19-2-08

I guess it's time for me to update a lil bit about what i've been thinking.


Frankly speaking life has not been smooth sailing. Actually I shouldn't be surprised by this fact. Just that it's been full of drama lately, certainly unexpected ones, and one came after another.


Yesterday I was just so stressed up, was thinking, awww, is this part of growing up? Every now and then I'll have this moment of cowardice, wanting to go back to my parents and forever hiding under their wings. Well, just fleeting moments of weakness.


Then I went to the gym and worked out really hard. To me, I think physical exercise is a brilliant way of releasing stress. It's usually when I exercise that God ministers to me.


There I was running and running on the treadmill, faster and longer than usual. I heard God asking me, 'SW, why are you stressed about life? and worried about your future? '


' I dunno, I am just scared.'


' What are you going to gain by worrying and being anxious?'


'. . . '


'Trust in ME.'


All of a sudden my clouded became clear. And I realised the root problem of my anxiety/stress was that I have lost my trust in God and hence the loss of perspective. The whole time in the last few weeks I felt as though I was merely floating in air. And that's an awful feeling to have.


I ran faster and faster but my physical body was more and more energetic. Trains of thoughts went through my small brains.


I'll rise up again, and run the journey of life just like how I am running now. And hey, I can't control my circumstances but I do have full control over my emotions and I CAN decide how I wanna view the situation. I used to teach the younger ones that we are made to be overcomers, not losers; have I forgotten what I taught?


Just whenever the devil tells me 'No SW, you are not gonna win', I will shout back to him ,' YES, I WILL WIN. Try stopping me and you are not gonna succeed.'


God is good :) I'd better go back to the operation theatre now...my boss is waiting...