ultrawide angle

(It feels cold but the actual temp was 38C)

(As I peeped through a squared hole outside a construction site)

I am in love with my ultrawide lens. They said serious photographers are usually put into two distinct groups: the telephotists and the wide-anglists. I have both lenses and used to think I certainly belong to the telephotist's group, until I started to learn a bit more about ultrawide angle.

Sometimes it is not necessarily good to zoom in and focus on something thru a pin hole. I have begun to like the 'wide-ness' and the expanded horizon that I see thru a wide angle.

And I just love the distorted edges of the image, they call it barrel distortion.

The item that currently tops my wishlist is a fisheye lens :)

My Birthday is just around the corner...maybe I should get myself a present.

This summer

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It is madness. 41 C. And the ultimate madness was that I walked to the gym in MID DAY , under the scorching sun. I felt my whole body was cooked inside out. Especially my brain, I could feel the brain juice was going dry and gradually my brain was shrinking and shrinking...




That might have contributed to the madness.








Then all of a sudden I caught this vision of two aboriginal kids playing in the pool/fountain. Looks like people are more disinhibited in extreme weather. And true, who could resist the temptation of having fun in the cool water in summer? At this point all my brain cells were fired up by this unusual sight and came to life again.



With my zoom lens I still came close to the fountain and snapped snapped snapped (yea i bring my camera wherever I go). Snap, snap and snap again... Suddenly I felt the weight of a hand upon my shoulder. I turned around and saw an aboriginal adult stood right next to me (When did he come so close to me????)



The next thing he did was asking me for money because I took the pictures of his children!
By now, I realised I was in a disadvantaged situation and not too far away there were a big gang of aborignal people. I saw that right in the beginning but I just could not resist the temptation of taking those photos.



What do think I did at the end? :)

Daddy and son

(photo taken by SW on 28/2/08, King William Street)


My Heavenly Father will always watch out for me. At the cross road, He stops me and makes sure the road is hazards free, then He says, 'Now son, we will walk.'


Then He bends down to my level, holds my small hand gently in His, and walks with me. He lifts up His left foot, and I imitate Him. But my stature is short, I make the biggest step I can, yet I am never able to catch up.


I am wobbly and unsteady on my feet! I am scared. And the other side of the road seems impossibly far.


But my Father is patient with me. He never rushes me because He knows I am small.


He says,' It's ok , son. I AM here. Don't be afraid. I am holding your hand and walking with you. I will never leave you in the middle of the road. '


It's a cold day, chilled wind is blowing in all directions, all against my lil body. But my Daddy's body is strong and His grasp is firm. His palm makes me warm.


I squint at Him and ask, 'Daddy, does your back hurt from bending over?'


He smiles and shakes His head, 'No, son, I've endured a pain greater than this. '


Eventually we make it to the other side of the road. I know He could have carried me on His shoulders, but He wants me to learn and walk this journey with Him. He could have abondoned me so that He could have reached there without any delay, but He loves me too much.


:) There's no love greater than the Father's love.

hope you like it

Of course, more photos on www.siewwai.zenfolio.com






My craziness for photography kicked in again. Torrens. Beautiful sunset and weather in the end of summer. This is why I love Adelaide.

Thank you

Today I had a big surprise when I checked my email inbox. It was an email from my dad!!


Of course, thanks to the ever improving technology, emailing has become one of the necessary means of communication. It is so easy for any of us here to just turn on the computer, get connected to the internet, click a few buttons and send an email.


But not for my mom and dad! Especially mom, as curious and interested as she may be, she has a kind of fear for computer that I find very amusing, as though the computer might break down anytime if she presses the wrong button.


So it was really something big and exciting when I received my dad's email!
And I was so touched. so touched. so touched.



This was what he wrote,



' what are u doing now it is 3am now you must be sleeping i just learned how to e mail mun mun taught me and mama also learned but mama is lazy nevermind i will teach her. now you are in your new job and a lot of pressure bear with it you will get used to it,and we all will be behind u and support u fully. dont drink too much coffee it will affect your stomach .I asked mama is there any thing to say she is already asleep. thats all for the time being, good night we all love u. bye bye.'



