I went through a difficult period of adjustment after the convocation. It was worse esp after my parents and sister went back to KL, all of a sudden I felt as if I was left alone in this foreign land again.
Suddenly the whole 3 years I spent here and the relationships that I have built in Adelaide did not seem to matter to me anymore. I began to ask myself this question again, 'Why am I staying here? ... I don't belong here , neither do I fit in the community of Malaysia. Where am I going from here?'
Worse still, I was homeless for two weeks after my parents left because the previous tenant was still living at this current place of mine. I could not move in until he moved out of the place.
As if that wasn't enough to cause me pain, my most beloved and favourite racing bike was stolen while I wasn't around for 1 month.
And this 2 weeks of homelessness+homesickness was like some sort of waiting period before I started my new career. Deep down in my heart I was rather reluctant to move on to this phase of my life.
It was very depressing...
***
In retrospect, I guess my problem was that I've excluded God out of the picture. The feeling of depression and hopelessness had been very well known to my brain for 21 years, it felt as if there was no tomorrow. The moment it hit me again I knew it was because I was far far away from my God.
I had to come back to Him asap because the weight of my heart was unbearable.
NOW I AM BACK ON TRACK.
I know God has a plan for everything. The process of being homeless, homesick and waiting to start a new career was actually ordained by Him to draw me closer to Him. When I fail to prioritise Him in my life, He will make sure He gets my attention, and that works well for me all the time. My God knows me :)
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4 comments:
i can agree to your sentiments there, sw. I think one has to be strong to go thru that phase of life after the degree is achieved because for 6 years you had an aim, to get that degree and finish. But now that aim is not there, so i reckon you should find a new aim, i reckon GOd has plans for you... You are on the right way sw.. Proud of you..
Nightsky
thanks, nightsky :)yea now i have an aim...aim to listen to every patient under my care and do the best for them...i start to love being a doctor:)
hugs
thats a very noble idea, SW. Hmm, i think you would be a good doctor.. just be on your feet and dont fear blood and gore lol. haha, something i cant face lol. Hmm, never know i might be your patient some day... lol
Nightsky
u'd better be healthy and hopefully won't be my patient...headache? take panadol....fever? i will give panadol as well..food poisoning? well just rest for a few days and drink lotsa water...hehe..so, you'd better stay healthy =)
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