what a year

It has come to the end of my internship, finally. It will be my last day tomorrow.

The year has gone by very very quickly. I still remember very vividly the day when I started my internship, exactly 365 days ago.





This has been a tough year. The first time of many things.






I remember I started off with my night shifts, and I was probably more confused and disorientated than any of my demented patients. I remember the lil old lady who was very very frail, she didn't make it after a major surgery. I still remember in the middle of the night I was called to see her when she was in coma. I gave her too much fluid and indirectly contributed to her death the next morning. That was the first death in my career. Of course I was weeping and weeping the whole week. Never again I allow myself to repeat the mistake.






I remember my dearest surgical registrar who did the nights with me. We became good friends , every night he told me his stories as a missionary surgeon in India. I remember on my way of collecting my car I liked to put lil prayer notes or words of encouragement under his windscreen wiper. That was the first time I was inspired to wanna be a surgeon.






I remember how terrified I was when I had to go into a dying patient's room packed with 20 ppl, telling them their nana was going to die.






I remember spending my Chinese New Year , my 26th birthday, my Good Friday, my Easter at night alone in the office whilst on night shifts. I remember I broke up with Chris in the morning of 18/2 and came to work at night on the same day, hiding my own emotions and putting up a mask. I think my boss must have seen my swollen red eyes.






I remember hitting 140 hours a fortnight in my 2nd rotation while I went through a very tough time in my personal life. How could I have possibly handled both the stress of work and the stress of my life events altogether, if it was without God???? A patient shouted at me on the corridor demanding to have his needs sorted out immediately, while I had not even my LUNCH at 5 pm. That was the first time I yelled at my patient. That was also the first time I broke down in tears in front of my colleagues, just for 10 seconds.






But later on this very handsome patient turned out to like me and attempted to ask me out. Don't worry, of course it did not happen.






Oh yea, of course I remember good old Mr X. He too was very old and frail, but we became good friends. Every night I'd drop by his room and say a prayer for him. He would tell me ' Siew, you have made my day'.....I remember him very well, because he was asking for me the very moment before he died, according to the nurses.






We all learn through trials and errors. We all had a hard time in the beginning. It has finally come to the end of internship. I no longer tremble because nothing makes me too scared now.






It is always hard to say bye to something that you cherish so much in ur heart. I've enjoyed all my days at work, I might not be excellent but I have done my very best in every rotation, and esp this one.






I am not sure if any of these beautiful ppl would even know the existence of this post, but I just wanna say I love them all. This has indeed been the highlight of my internship, the team has been the greatest of all. Efficient, on the ball, compassionate, united, supportive of each other, forgiving, and most importantly, fun loving.






And now Mighty Mouse has become my nickname on the ward, thanks to my very cheeky consultant :)






Hmm...what a year of being at the bottom of the foodchain...a bit of nostalgia here, I have a lot to share , but really should be going to bed now...