Just a very simple email. But it means everything to me.


Thank you, thank you , thank you. I miss you.

Good morning Adelaide

I have been rostered OFF today! :)








Guess what I did in the morning?!...








I woke up really early this morning and went to the central market with my camera. Of course, me and my camera. This has been what I wanted to do for ages, to capture the very first heartbeat of the central market.








My huge zoom lens and big camera have obviously attracted a fair amount of attention, including that of the security guard hahaha...








It was such a wonderful experience. I talked to a lot of ppl, asked them to pretend as though I wasn't around and most of them didn't mind to pose for me. One of them gave me a peach.








I made a few new friends too. A cafe owner made me a cup of mocha free of charge. There I was sitting in this very small homely cafe for almost 1 hour. Another regular dropped by for his routine cuppa, opened his very expensive MacBook and showed me his short films and photographs.








This is a beautiful market. A beautiful place. Beautiful ppl.

He made me a cup of mocha...

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Mocha and peach...

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The owner of a bookshop


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It doesnt take much to be happy, I dun need anything, just God in my life, and a heart to love and appreciate the beauty of life. A cup of mocha in a small cafe brings me smile. Life is simple and good.

25/2/08

I was meant to write this post a few days ago, have been living without internet connection at home for a good 1 week!


A few ppl have already shown their concern re: my last post...Hehe:) My apology if I sounded aggressive.


Well, I must say I have had a rough week. So much was going on and it was all too overwhelming to me. But all in all God is with me and has again and again reminded me of His faithfulness.


The reason of me being upset and discouraged was I found out that this year I am not eligible to apply to the surgical training program for 2009 because I am not a PR. That means I will have to wait this year, get registered next year; and if everything works out well (hopefully), I may then start my surgical training in 2010.


This is only gonna happen IF I have accomplished this and that in order to increase my eligibility for the selection, given that the competition is very very intense.


Yeah...to cut the long story short, I'll have to anticipate hardships ahead of me.


Nevertheless, I've become even more determined to stick to this path after knowing the challenges and hardships that I will have to endure. I have seen how God's been guiding me onto this path and as soon as I know and am made certain about this, I will just do it. That's just my character. If God says Go, then nothing can stop me.


I am gonna go all out for this. If it means I will have to put in 10 times more effort , I will do it.


Many ppl have advised me against this decision. I have been bombarded with questions like 'are u sure?.....u are a female, it's gonna be hard to have a family!...is it worth it? ...Can't u just do something easier? u can still be a missionary doctor...dun have to be a surgeon... etc etc etc'


Well, I just think , if God has given me the resilience and the surgical personality, why waste it?
Why not aim for the highest/most difficult, and do my best with the help of God? Why tell myself I am gonna fail even before the beginning of the battle? Why succumb to the lies of the devil if God is atually on my side?


Without God, I am just a tiny lil Asian girl who doesn't stand a chance at all amongst the huge white men (this is a male dominated field); I m certainly not the most intelligent one, and probably not as articulate as them.


But with God, I am more than a conquerer. With the name of God, King David killed the giant with just a sling and a stone. I can do the same can't I? :)


2008 and 09 will be tough, there will be many giants to kill and many mountains to climb. God has already shown me the way and given me the resources, all I need to do is just to walk the journey myself.

19-2-08

I guess it's time for me to update a lil bit about what i've been thinking.


Frankly speaking life has not been smooth sailing. Actually I shouldn't be surprised by this fact. Just that it's been full of drama lately, certainly unexpected ones, and one came after another.


Yesterday I was just so stressed up, was thinking, awww, is this part of growing up? Every now and then I'll have this moment of cowardice, wanting to go back to my parents and forever hiding under their wings. Well, just fleeting moments of weakness.


Then I went to the gym and worked out really hard. To me, I think physical exercise is a brilliant way of releasing stress. It's usually when I exercise that God ministers to me.


There I was running and running on the treadmill, faster and longer than usual. I heard God asking me, 'SW, why are you stressed about life? and worried about your future? '


' I dunno, I am just scared.'


