YUMMY...breathtakingly yummy...I finished the whole serving of 1/4 roast duck by myself :P
But the consequence of resuming meat eating was stomachache and diarrhea for days.
Then a week later I had KFC. That was my FIRST piece of KFC after 10 years. I was so deprived of KFC in the past that I ate the whole thing except for the bone. The skin was the best part and it was really fingers-licking good. My friends said KFC should get me to be their commercial model.
But again, I had days of stomach ache and diarrhea after that...
Now there is a war in my bowels. The vege disgesting enzyme is losing their stronghold, the meat digesting enzyme is invading and taking their ground. ( This is not scientific at all, please don't take it too seriously)
My dad is so hilarious, in the letter he wrote : Don't eat so much meat, it is not healthy.And my sister calls me a CARNIVORE. haha I think it was funny because I have only had 3 meat meals.And I still can't stand the pork and beef...yet.
So, it has been an interesting journey of being a herbivore for 10 years.
I do not hold on to that conviction anymore after knowing the Old Testament in the Bible. It was mind blowing when I read for the first time how the ppl slaughtered lambs and goats etc . But it sort of prepared me to accept the fact that God created animals for us to eat and enjoy.
And right now I am again having stomachache and diarrhea because I just had my 2nd piece of KFC this afternoon hehe :) Maybe I should stop taking meat...vege is good, it has never given me any problem.
(herbivore= an animal that eats grass and other plants; carnivore=an animal that eats meat)
There was one day in 1997 after seeing a cockroach killed by my mom and lying flat on the floor, I started to feel disgusted about meat eating (I know it doesn't relate to the death of the cockroach). Then a very strong conviction grew in my heart, OK, I AM GONNA STOP EATING MEAT AT ALL. The killing of animals for the indulgance of human is very cruel.
As you know, I am a person with strong determination. I really did what I said. Therefore for 6 months in 1997 I went on without any kind of meat in my diet. Only vege and bean stuff. My mom of course had big headache because it means she had to specifically prepare another kind of dinner for me (hehe, yeah I got all her attention). When I went for chicken rice, I literally only ordered the chicken RICE, without the chicken...
But the complications came later where I felt dizzy all the time and I fainted while I played sports. And my monthly period stopped for 8 months.Then I decided to start taking FISH.
My ex boyfriend was the culprit, one day he ordered a very expensive fish meal for me. Of course I had to eat the fish. After 6 months of pure vege diet, the fish tasted very funny and I almost threw up. To cut the long story short, I started eating fish and that has been the main source of nutrients in my diet. Mom was very happy and she cooked fish for me almost everyday.Steamed fish,fried fish, stirr fried fish,sweet n sour fish,ginger fish,fish soup, fish cakes, fish balls etc.
I have a very good theory that justifies my fish (or seafood) eating diet. You see, the fish is the only kind of animal that doesn't scream when it is slaughtered. It jumps up and down, so it is happy and dancing... =)
This fish+vege diet went on for almost 10 years. Amazingly I had never been tempted to eat KFC at all..I also successfully exerted my influence on my family, we always had 3-4 non meat dishes and 1-2 fish dish on the dinner table. NO meat. My brother told me, while I was away in Australia, he enjoyed the dinner very much because mom started to make more meat dishes hahaha..
So, what happened now was, just a few weeks ago, I 'accidentally' ate a piece of roast duck. And I could't believe, it was ........so.....YUMMY...breathtakingly yummy...I finished the whole serving of 1/4 roast duck by myself :P
But the consequence of resuming meat eating was stomachache and diarrhea for days.
Then a week later I had KFC. That was my FIRST piece of KFC after 10 years. I was so deprived of KFC in the past that I ate the whole thing except for the bone. The skin was the best part and it was really fingers-licking good. My friends said KFC should get me to be their commercial model.
But again, I had days of stomach ache and diarrhea after that...
Now there is a war in my bowels. The vege disgesting enzyme is losing their stronghold, the meat digesting enzyme is invading and taking their ground. ( This is not scientific at all, please don't take it too seriously)
My dad is so hilarious, in the letter he wrote : Don't eat so much meat, it is not healthy.And my sister calls me a CARNIVORE. haha I think it was funny because I have only had 3 meat meals.And I still can't stand the pork and beef...yet.
So, it has been an interesting journey of being a herbivore for 10 years.
