Gorgeous

(Photos taken by sw , more photos are available on www.siewwai.zenfolio.com)

Children are gorgeous, they are God-given blessings to the world. Enjoy the photos, enjoy the moments that were captured with a camera.




As for me, I have been busy. Although busy yet I never forget to bring my camera with me wherever I go, and I have already taken about >800 photos in the last 2-3 weeks without having the time to organise them and upload them. These are just some of them....



I might have to slow down, as I've developed right wrist pain and finger numbess (repetitive strain injury) from shooting with the very heavy camera+lens.

a man with hepatic encephalopathy

This is a medical jargon. Hepatic means liver related. Encephalopathy means brain pathology.
So hepatic encephalopathy literally means brain damage secondary to liver problems. It is an end stage presentation of liver disease, because the toxins in the body cannot be removed by the liver and therefore causing injury to the brain cells...


Last year when I was an intern I met a patient with this disorder. He came in and out of hospital for the complications of his end stage liver disease. He liked me a lot, he was especially nice and sweet to me' and always allowed me to perform all types of medical procedures on him.


He said I was very hilarous, I always made him laugh. He called me the Mighty Mouse.


Then I left that department at the end of my internship. But I knew he'd been in and out of hospital again. Every now and then when I visited my colleagues there, they would tell me that he asked about me everytime he came in. He usually described me as 'the little chinese female doctor who tapped my ascites ( it is an invasive procedure whereby a long needle is poked into his tummy to drain out the excessive fluid)...' and he was very proud that he let me jab him.


Why am I telling the story of this man?


Because this is a story about missed opportinities.


Since I left the ward, I have never gone to see him even thou I knew he was back in, in spite of the strong urge of doing so.


Today to my shock, I heard he had deteriorated very quickly this time,in coma, he might die anytime.


I ran up to the ward. I could barely recognise him. He was so thin, the whole body has turned yellow. He opened his eye at my calling , but no longer responded to the Mighty Mouse who once made him laughed.


I heard a voice in my saying, ' Tell him about Jesus now. Now!'
Then my own voice said ' No not now. The room is packed with relatives.'
' But it is about eternity!'
'But I can't do it! Too many ppl here!....oh God help me please!Let someone else do it! '


I have already given up. At the moment of weakness and cowardice, someone knocked on the door. It was the Chaplain.


Oh my God..! I heard myself exclaiming ' YOU ARE HERE!!!!!' ...as though I saw a long lost friend.


She was puzzled at my response for we have never met before. It is ok. She might not know, but at that very crucial moment I knew God was standing right at the door.


I left the room quietly , with a very burdened heart and a lot of flashbacks of him joking with me and calling me the Mighty Mouse. My patient was dying but I couldn't do it , my flesh was weak :(


But nothing would stop God's plan, not even my limitations.

27- part 2, for papa and mama

Mom is so cute! She rang me on my bday's eve, precisely 30 minutes before the clock turned 12am. But at that moment I was actually just about to blow the candles(my best mate threw me a surprise party). Mom greeted me happy bday, then dad took over the phone desperately; then there was a commotion behind sounded like my brother's and his gf's greetings.



I had a very funny thought flashing thru my mind when I heard my mom's greeting. Why do mothers greet their children on their birthdays? As if it is to say ' Hello my little friend, welcome to the world again!' ...or to make it sound like a gentle reminder that she went thru the pain to bring her babies to the world...



Just when I was thinking about this , mom on the other side of the phone left a witty remark just before she hang up. 'And hey, don't forget I gave birth to you on this day!'



hahahhaha....she is so cute.



On my 26th birthday she sent me a very beautiful birthday card, said she loved me.





25th, she posted me a platinum necklace with a cross, with a scribbled note (ok, she is a very busy business woman), 'I hope you will wear it daily and may God keep and bless you' ...that was one of the best presents I've had. For she has not believed in Christ, yet.





24th, a very beautiful birthday card, a cash note in a red envelop :)



23rd, ...can't remember...



Then dated backwards were the ages of rebellion for me and endless nights of heartaches for her. That was before I met God and changed by HIM. I wonder, on those birthdays, has she ever regretted bearing me?





What's one of the most memorable presents? It was on my 9th birthday. I still remember she came home from work and handed me a very very huge (huge to me back then) present. It was like my dream came true. A quilt printed with colourful cartoons!!! I wanted one very badly after being influenced by the TV series shot in countries with winter seasons. I thought it would be very cool to snuggle into a thick quilt.


