my suicidal patient

She was teary, depressed and suicidal. I went into the cubicle, grabbed a chair, sat down, and looked into her eyes as she began to tell me her story.

She is a very ordinary middle aged woman, was divorced a few years ago. Since then, she found no meaning in her life; her ex husband abused and divorced her, her children were grown-ups and blamed her for the divorce, she has lost her house and all forms of support. She told me her many experiences of walking on the road and wanting to dash out of the pedestrian path and be run over by the vehicles.

My heart was very heavy when I heard her story. As I told her about God, she said she was 'once' a Christian, used to believe in Jesus until the tragedy in her life. She asked God why me? If YOU are a loving God why did You allow this to happen to me? ...so she lost her faith in God and wandered away.

I did not wanna be like Job's friends who accused Job for his troubles. Neither did I wanna tell her to 'be strong , have faith in God'...because as I was going through my own tough times, I finally came to realize the hurting ppl do not need such advice. When they are blinded by the circumstances, they are blinded. Human beings have no power to be God and lest us try to remove the blindness with our own words. They need a pair of listening ears , a heart that loves and the prayers. In due time, God will make a way through our love, our gentle spirits and our prayers.

So I just listened and listened and listened to her. At the end, all I said was God loves you and prayed for her. Her tears flowed like a flood as I prayed. And you know what happened at the end? She said she felt God's love again, she had been wandering for years, forgetting about God. She believed God had heard her prayer and today she met with God again. She said, of all the doctors, why was it I who saw her? and I happened to be a Christian. She believed it was God. She wanna trust in God again.

At the end I gave her the number of the church.

We hugged each other and said good bye with joy. She did not even need a psychiatric review, because she had no further suicidal intent.

I strongly believe God has called me into this ministry. Where is the church? The church is not in a church building. We are the church.