I do not hold on to that conviction anymore after knowing the Old Testament in the Bible. It was mind blowing when I read for the first time how the ppl slaughtered lambs and goats etc . But it sort of prepared me to accept the fact that God created animals for us to eat and enjoy.
And right now I am again having stomachache and diarrhea because I just had my 2nd piece of KFC this afternoon hehe :) Maybe I should stop taking meat...vege is good, it has never given me any problem.
Monday, July 17, 2006
the beginning of a week
Last Friday's praise and worship night was fantastic,i was really moved but that was not because we did well. God was good, His presence was in our midst from beginning till the end, i know He was with all the musicians and the crowd. it must be God, because even though i saw the rehearsal many times, my heart was still touched deeply during the actual worship session. The best thing was when I was narrating and also later giving the altar call, I saw most people crying because they were touched. Nothing is more humbling than seeing God moving and touching everyone's heart with His mighty yet gentle hand.
I always told God, 'Father, come n touch me. Just one touch of your finger tip on me will suffice. And I will be content.'
~~~~~
My Sunday is always about one meeting after another. Yesterday when I finally got home, i was so exhausted that i dozed off in the toilet. Can't believe it. I had 4.5 hrs of sleep daily, so glad that I slept as little as Napolean, but was that the reason why he was so short? Did I overwork or was it just because I didnt manage my time well?
Back to the hospital today, and it is in Elizebeth, 1 hr away from my place, 7:30 am to 5 pm daily...hmmm~~ this will be a very interesting semester.
And there are tons of tasks I need to accomplish...
I always told God, 'Father, come n touch me. Just one touch of your finger tip on me will suffice. And I will be content.'
~~~~~
My Sunday is always about one meeting after another. Yesterday when I finally got home, i was so exhausted that i dozed off in the toilet. Can't believe it. I had 4.5 hrs of sleep daily, so glad that I slept as little as Napolean, but was that the reason why he was so short? Did I overwork or was it just because I didnt manage my time well?
Back to the hospital today, and it is in Elizebeth, 1 hr away from my place, 7:30 am to 5 pm daily...hmmm~~ this will be a very interesting semester.
And there are tons of tasks I need to accomplish...
Friday, July 14, 2006
very good
phew..i think God has healed me. praise Him for His great mercy. i was terrified for a while until i couldnt sit still to write a message that i will be giving on friday. definitely it was an attack from the enemy who was jealous and angry. God's voice in my mind told me to seek first His kingdom. then i prayed and prayed, a few ppl also prayed for me. my faithless heart was filled with strength again.the next morning my eye was miraculously healed :)
~~~
we had a rehearsal for praise n worship night just now. i was so thankful and i know the Spirit of God was just flowing in our midst. it was a 4 hr rehearsal, all of them, be it musicians, vocalists, narrators, OHP, PA...were giving their best for God. when it was 11pm, everyone was so exhausted. i wondered if it would be cruel to ask for one more round of practice? but in the end the result was awesome, not because we were good, but with the little bit that each of them could give, God turned it into something beautiful and powerful. i was fully immersed in the songs and lyrics that praised God.
i m so excited abt tomorrow. we are gonna present the story about Jesus with songs and narration : why He came, how He came, His life stories , and the cross, the resurrection etc. we wanted to do live recording and produce a CD for OCF Adelaide so that every new comer will get one in the welcome pack, but due to some technical problems we cant do that anymore. that is actually better, because the focus is not on us, it is on Jesus alone.
~~~
ok, shall see what will happen.
~~~
we had a rehearsal for praise n worship night just now. i was so thankful and i know the Spirit of God was just flowing in our midst. it was a 4 hr rehearsal, all of them, be it musicians, vocalists, narrators, OHP, PA...were giving their best for God. when it was 11pm, everyone was so exhausted. i wondered if it would be cruel to ask for one more round of practice? but in the end the result was awesome, not because we were good, but with the little bit that each of them could give, God turned it into something beautiful and powerful. i was fully immersed in the songs and lyrics that praised God.
i m so excited abt tomorrow. we are gonna present the story about Jesus with songs and narration : why He came, how He came, His life stories , and the cross, the resurrection etc. we wanted to do live recording and produce a CD for OCF Adelaide so that every new comer will get one in the welcome pack, but due to some technical problems we cant do that anymore. that is actually better, because the focus is not on us, it is on Jesus alone.