Like many baby boomers back then, mom and dad started off a family without anything. She told us stories of when we were very small, how she lived on just a slice of bread/just some steamed rice and a mug of coffee for lunch, until she passed out at work because of malnutrition. Her colleagues had chicken rice at lunch , she could only enjoy that yummy stuff with a glance.


A quilt did not come cheap back then, esp in a tropical country. She got it for me because I wanted it. I wonder how many servings of chicken rice she could have bought with that money.


And there she was squashed like sardines in the rush hour bus, carrying the very bulky present, coming home to celebrate my birthday.


I did not end up using the quilt for more than 2 nights because it was just too inappropriate for that kind of climate. I 'found' it in the store room a few years ago and brought it to Australia with me. It has been 'with' me for 17 years and till now it is still on my bed. I must sniff it and hug it to sleep every night. No one is allowed to touch it.

Did mom have her own dreams? Mom was still young when she bore us, what would she have done if she had not borne us? I am 27 and I feel my life has just begun, and there are many dreams I want fulfilled. What was she thinking when she was 27?

I could see in the photos how pretty and hot she was before she bore us. She wore this dress at 25, I doubt if I could even fit myself into it without breaking any thread. (I 'found' it in the store room too, and brought it to Australia) ...

It's all for us that she made many many sacrifices.

I thank God from the bottom of my heart for saving me, transforming me, and showing me the way to honour my parents.

This year I didn't get any present from her, but giving me this birthday is already the greatest gift.

27 - part 1- for my friends

(More photos are on www.siewwai.zenfolio.com)

I've had a very blessed birthday...

Thanks to the vigorous publicity 'My Birthday is coming! My birthday is coming!', this birthday has drawn the attention of many ppl, and most have come to celebrate with me with the big relief written all over their faces, ' finally....' was the word what they all said :)

and, ' your REAL birthday has finally come, this will keep your mouth shut for at least a few months before you announce your next year's birthday again!'

:) you all know I was just joking whenever I said my birthday was coming, and I have been saying that since a few months ago. I WAS JUST JOKING...

I know I am very cheeky ...but what I am gonna say is from the bottom of my heart.

This was such a blessed birthday. Thank you..Thank you...and Thank you.

Thank you for the surprises, the parties, the cakes, the cards, the flowers, the presents , the SMSs, the emails, the phone calls , the blog comments, the MSN msgs....Thank you for the love, the thought, the effort. And thank u for remembering me.

Each gesture means so much to me. Truly.

May God bless your beautiful hearts.

happy birthday to ........me!

yeay!


But I am now still officially 26, because I was born in the afternoon of 31/3/1981, plus it was in Malaysia of which the time is 2.5 hrs slower than here. So theoratically I will only turn 27 in the late afternoon tomorrow :) good, I AM STILL 26 now.


Too tired to say anything now, my boss gave me some homework hence I have been spending my whole night in front of the computer doing research on a project that I will soon commence.


Will post tomorrow :)

It's like a game

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By the way, the photo is just a random display:)








I am already very tired. But just wanna encourage a few ppl who have been reading this blog.



I am very glad I can do whatever that's in my capacity to encourage you. Be it a word or a photograph , if there's anything that God will use, then I'll let God use it for His glory.



All of us are on the journey of fighting numerous battles and climbing mountains of immeasurable height.It is a life long journey, just the thought of it is already very daunting.



I've learnt (and am still learning) to just focus on fighting the daily battle. Yesterday's victory does not guarantee today's success, neither does yesterday's failure makes me a looser today; but it taught me how to trust in God a lil more than yesterday.



I've come a long way to learn this: How do we get there to the promised land? There is no magic here. It is by daily obedience, daily devotion, daily renewal of hope, etc etc...Every step counts. Just like I said, through every failure I learn about my limitation, and through every success I learn about God's majesty.




It's like playing a game...I told my sister, this is a game of a lifelong process and I am having fun in it. The funniest part is, everytime when I think I've already acquired a lot and bcome quite good in one level, the referee of this game steps in and says 'hehe, you are not quite there yet, wait till you come to the next level.'



Then as I come to the next level, the game gets harder and harder. I've embarassed myself by assuming I will win as long as I adopt the same skills and attitude of the previous level. Of course it's not true.



Fun. I hope I am not the only clown who loves a game as such.

A picture

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A snapshot of two chairs in the garage of an office block just across the road. The setting sun cast its shadow on the wall.

