Friday, March 26, 2010

A story about God's grace in my life - Exams.

The exams have finally finished and I have a story to tell about this. If you have time, please read on for this is not about me, but about God.


I decided to take this exam before our wedding, but I could not start preparing for it because of wedding preparation and honeymoon. The recommended time to prepare for this exam is usually 6 months for every person. I started preparing for this only 4 months ago.


When it came close to the exam I knew I was way too underprepared. I did not feel good about this exam at all, but God just kept telling me to do my best and leave the rest to Him.


The exam was held in Sydney, so I came to Sydney on Tuesday, trembling all the way. I have never been so fearful about an exam in my whole life, and in my life I have never failed anything (except for music class in primary school because I can't sing:P) but this time I thought to myself, I would surely fail this.


The few days and nights I spent by myself in the hotel , between the study desk (yes, it is a FIVE STAR hotel catered for busy cooperate people) and the toilet. The desk was piled up with many textbooks , each of them as thick as the yellow pages.


I was tired, lonely, and scared.


But God has not left me alone. Literally every single moment when I put down my notes, He would talk to me gently.


He said 'Lean not on your own understanding, but trust in ME, I will show you what I can do. '


I felt as though I was the Israelites spies who saw the Anakites in the land of Canaan ,the promised land , and they felt as small as grasshoppers in their own eyes. But the Lord told me that tomorrow He would give me the promised land. And not related to the Canaan land, He said He would part the Red Sea and let me walk on the dry ground. He also told me if I march around 'my Jericho' with His name , 'my Jericho' would surely fall down.


I was soooooooo close to God because there's only Him there and then. Nothing else can help me.


I went to the written exam on Wednesday. I realised I couldn't answer a lot of questions,; a lot of questions came out from passyear paper but I did not have time to do them. I saw many people finished the exam early and left confidently. My heart sank to the bottom.


Then I went to the oral exam on Thursday. It was disastrous. the first question was strange and unpredicted, I was terrified and lost my confidence for the subsequent questions. My mind went blank and I did not remember anything that I studied so hard for.


I came back to the room sobbing in tears again, thinking surely I would fail. And I would have to start all over again to prepare for another 6 months, and life had to pause again for this exam, etc etc etc.


Yet the Lord picked me up, I told myself, 'Siew Wai Wong ,Get up now and praise God.'


So I sang praises to Him in my sorrow and brokenness. I kept reading Psalm 23. 'Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me. '


Yet I heard Him say, ' Don't be despaired, for tomorrow this time I will show you what MY Mighty power can do.'
Oh my faith was stretched to a point of breaking. I began to doubt if it was my OWN voice which said this.


The result came out today on the wall of the exam hall. When I saw that I have passed not just one, but BOTH subjects, I couldn't believe my own eyes. I checked 4 times to make sure I got my name and number right.


Then I broke down in tears immediately, even until now. I have been crying intermittently for a few hours now.


Oh Lord Oh Lord, It is all Him. Nothing in me that deserves that. He really did it for me as He promised. I am overwhelmed and humbled by His loving kindness for me. It reminds me of my salvation, I have done nothing to deserve it, yet He has given it to me freely.


And I cry not because of the exam, but because of who God is.
It is like when Jesus caused Peter to catch a lot of fish; after seeing this, Peter abondoned the fish and followed Him.


I promised God I would share this testimony with everyone, because it is all God's glory.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!! Good and amazing testimony! Keep it up siew wai!

Anonymous said...

long time no hear from you sw! after reading this post the works that God worked through you have already awakened me spiritually. -liwen-

Genieve said...

hey siew wai! it is so amazing. am having a hard time now, but after reading your testimony, i am reminded again that our Lord is always with us through the hardest time. i am bless by your post.

congratulations!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful testimony. Thank you for sharing. To God be the glory! God bless you.

Unknown said...

Siew Wai praise God for His faithfulness to you and always. Surely He will achieve much better things in your life. Be strong in Him. It's just so lovely to see how life has changed in you! It's just amazing. -tina