Tough...

In retrospect, I had a very tough week.

Or should I say I've had a very tough 24 hours. One of the most upsetting moments in recent years.

It's a long story anyway. Just to cut it short, the medical admistration of the hospital mistreated me by making drastic and unfair change to my roster, without asking me for my agreement, without informing me, and when confronted, denied their mistakes.

Wednesday was the day when all RMOs started our 2nd term in different departments, according to the roster. Instead of the surgical department which I was initially rostered to go to, they put me to Emergency. And this was done in a very inappropriate, irresponsible and crass manner.

Of course I was extremely furious. Everyone knows I have a very high tolerance for mistreatment. I hardly get upset by anything at all. This time I lost it.

It's like you really really really love traveling, you so wanna go to Paris.You work hard for it, everyday you look fwd to it, you've done all the preparation, you tell the whole world u are going to Paris , and just the day before you take off, things happen like, the flight gets canceled.

And it's not your fault.

I was utterly disappointed and discouraged. Not just because I really wanna do surgical stuff, but also because I've made my plans in life and career according to the initial roster, and important decisions for next year were to be made based on my experience on the surgical term. Now everything seems to be 100 times more difficult.

And looks like it's gonna take forever for me to finally be selected into the surgical training program.

That was the worst moment in the recent years. I asked God, wasn't that YOUR calling for me to be a surgeon? Wasn't that Your promise that You'll guide me through?

I could not see any open door, I could not see any hope in it.

I was walking aimlessly on the street in the rain, I did not even care if I was drenched or not. I just wept.

But that's not the end of the story.

I told God, I'd still worship You and trust in You even though it is very hard to trust when you don't see anything. Then I began to sing praises to Him and declare His bigness and goodness.

Though for a while I was discouraged, yet I would not give up.

I asked God to let me see His Kingdome, and faithfully He did so. I recalled the stories of Joseph, Moses and David. None of God's people reach the promise land without first being tested again and again.

Who am I to make plans according to my own understanding? Who am I to box God and expect Him to do this and that according to my time? He's opened my eye and I began to see. Then I laughed at myself. Why am I furious? Why am I worried? Why am I frustrated when things don't go the way I thought it should? Is not God big enough to make the impossible possible?

His plan is higher than mine. Everything is made more difficult now. Like in the book of Daniel, the fire was turned up 7 times hotter. And after this, all the more I would not give up. The devil tried to challenge me , but does he know that challenges only make me stronger in God...

I guess God wants me to know, if I ever get into my surgical training, then it has got nothing to do with my ability at all. It has to be all by His grace and all glory goes to Him.

I am blown away and humbled by His plan. Now I've gladly accepted the delay. It does not matter anymore. Really. God is great isnt He.


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Just a thought...How do you think God sees you?