go all out

I wanna go all out to do mission. I wanna work day and night in a nation or place where people are in both extreme material and spiritual poverty ,and sleep on the floor, and walk and work under hot sun with people. I wanna spread Gospel to the people, I wanna plant and build church for Jesus, I wanna train young people to be missionaries and pastors, I wanna speak God's Word that pierces hearts and divides souls.

I wanna just work and work and work for Christ. I think I am a workaholic. I feel very uncomfortable to just sit in a gathering and just talk rubbish.Yeah, it is about building relationship, but I hate wasting time. I don't wanna be comfortable in a rich environment. Just put me in front line , in war zone, in refugee camp, please, I will be very frustrated if I can't use the talents that He has given me for His kingdom.

Everyone needs Jesus, but our generation is too blessed and saturated with materials. We are very fat in our hearts, that's why God is NOT the priority of many Christians. Many people put career, studies, money, relationship, hobbies above God. I ask God, why do You put me here? Send me out! There are people out there who are so hungry in their souls that they will take in whatever the Bible says.

But I know, God has His plan and time. Maybe He has more to do to prepare me. But I know, I am very strongly convicted that, one day I will be sent out. Day and night I pray that He will use me.

Let me die the death of a martyr, if it is His will. I saw a picture of someone dying with both arms holding on tightly to a wooden cross, that picture struck me and is still vividly clear in my mind till today. And I said that day, Yes Lord, I will.