' What are you going to gain by worrying and being anxious?'


'. . . '


'Trust in ME.'


All of a sudden my clouded became clear. And I realised the root problem of my anxiety/stress was that I have lost my trust in God and hence the loss of perspective. The whole time in the last few weeks I felt as though I was merely floating in air. And that's an awful feeling to have.


I ran faster and faster but my physical body was more and more energetic. Trains of thoughts went through my small brains.


I'll rise up again, and run the journey of life just like how I am running now. And hey, I can't control my circumstances but I do have full control over my emotions and I CAN decide how I wanna view the situation. I used to teach the younger ones that we are made to be overcomers, not losers; have I forgotten what I taught?


Just whenever the devil tells me 'No SW, you are not gonna win', I will shout back to him ,' YES, I WILL WIN. Try stopping me and you are not gonna succeed.'


God is good :) I'd better go back to the operation theatre now...my boss is waiting...

Valentine's day

Not today...but 3 days ago.

On the Valentine's Day, I took my half day off (not that I celebrate it, neither was I slack, but the department was really quiet..thats another story) , went home, walked to the gym, and walked home again after my workout.

I made a very interesting and unusual observation as I walked back and forth between the gym and my home, and the duration was approximately 30 mins altogether for both ways.

In the span of 30 minutes ( exclude the time that I spent in the gym), I saw 4 ambulances passed by King William St. all at different time. Very very unusual.

That many emergency cases? Are they all suicidal? Esp. that it's Valentine's Day. How many hearts are broken?

Just wondering...

Back here

My dog Brownie was standing on her hind legs by the dining table, drooling, eyeing my lunch , struggling to reach the food.

She was forced into a basket.....

My dearest sister and her daughter

Day 2 post arrival. I am missing home. Every single bit of me is missing home. It doesn't help that I have lived here for 4 years and 1 month.




I knew I had to sort out a lot of paper works as soon as I get back in Adelaide. Things like visa, rental lease, bills, work related admin crap etcetc...that made me reluctant to come back.





The great Adelaide aiport seemed so unreal to me. Didn't get much sleep at all on the plane, I was extrememly tired when I touched down in the morning.





As if it wasn't bad enuf, out of no reason I couldn't make any call with my mobile, my ATM card was not working, my credit card payment wasnt approved for one of the transactions...got home and quickly went online to check my bank account. Great, guess what, the internet was NOT working.





Worse still, there was a pile of letters and bills awaiting me on the table.One of them was from the Court. The Court fined me for not paying for a traffic offence earlier on, stated I was convicted of that traffic offence.





I had only half a day to sort out everything before I started on my job the next morning. I was dashing around like a mad woman, going from one place to another , making phone calls after phone calls.





In my exhaustion, I asked myself this question again. Why am I in Adelaide. If I were at home at least my family would back me up for everything. EVERYTHING. I am by myself here.





This was just a fleeting moment of weakness. And in my weakness I wept. I have not cried for a very long time for any circumstances, for God through trials has toughened me.





I talked myself through this, or , God talked me thru this. Don't look back. Don't pity yourself. Don't be too comfortable. Don't speculate about the thousands of 'what if's. Don't stop now. Don't reason. Don't live on feelings. Keep walking! Keep trusting in God!





God is good. Eventually I got everything fixed up. The Court's fine was withdrawn because I did actually clear the fine earlier on. Mobile and internet running fine again. Rental lease renewed. Bills paid for. Work admin stuff cleared.





I realise I did actually need to see miracles to be encouraged, nevertheless in my moments of weakness I know God has magnified Himself through lil things.

I don't have to have everything I like

This has lately become my motto , 'I don't have to have everything I like', and I have said it so often that it has almost become like an advertising slogan.


'What I want' and 'what I really need' are two different things.


I have FINALLY understood this after spending an awful lot of money on my camera stuff. Not that I regret buying them, by no means. But it was ever since I've 'lost' that huge amount of money that I began to think twice before I spend another dollar.