~~~
ok, shall see what will happen.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
blurred vision
ahhhrrr~~i think i have had infection of the right eye. it was watery and sore in the beginning, no redness.then later it became blurred even after i took it off...i remember a while ago the Renu contact lenses solution was taken out of the market because it had the risk of causing fungal infection to the eyes and eventually total blindness. the victims had to have corneal transplantation....God, i m just so terrified. Help me..will i be blind (literally blind) and need a corneal transplant?my hands are just so sweaty now and heart palpitating... will be back to update about my vision :(((( i cant be blind! i need to do many things!
Monday, July 10, 2006
soccer and things that i like to do (part 1)
i bought a soccer ball , it is adidas 2006 match ball glider, not the original world cup match ball because that one is $160.
now that i have my own soccer ball in my room, every time when i m free i just practice kicking and dribbling. the only word i can use is : FUN. but it is definitely not because of the world cup. since high school i have been wanting to play soccer. i used to play with the guys in front of the hostel before i became busy in OCF.
what flattered me was recently the uni gym manager who is also the uni soccer coach asked me if i played soccer, because from the amount of time and speed i run on the treadmill he gathered i would be good at soccer (hehe), so the coach asked me to join the girl's soccer team. of course i said yessssssssssss...but i dun think i have time for the training. i dun even have time to cook a decent dinner daily.
my friend was so surprised when she found out i actually have my own hobbies and passion for other things, she said 'i thought u dont have ur own passion'
what she said made me glad because ppl see more of Christ and less of siew wai in me. good! and i feel very joyful even though i have given up my own interests. i wanna be faithful in my calling.and when God tells us to love Him with ALL our heart, mind, soul and strength, He really means it.
things that i wanna resume after i step down are:
1) more and more reading
2) drawing and painting ( i m actually good at this, i used to dream of being an artist)
3) photography (esp black and white)
4) long distance cycling (have to fix my racing bike...it is a red racing bike which i used to travel all over malaysia.i brought it all the way from malaysia)
5) soccer, table tennis, volleyball and SPORTS... i wanna participate and complete a triathlon before i die.. =)
now that i have my own soccer ball in my room, every time when i m free i just practice kicking and dribbling. the only word i can use is : FUN. but it is definitely not because of the world cup. since high school i have been wanting to play soccer. i used to play with the guys in front of the hostel before i became busy in OCF.
what flattered me was recently the uni gym manager who is also the uni soccer coach asked me if i played soccer, because from the amount of time and speed i run on the treadmill he gathered i would be good at soccer (hehe), so the coach asked me to join the girl's soccer team. of course i said yessssssssssss...but i dun think i have time for the training. i dun even have time to cook a decent dinner daily.
my friend was so surprised when she found out i actually have my own hobbies and passion for other things, she said 'i thought u dont have ur own passion'
what she said made me glad because ppl see more of Christ and less of siew wai in me. good! and i feel very joyful even though i have given up my own interests. i wanna be faithful in my calling.and when God tells us to love Him with ALL our heart, mind, soul and strength, He really means it.
things that i wanna resume after i step down are:
1) more and more reading
2) drawing and painting ( i m actually good at this, i used to dream of being an artist)
3) photography (esp black and white)
4) long distance cycling (have to fix my racing bike...it is a red racing bike which i used to travel all over malaysia.i brought it all the way from malaysia)
5) soccer, table tennis, volleyball and SPORTS... i wanna participate and complete a triathlon before i die.. =)
Saturday, July 08, 2006
turning point :)
yeah...the Lord has given me tremendous strength to finish this race :)
the Holy Spirit prompted me to call for a semi-urgent overnight prayer meeting with the committee. we just felt that we were all led and ministered by Him when we prayed,sang, cried and shared. we prayed from 12pm to the morning, until everyone started to say sentences that did not make sense.
i feel that i can stand up and go on with full confidence and courage. as i prayed i reflected back on how He has brought me and OCF thru the past one year, i started to understand what He meant when He told me 'The Lord has blessed the work in ur hands, He has watched over u when u pass thru the vast desert, u have lacked nothing.'
i can't see much fruit now, but God has made my generation a David who prepared all the foundations and materials for Solomon to build God's temple. We have done what we were called to do, and we have laid a foundation and this is gonna be passed down to the next generation.
