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I am so tired! My mind has stopped functioning not just while I drove home, but it stopped way back when I discharged my last patient, handed over everything to the night crew, grabbed my bag and paced myself out of the hospital.


Driving home at 12am is not too bad at all, at least it is way better than driving home in the morning, after a night shift. I dozed off many times while I drove home after long night shifts, esp when the traffic was very slow in the mornings. As anyone can imagine, it is the busiest hour when everyone rushes toward the city for work. I, just like everyone else , rush toward the city, not for work, but off work for my bed. The fact that I have never hit the bum of the cars in front or the lamp posts or anything else is in itself a miracle. I praise God everytime when I see the sight of my house. Seriously, I am not joking!...One of my colleagues told me he banged the car in front because he was so drowsy after a night shift , ended up taking cab to work for a month. Another friend told me his car went off the road because he fell asleep whilst driving, that was after his night shift.


I am always in dilemma after each night shift. Should I load myself with coffee before driving or not? If I do, then I won't be able to sleep when I get home. If I don't, then I might not reach home alive...hehe...


So last week as usual I was driving home after a big mug of coffee (that was 2 table spoonful of instant coffee powder). The energy surge after caffeine only lasted for abt 15 minutes. Awww...I knew I gotta stop I gotta stop before anything happened, or I would have to pay thousands of dollars for any damage of other cars. So I pulled over , found an open car park, picked the most secluded spot and fell in a stupor almost instantaneously.


I guess I must have been in there for nearly 2 hours. The weather out there changed from sunny to light drizzling, then heavy rain pour, then it became windy, then sunny, then cloudy, then rainy again, then back to sunny etc...and guess what, throughout the 2 hrs I was still in this constant stupor.


I reckon doctors should have pay rise...what I am making now is less than my other friends in other fields, who spent much fewer years in the uni, paid much less uni fees, work much shorter hours and always have public hols and weekends off, who don't have to be exposed to medical hazzards such as infections and needle stick injuries etcetc... Who said doctor is a prestigous job? The reality is, I have to stick my finger into ppls anus to examine their rectums, sometimes to dig out their poo too if they are severely constipated...Hello, talk about prestige...and we don't sit in the office, it is a forever bye to long nails, tight skirts and high heels, unless I want my legs broken.


But all in all, Im absolutely in love with what I am doing :) I am exhausted physically but in here (my heart), I am rich. I know this is for me. To anyone who is interested to study medicine, think twice, don't enter the field for a wrong reason.