What came to your mind when you saw this photo?

I painted a very beautiful picture in my mind just when I saw this. I am sitting on the chair closer to the shadow, and God sits on the other one. And we are talking and laughing like good friends, or , Dad and daughter. The shadow shall not be cast on me because I am sitting close to my God.

I asked myself a very random question, what would I have thought about this photo 5 years ago, before I met God? I would probably be overwhelmed with a sense of hopelessness rooted deeply in my soul.

Where would I be without God? What would I be doing now without Him? I can't bring myself to even think about it. It would be awful. I dun wanna go back to where I was.

He has literally RESCUED me.

How is my hope renewed on a daily basis when everything seems mundane? By remembering His grace.

Without God, I would probably think, awww what a depressing photo.

With God, I think, hmmm I wanna sit on that chair right next to Him, and enjoy the spectacular sunset .

Adelaide Kite Festival

This photo is available on www.siewwai.zenfolio.com














This photo is also available on www.siewwai.zenfolio.com








And this, of course is on www.siewwai.zenfolio.com.









One of my fav shots.

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www.siewwai.zenfolio.com again...man I feel as though this was a commercial site.

The event was proudly sponsored by the Malaysia Airlines! yeay!

Our national pride in the Aussie sky !:) www.siewwai.zenfolio.com

The Aussies call this Wau Kite...

Just a random snapshot.

More photos of course are available on www.siewwai.zenfolio.com

I was completely blown away by what I saw at the Semaphore Beach.



And it was for the first time that I heard about the Kite Flyers Association. These are professional kite flyers and they are zealous in what they do. I thought kite flying was like a kiddie game that I sort of tried when I was in primary school. These ppl fly internationally to various kite festivals! And some have 20 years experience in kite flying and are well known internationally.... Huge applause for them.

17/3/08

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They said a painting tells about the painter...likewise a photo reflects the photographer, he/she presents what he/she sees thru his/her eye.



I wonder what people tell about me, from my photos.



Some say my photos can be very cold, some say my photos are story telling, some say they are filled with melancholy and loneliness . I dunno. What do you think?


To me , photography is an art, it is not about how expensive the gear is, or how many pieces of lenses/accessories I've acquired. Too many ppl do photography just because they are obssessed with the collection of the equipment but have neglected the art of it.


To me, photography is all about capturing the moments/details that are unseen by the human eye. Simple. I believe this is something I can use to serve the purpose of God.

Calm

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Yeap, in the midst of my troubles I AM STILL walking around with my camera :)

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I AM AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!

This is real. ( And, in retrospect, I am seriously very amused by my life stories , I feel like a clown :))


This afternoon I received an email from the immigration department of Australia saying that I am currently not covered by any visa, and they would not grant me a bridging visa because I lodged my visa application offshore (I did that while I was in Malaysia, 2 months ago).


By the way, my previous visa expired a week ago, but I DID notify them about this earlier on and received no response from them.


Now they are telling me that they have not received my medical examination reports, resulting in the delay of processing the visa; and blaming me for not notifying them about the expiry of it.
And they will charge me with something called 'unlawful and xxxxx' (see, I can't even remember the whole title of the charge )


Clearly this is NOT true. I have done everything that was required, and wasted my 2 months for nothing.


Anyway, to cut the long story short, the only thing they can do is to give me a bridging visa that only allows me to stay in Australia for 28 days. And in this 28 days I will have to justify my purpose of living in Australia (that involves a lot of paperwork again), they will decide whether to grant me the real visa or not.


The worst case senario will be I might have to depart from Australia. Not sure if they will give me a visa to come back. And because of this , there will certainly be a delay in PR application and I might again miss the application for surgical training next year.


What a mess. I am an illegal immigrant!


But I AM NOT worried or upset about this for I am very certain that my future is in God's hand. God is in control of everything. If there is a delay of going on the surgical path for a purpose, then let there be a delay.


It might be an attack/distraction from the enemy, it might even be a test from God, or a process that God wanna bring me through to strengthen me and teach me something valuable. Just the other day I became so convicted about living my life to worship Him, and the reversal happened today.


Will my world crumble? No!
Will I still trust in God and love Him? Definitely!
Will I still be filled with joy and peace? Oh yes :)


What can strike down the Mighty Mouse? :) If God is for me, who is against me...even if I will have to leave Australia, I will still praise Him.