~~~~
Plz pray for the Praise n worship night on this Friday, this is evangelistic and it is gonna be something huge. OCF has not done an evangelistic PnW night with a specific theme like this before.this is something new. we will integrate the narration of the life of Jesus+scriptures from the 4 Gospel books + songs, hoping that this will give the existing christians a fresh revelation of who God really is, and the unbelieving friends a brand new exposure of the man and God called Jesus.
i m so excited! and the few new things that are coming up before i step down:
- equipping and making new leaders
- the regrouping of the bible study groups
- girls ministry!
- chinese group ministry!
- individual's growth database
- the production of OCF AU welcome cd :)
i know all these will work and be passed down, because the Lord is faithful :)
the Holy Spirit prompted me to call for a semi-urgent overnight prayer meeting with the committee. we just felt that we were all led and ministered by Him when we prayed,sang, cried and shared. we prayed from 12pm to the morning, until everyone started to say sentences that did not make sense.
i feel that i can stand up and go on with full confidence and courage. as i prayed i reflected back on how He has brought me and OCF thru the past one year, i started to understand what He meant when He told me 'The Lord has blessed the work in ur hands, He has watched over u when u pass thru the vast desert, u have lacked nothing.'
i can't see much fruit now, but God has made my generation a David who prepared all the foundations and materials for Solomon to build God's temple. We have done what we were called to do, and we have laid a foundation and this is gonna be passed down to the next generation.
~~~~
Plz pray for the Praise n worship night on this Friday, this is evangelistic and it is gonna be something huge. OCF has not done an evangelistic PnW night with a specific theme like this before.this is something new. we will integrate the narration of the life of Jesus+scriptures from the 4 Gospel books + songs, hoping that this will give the existing christians a fresh revelation of who God really is, and the unbelieving friends a brand new exposure of the man and God called Jesus.
i m so excited! and the few new things that are coming up before i step down:
- equipping and making new leaders
- the regrouping of the bible study groups
- girls ministry!
- chinese group ministry!
- individual's growth database
- the production of OCF AU welcome cd :)
i know all these will work and be passed down, because the Lord is faithful :)
Friday, July 07, 2006
2 Cor 4: 8-9
I love this verse.
'We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed.'
since young i have been stubborn, i believed nothing is impossible as long as i was determined to do it, that was why i was able to climb most of the famous mountains while i was in malaysia; that was why i was able to cycle 1000km around malaysia on bicycle in 1 week and i did it twice; i did not believe it when ppl told me i could not do it. i loved to be challenged.
then i did not believe in God but i was able to do all these that seemed impossible. NOW i have GOD, whatelse is impossible? don't come and tell me i cant do this and that. i will not buy it.
i fear no confrontation from the devil because i have the Almighty One, i might be hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, or even struck down. but i will not be crushed, i will not be in despair, i will not be abandoned, i will not be destroyed.
may the Lord be glorified forever and ever, not because i have strength, but because i draw strength from Him.
'We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed.'
since young i have been stubborn, i believed nothing is impossible as long as i was determined to do it, that was why i was able to climb most of the famous mountains while i was in malaysia; that was why i was able to cycle 1000km around malaysia on bicycle in 1 week and i did it twice; i did not believe it when ppl told me i could not do it. i loved to be challenged.
then i did not believe in God but i was able to do all these that seemed impossible. NOW i have GOD, whatelse is impossible? don't come and tell me i cant do this and that. i will not buy it.
i fear no confrontation from the devil because i have the Almighty One, i might be hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, or even struck down. but i will not be crushed, i will not be in despair, i will not be abandoned, i will not be destroyed.
may the Lord be glorified forever and ever, not because i have strength, but because i draw strength from Him.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I just wonder
i just wonder if i have done enuf in the past 1 year for ocf. i have tried my best. i have poured out my life and my love for 1 year. i wonder what God is thinking.
but why do ppl compare? it seems very unfair when u compare ur leader with other leaders. when u do that, it hurts ur leader, because u have not seen how much they've poured out behind the scene. and they will start to wonder, 'why on earth do i do all this, because no one appreciate it, i could have spared my energy to invest in my own life'
then i asked God this stupid question again ( i asked that when i first took chair), ' why did You choose me. just to fill in the gap after richard and before the next leader?'