I mean, I am now in KL where shopping is great, everything barely costs 50% of the normal price for a similar item in the Aussie Land. It is easy to fall into the trap of spending unnecessarily just because everything is so cheap after converted to AUD, even though I know at the back of my mind I have already had something similar at home, I don't actually need it.


So every time when I am tempted to buy something, I would literally mumble to myself like a mad woman, ' I don't have to have everything I like'.


God tells us clearly in the Scriptures that our hearts are deceptive, contrary to the teaching of the world that tells us to listen to our hearts and live according to our desires, nothing should come in our ways as long as we are happy.


Shopping is just an illustration, there are many other things I could have said. Life is greater than our own desires, greater than our limited understanding, greater than our twisted perspectives. There is a PURPOSE.


Must I have everything that I believe I need? What do they mean to me? What if I had the whole world in my hand, yet my soul died of spiritual thirst and starvation?


After all, there is one thing I've learned. To draw close to the Creator, the Giver of lives, is like having the treasures of the whole world combined...naw, it is more than that.
Nothing is more refreshing and satisfying than to come to the Living Water and drink from Him.


I don't have to have everything I like, that's my latest slogan. But I certainly have to have my Lord.

bronchitis and I

The whole time while I was working on the ward I was sicknessproof, even when I came in contact with patients with pneumonia, tuberculosis, herpes/ chicken pox (I've never had chicken pox as a child), fungal infections etc etc...I was never down with a flu in winter, never had a sick day.


And, ironically, it's finally happened during my holidays... (when I'm out of the hospital)


Today's the 5th day of my self diagnosed bronchitis. It all began with an upper respiratory tract infection ( i.e sore throat, lethargy, muscle ache etc), consequently my ear was blocked (I've always had recurrent ear infection, that's another long story), then I started coughing (vigorously) out yucky phlegm, having shortness of breath, chest tightness/chest pain...





The diagram above is the result of boredom, I can't do much at all with this bronchitis. Last week I could still run 15km at my usual pace ; yesterday I gotta stop after 5km and coughed uncontrollably; today I was out of puff even with climbing the stairs.


This morning I woke up from a night mare where I was sitting up on a hospital bed. My consultant Dr B came as he did his ward round ( the question is, why was my consultant in my dream?), with exactly the same tone when he told a patient that she's got asthma, he went like 'I've had a bad news for you, you have got severe asthma and have to stay on lifelong medication.'


Then instantaneously someone handed me a bag of medicines, the exact types of medicines that I see everyday in the patients' drawers...I was horrified....


Too much of working in the hospital...


I've gotta sit for IELTS (an English test, for the purpose of visa application) this Saturday. With my deaf ear and continuous hacking cough, I think I'll look very funny in the listening and speaking session :)

A joy to look at

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Who ? I guess... the answer is : babies.


Those cute lil things, while they are still a few months old.


I asked my friend Florence, one of the parents , what does it feel to have a newborn?


She said ' Gianna (the baby girl) is a real joy to me.'


I can't possibly understand it now, and not sure if I will ever capture the joy that every parent has. My friend is already a mom at my age (and I am not very young)... Why do I feel marriage and having kids is never my priority? Maybe I am just not cut for that :)


Ok. My heart was touched at the baby dedication ceremony yesterday. Everything was good; baby Gianna and other babies are gorgeous; I was happy because I was again holding my camera :)

day 6 in KL

I have been having a good time at home, of course it's always good to be home.


KL has not changed much since I last saw her 6 months ago, except for a few new highways and a new shopping center .


The city is still chock full of people and vehicles.
The entertainment/ F&B business is still blooming here (and has been since years ago).
The headlines still revolve around the same sorts of stories.


It is good to be home:)


The only downside of living here is the lack of my freedom in doing whatever I desire. For example, carrying an expensive camera( and lenses ) wherever I go is generally discouraged.
I was already bombarded with horrible tales like how someone's arm was chopped off in broad day light in KL, by some evil baddies who could not think of any better ways to snatch her handbag.