So today as I had to rush off from my work place for the immigration, my colleague asked why I was still laughing? If it was him, he would be jumping up and down.

Yea, I am a clown :) And I am more amused myself than feeling annoyed.

Stay tuned...

ultrawide angle

(It feels cold but the actual temp was 38C)

(As I peeped through a squared hole outside a construction site)

I am in love with my ultrawide lens. They said serious photographers are usually put into two distinct groups: the telephotists and the wide-anglists. I have both lenses and used to think I certainly belong to the telephotist's group, until I started to learn a bit more about ultrawide angle.

Sometimes it is not necessarily good to zoom in and focus on something thru a pin hole. I have begun to like the 'wide-ness' and the expanded horizon that I see thru a wide angle.

And I just love the distorted edges of the image, they call it barrel distortion.

The item that currently tops my wishlist is a fisheye lens :)

My Birthday is just around the corner...maybe I should get myself a present.

This summer

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It is madness. 41 C. And the ultimate madness was that I walked to the gym in MID DAY , under the scorching sun. I felt my whole body was cooked inside out. Especially my brain, I could feel the brain juice was going dry and gradually my brain was shrinking and shrinking...




That might have contributed to the madness.








Then all of a sudden I caught this vision of two aboriginal kids playing in the pool/fountain. Looks like people are more disinhibited in extreme weather. And true, who could resist the temptation of having fun in the cool water in summer? At this point all my brain cells were fired up by this unusual sight and came to life again.



With my zoom lens I still came close to the fountain and snapped snapped snapped (yea i bring my camera wherever I go). Snap, snap and snap again... Suddenly I felt the weight of a hand upon my shoulder. I turned around and saw an aboriginal adult stood right next to me (When did he come so close to me????)



The next thing he did was asking me for money because I took the pictures of his children!
By now, I realised I was in a disadvantaged situation and not too far away there were a big gang of aborignal people. I saw that right in the beginning but I just could not resist the temptation of taking those photos.



What do think I did at the end? :)

Daddy and son

(photo taken by SW on 28/2/08, King William Street)


My Heavenly Father will always watch out for me. At the cross road, He stops me and makes sure the road is hazards free, then He says, 'Now son, we will walk.'


Then He bends down to my level, holds my small hand gently in His, and walks with me. He lifts up His left foot, and I imitate Him. But my stature is short, I make the biggest step I can, yet I am never able to catch up.


I am wobbly and unsteady on my feet! I am scared. And the other side of the road seems impossibly far.


But my Father is patient with me. He never rushes me because He knows I am small.


He says,' It's ok , son. I AM here. Don't be afraid. I am holding your hand and walking with you. I will never leave you in the middle of the road. '


It's a cold day, chilled wind is blowing in all directions, all against my lil body. But my Daddy's body is strong and His grasp is firm. His palm makes me warm.


I squint at Him and ask, 'Daddy, does your back hurt from bending over?'


He smiles and shakes His head, 'No, son, I've endured a pain greater than this. '


Eventually we make it to the other side of the road. I know He could have carried me on His shoulders, but He wants me to learn and walk this journey with Him. He could have abondoned me so that He could have reached there without any delay, but He loves me too much.


:) There's no love greater than the Father's love.

hope you like it

Of course, more photos on www.siewwai.zenfolio.com






My craziness for photography kicked in again. Torrens. Beautiful sunset and weather in the end of summer. This is why I love Adelaide.

Thank you

Today I had a big surprise when I checked my email inbox. It was an email from my dad!!


Of course, thanks to the ever improving technology, emailing has become one of the necessary means of communication. It is so easy for any of us here to just turn on the computer, get connected to the internet, click a few buttons and send an email.


But not for my mom and dad! Especially mom, as curious and interested as she may be, she has a kind of fear for computer that I find very amusing, as though the computer might break down anytime if she presses the wrong button.


So it was really something big and exciting when I received my dad's email!
And I was so touched. so touched. so touched.



This was what he wrote,



' what are u doing now it is 3am now you must be sleeping i just learned how to e mail mun mun taught me and mama also learned but mama is lazy nevermind i will teach her. now you are in your new job and a lot of pressure bear with it you will get used to it,and we all will be behind u and support u fully. dont drink too much coffee it will affect your stomach .I asked mama is there any thing to say she is already asleep. thats all for the time being, good night we all love u. bye bye.'



Just a very simple email. But it means everything to me.


Thank you, thank you , thank you. I miss you.