Who am I? -2

Have you ever run away from God? Or tried to hide from Him?

I have , many times in my life. Most of the times it was not delibrate, and I did not even try to run away, but I just let it happen, and before I know it I have already let the presence of God slip out of the crack of my busy daily life. The enemy will always deceive us that it is ok to be slightly independent from God, even if it is only in small little things.

Last week I was in the change room at the hospital in the middle of the night as I was about to start my night duty. Suddenly I had a feeling in my heart telling me I have been harbouring a kind of pride that has distanced me from God. I began to realise that's why I have not felt God's peace in me for quite a while. The enemy has made me believe that I was alright in my walk with God as long as I prayed and read the bible everyday. I did not realise in the midst of my busyness I was not delibrate in my pursuit of His face and His glory and His law.

I immediately dropped the things in my hands and started repenting to Him. At that moment I again had the most intimate encounter with my God.

The next day it was the prayer meeting in church. For some reason I knew I had to attend that prayer meeting no matter what , I just felt convicted that God had something great for me there.Truely so, as I entered the meeting I just felt the very very very heavy presence of God , my whole body shivered, my heart leaped with joy and my spirit sang out loud in awe and worship of God

As Pastor Danny qouted the scripture 2 Chronicles 7:14 :' If MY people who are called by MY name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.'

My tears rolled down my cheeks like a tap when I heard this, and throughout the whole meeting I was weaping in tears of sorrow and humility, at the same time love, joy, peace and renewal.

I knew God was speaking right in my face, both in the dark change room at the hospital and in church today. That was a very small change room, hidden in the deepest part of the hospital. The corridor that leads to the change room was not lit with lights, and no telecommunication reception could reach that room. The door was a thick old school wooden door that could only be opened with a set of security code.


And in the darkness of the night and the loneliness of my spirit, when I thought I was far from the presence of my God, and well hidden from the rest of the world, God came and found me even in that change room. And when I thought I was alright , HE confronted me with His Spirit out of His deep love for me, because He doesn't want me to walk away from Him.


Who am I that He loves me so much? That He would come pursuing me with His love rather than condemnation and punishment for my sin of pride.


Psalm 139:7-12

' Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?
If I go up to the heavens You are there, if I make my bed in the depths you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.'


With such great love, will I not lift my hands up and surrender to You? When I come running to You, I will only find myself falling into Your strong arms that are open to catch me.