Otherwise there would have been excellent shooting opportunities at places like the alleys, the old buildings, the massive crowd of white collars crossing a busy road at lunch hour, the busy wet markets, the park lands , the little old man who sits on his little wooden stool outside of the 30 year old grocery stall etc etc... KL is so beautiful, full of colours and life.


Not shooting for more than a week has made me very restless. Staring at my camera and lenses but having nothing to do with them is a real torment to my mental state (well, of course it was exaggerated)... guess what I did? I shot the roof of my neighbour's house through my window. I hope my neighbour did not see it and think I was spying on him/her :)


To be continued...

what do I like about Adelaide?

Her simplicity.


I was born and bred in a big city. My grandparents, parents and the whole extended family are from KL, and I have lived in the heart of the city centre of KL for the whole of my life.
My heart sank when I first arrived in this small town 5 years ago. Coming from a big city, I thought everything in Adelaide seemed pathetically small and slow.



Now I've gradually fallen in love with this place. I have begun to appreciate her beauty. Every part. The streets, the trams, the buses, the trees, the buildings...and most importantly, the people.


God gives me the heart to see the beauty of everything. Call me naive, but I insist to believe every creature , every part of the creation is beautiful.









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no subject

(A scooter, one day I wanna own this...)



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Someone came up to me and said 'It's a very pretty camera that you are holding! Which press do you work with?'


I was very tempted to say 'the National Geographic Mag.' (because it was my dream when I was much younger) ...I shook my head , 'Naww..I am a doctor.'


'Ohhhh!! You must be a genius! You are very young to be a doctor!'


The usual response that I get all the time when I tell ppl about my occupation. Many of them thought Im a nurse, a physiotherapist, a pharmacist, an accountant, a uni student (usually 1st year uni student)... I love playing this game, love anticipating their reactions when I tell them my actual age and occupation :)))


Maybe I should do something about my face...maybe smile less? Put on a pair of glasses? Chuck my funky clothes and shoes???? hehe....


But it is certainly an honour to be mistaken as a photographer, all the more I should carry my camera wherever I go :)

a lazy day

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This morning for the first time I wasn't waken up by the alarm clock...the actual fact is that I probably wouldnt even need an alarm clock to wake me. Just like this morning, my bio clock actually told me to get up, I jumped up and thought I was late for work (as usual). It was only after a while that I realised I am officially UNEMPLOYED now!




Yay! I happily went back to sleep, woke up at 830am, had a big evil grin on my face, thought Dr B and team must be enjoying their ward round ...


It felt so good, for the first time in the last couple of months I finally got my 7 hours sleep.




As you can tell from the pictures, yeah, I went to Glenelg with my camera again. Glenelg is such a great place for photography.



What can compare to a sunny morning, sitting by the beach , grabbing a McDonald's egg and sausage muffin , and sipping a Cibo's latte, holding my toy in my hands, and having my good friend keeping me in company?





More photos are on my http://www.siewwai.zenfolio.com/

I have been forcing all my friends to visit the site...

OMG

This is still very shocking to me...in a good way :)


Today I gave my consultant an appreciation card, specially hand picked because of its colour. He is a baby blue person, I have never seen any grown up man being so obssessed with a particular colour. He is always wearing blue of different shades, occasionally a darker blue...but it is always a blue. His car is a metallic baby blue if I am not mistaken.


In the card I also included my photo website ... but I did not expect a busy person like him would even care to visit my website...let alone going to my blog! He asked me 'so I am a very cheeky consultant ?' OMG OMG OMG!! Instantaneously I knew he'd come to my blog and read thru the posts... and I am just an intern...


At that moment I was so glad I did not bitch about him on my blog :D


Anyway...I am glad that he did spare some of his precious time for this mini mighty mouse.
He wrote a very good report about me, the comment that I like the best goes like 'a lovely intern with great humour'...humour? I think he's got a better sense of humour :) It was him who made the team the greatest.


Just a thought :)....if he ever had to give me an end of term assessment form for his overal performance as a consultant, I'd probably write :' Dr B is a lovely consultant who allows his staff the freedom to express themselves, He's done well in this term, always looking after his staff and occasionally letting his intern boss him around when he is in a good mood, and despite all this, he still willingly shouts the team coffee. '


:) but to be honest, my Boss, if you are reading this post, you know that you have been a great boss. Even the registrar once told me that he'd so glad that he worked on this unit.