Benji reminded me, 'u are doing it for the glory of God'. i think i have lost that sight after a while. i guess that's y i feel discouraged. im in spiritual attack to the point that i really believe i m crappy,
ok.i dun wanna do it for anyone, i do it for God. this has been a long, lonely, difficult journey. but God has been faithful in keeping His promise. if ocf did not do well, it would not be God who let me down, it would be i who failed Him.
the point is not how well u can do, and how much u 'outdo' the previous leader. it is entirely about how faithful u r in fulfulling the purpose of God as u lead, and how much God has been glorified..
i guess i just have to pick myself up again at this point (actually to let God pick me up), and trust in God. there is no point crying anymore. i remember teaching the young leaders to be strong in emotion, because a leader in any christian ministry is a target for criticism. i m telling the devil, i might be down now but i will rise up again and be a warrior! wait and see !!!
as i flipped thru Deuteronomy, God said to me ' The Lord ur God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. These 40 years the Lord your God has been with you and you have not lacked anything.'
His aid always comes to me in time. Thanks, God. thanks, dear. thanks ben.
tomorrow i wil again smile victoriously at everyone and run from meeting to meeting; and u will see me standing confidently on friday in ocf.
but why do ppl compare? it seems very unfair when u compare ur leader with other leaders. when u do that, it hurts ur leader, because u have not seen how much they've poured out behind the scene. and they will start to wonder, 'why on earth do i do all this, because no one appreciate it, i could have spared my energy to invest in my own life'
then i asked God this stupid question again ( i asked that when i first took chair), ' why did You choose me. just to fill in the gap after richard and before the next leader?'
Benji reminded me, 'u are doing it for the glory of God'. i think i have lost that sight after a while. i guess that's y i feel discouraged. im in spiritual attack to the point that i really believe i m crappy,
ok.i dun wanna do it for anyone, i do it for God. this has been a long, lonely, difficult journey. but God has been faithful in keeping His promise. if ocf did not do well, it would not be God who let me down, it would be i who failed Him.
the point is not how well u can do, and how much u 'outdo' the previous leader. it is entirely about how faithful u r in fulfulling the purpose of God as u lead, and how much God has been glorified..
i guess i just have to pick myself up again at this point (actually to let God pick me up), and trust in God. there is no point crying anymore. i remember teaching the young leaders to be strong in emotion, because a leader in any christian ministry is a target for criticism. i m telling the devil, i might be down now but i will rise up again and be a warrior! wait and see !!!
as i flipped thru Deuteronomy, God said to me ' The Lord ur God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. These 40 years the Lord your God has been with you and you have not lacked anything.'
His aid always comes to me in time. Thanks, God. thanks, dear. thanks ben.
tomorrow i wil again smile victoriously at everyone and run from meeting to meeting; and u will see me standing confidently on friday in ocf.
chris
i have never had doubt about God's sovereignty and His promises. i know very well that we just have to perservere. i respect chris, and i admire his perseverence...many of my friends are also unemployed. it is too easy for me to just say 'hang in there, trust in God etc etc..' i wanted to provide practical aid but i dunno how to. i can just pray and pray and pray.
i think this has contributed to my frustration recently. on top of this, i really dunno where i will go and what my next ministry will be after my term as the chairperson of OCF.
psalm 119 says God is the lamp to my feet and the light to my path. rightly so, He only provides the light that is just bright enuf for our feet to move one step forward.
thank God that i have Him in my life. if i did not have this promise to hold on to, i would be very likely to attempt suicide again, just like the old siew wai.
chris, (as well as ben, alan, adrian, david...), plz dun give up.
Disclaimer: i m a lil down but my faith is still strong. don't worry about me. i believe as a servant of Christ we are constantly under attack. i will finish the race as a victor.
i think this has contributed to my frustration recently. on top of this, i really dunno where i will go and what my next ministry will be after my term as the chairperson of OCF.
psalm 119 says God is the lamp to my feet and the light to my path. rightly so, He only provides the light that is just bright enuf for our feet to move one step forward.
thank God that i have Him in my life. if i did not have this promise to hold on to, i would be very likely to attempt suicide again, just like the old siew wai.
chris, (as well as ben, alan, adrian, david...), plz dun give up.
Disclaimer: i m a lil down but my faith is still strong. don't worry about me. i believe as a servant of Christ we are constantly under attack. i will finish the race as a victor.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
nothing important.
hear this, devil, when i m strong disturb me not because i have the Lord. when i m down leave me alone, because i have the Lord. u are gonna be thrown to the eternal fire when my Lord comes to bring me back.
i might be down now but i will not be down for long, i will rise up and strike u with the sword. u will see how powerful it is.
i might be down now but i will not be down for long, i will rise up and strike u with the sword. u will see how powerful it is.
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