A gold star for you :)

what a year

It has come to the end of my internship, finally. It will be my last day tomorrow.

The year has gone by very very quickly. I still remember very vividly the day when I started my internship, exactly 365 days ago.





This has been a tough year. The first time of many things.






I remember I started off with my night shifts, and I was probably more confused and disorientated than any of my demented patients. I remember the lil old lady who was very very frail, she didn't make it after a major surgery. I still remember in the middle of the night I was called to see her when she was in coma. I gave her too much fluid and indirectly contributed to her death the next morning. That was the first death in my career. Of course I was weeping and weeping the whole week. Never again I allow myself to repeat the mistake.






I remember my dearest surgical registrar who did the nights with me. We became good friends , every night he told me his stories as a missionary surgeon in India. I remember on my way of collecting my car I liked to put lil prayer notes or words of encouragement under his windscreen wiper. That was the first time I was inspired to wanna be a surgeon.






I remember how terrified I was when I had to go into a dying patient's room packed with 20 ppl, telling them their nana was going to die.






I remember spending my Chinese New Year , my 26th birthday, my Good Friday, my Easter at night alone in the office whilst on night shifts. I remember I broke up with Chris in the morning of 18/2 and came to work at night on the same day, hiding my own emotions and putting up a mask. I think my boss must have seen my swollen red eyes.






I remember hitting 140 hours a fortnight in my 2nd rotation while I went through a very tough time in my personal life. How could I have possibly handled both the stress of work and the stress of my life events altogether, if it was without God???? A patient shouted at me on the corridor demanding to have his needs sorted out immediately, while I had not even my LUNCH at 5 pm. That was the first time I yelled at my patient. That was also the first time I broke down in tears in front of my colleagues, just for 10 seconds.






But later on this very handsome patient turned out to like me and attempted to ask me out. Don't worry, of course it did not happen.






Oh yea, of course I remember good old Mr X. He too was very old and frail, but we became good friends. Every night I'd drop by his room and say a prayer for him. He would tell me ' Siew, you have made my day'.....I remember him very well, because he was asking for me the very moment before he died, according to the nurses.






We all learn through trials and errors. We all had a hard time in the beginning. It has finally come to the end of internship. I no longer tremble because nothing makes me too scared now.






It is always hard to say bye to something that you cherish so much in ur heart. I've enjoyed all my days at work, I might not be excellent but I have done my very best in every rotation, and esp this one.






I am not sure if any of these beautiful ppl would even know the existence of this post, but I just wanna say I love them all. This has indeed been the highlight of my internship, the team has been the greatest of all. Efficient, on the ball, compassionate, united, supportive of each other, forgiving, and most importantly, fun loving.






And now Mighty Mouse has become my nickname on the ward, thanks to my very cheeky consultant :)






Hmm...what a year of being at the bottom of the foodchain...a bit of nostalgia here, I have a lot to share , but really should be going to bed now...

arrrgggggggggggggggggg

and arrrrggggggggg! Forgive me if I am screaming out too loudly. I was just so annoyed that I missed the entire count down posting , just because of the stupid internet connection.I have been living without the www for nearly 2 weeks and finally, finally , finally, it's all fixed....but ... but...but I had sooo much to share during those last few days of 2007, esp about what God has done for me in this tough year! Anyway..



Work has been crazy , it is coming to the end of my internship and just 2 more days to go! And being as obssessive-compulsive as I can, I just wanna make sure I finish ALL my jobs before I leave, without leaving any shit for the new interns, they will have enuf troubles of their own in the beginning of their internship. Just today itself I've stayed in the hospital for 16 hours. The next 2 days will be WORSE. I will not leave the hospital on Tuesday if I do not finish the last discharge summary.



Ok, photos of this week...as usual, I actually again went to the Torrens River, just me myself and siewwai, time of solitude again. God is good, isn't He? Whoelse can possibly paint the sky like He does?





















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