This is a ridiculous law. Imagine what would happen to you if you said,'Hey siewwai, you have become very fat and ugly!' I would have a few options as to what I could do to u. I could either laugh at it and let it go, or bring this to the commission and charge you. Why is this a stupid and ridiculous law? Because this is unlike other laws. Under other laws, you are innocent until proven guilty, but this law says that you are guilty until proven innocent.
Therefore, if you said I was fat and ugly and I felt offended by this, I could bring this to the commission and you would automatically be guilty until proven innocent. you would have to spend lotsa lotsa lotsa money in the court to prove your innocence.
If you went to a church and heard the preacher said 'God is the only true living God', 'All men are sinful' etcetc and got offended by that, you could bring this the commission and charge the preacher for what he said. He had to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to defend himself in the court to prove his innocence.
This has happened in Victoria. 2 preachers were charged because what they preached was NOT PLEASING in the ears of some unbelievers. Then they had to spend a lot a lot a lot of money to defend themselves. That money could have been used on the mission field.
I can't believe this has happened in Australia, in a culture that has been proud of her freedom of speech. You don't have the freedom to say/write/publish anything for fear that what you say/write/publish might offend a certain group of ppl in the community. If I don't like you or what you say; or if I am an oversensitive and easily offended person, then I can accuse you of discriminating me whenever I like.
We must stand up and stop this from coming to South Australia. How to do that? Go to
www.willyouvisitmeinprison.com
and hey, don't you dare to say I am fat and ugly, I have a weapon in my hand, i can sue u now haha
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
yesterday, today and tomorrow
I have been asking God a lot of questions lately about my future. What is Your will God? In terms of relationship, career, ministry etc etc... I am very sure I have been called to be a full time missionary/church servant, but there are many important things in my life that are unsettled now and I can't see anything at all. In the past few months I have been using words like 'why, what, where, when, who and how' in my conversations with God.
I think finally God must have had enuf of me hehe (just joking, He is the perfect God, will not get impatient like men do) that He spoke to me about my attitude. It was like a bright light that shone in my heart, the energy in the beam was so high that it pierced my heart, it made loose all the entangled knots...Things that I thought mattered to me a lot didn't seem to be so big anymore.
He taught me something about 'yesterday', 'today' and 'tomorrow'.
He told me to trust in Him for my future. Don't ask why when who where when and how. The future is not for me to see, because what He wanna give me He has already done so. He has given me my 'yesterday' and my 'today'. My tomorrow is still in His hand and He will surely give it to me when 'today' has passed.
I have my 'yesterday' and that's been given to me so that I can learn, reflect, and ponder upon it. God has worked in all my 'yesterday'-s, He has revealed and done what He wanted to in my 'yesterday', and now that has become mine, it is for me to see, to believe and to remember (Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart- Luke 2).
And from what I have learned and seen and believed in my 'yesterday', I execute it on my 'today'. I live my 'today' based on the faith that I have built on from 'yesterday'. Therefore, 'today' is mine as well, it is a gift from God. Every 'today' is a gift, a new start, another opportunity. It is the place I practise what I have seen and learned yesterday.
In conclusion, God has already entrusted all the 'yesterday'-s and 'today' in my hands, and they are mine now, and that's enuf of work for me. Why shall I be greedy that I still want to hold my 'tomorrow' in my own hands? It is securely guarded by God, it is not mine yet. He will give it to me anyway whenever I've passed my 'today'.
Hahaha...it is like a parent handing a dollar cash note to his young school child every morning before school. The child cannot demand the next day's pocket money, but for the money that has been given in the past, she can keep it in her piggy bank. Her daddy has surely prepared the next day's money for her, only to be collected in the next morning.
Wow...I just feel it is so awesome to hear from God =)
I think finally God must have had enuf of me hehe (just joking, He is the perfect God, will not get impatient like men do) that He spoke to me about my attitude. It was like a bright light that shone in my heart, the energy in the beam was so high that it pierced my heart, it made loose all the entangled knots...Things that I thought mattered to me a lot didn't seem to be so big anymore.
He taught me something about 'yesterday', 'today' and 'tomorrow'.
He told me to trust in Him for my future. Don't ask why when who where when and how. The future is not for me to see, because what He wanna give me He has already done so. He has given me my 'yesterday' and my 'today'. My tomorrow is still in His hand and He will surely give it to me when 'today' has passed.
I have my 'yesterday' and that's been given to me so that I can learn, reflect, and ponder upon it. God has worked in all my 'yesterday'-s, He has revealed and done what He wanted to in my 'yesterday', and now that has become mine, it is for me to see, to believe and to remember (Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart- Luke 2).
And from what I have learned and seen and believed in my 'yesterday', I execute it on my 'today'. I live my 'today' based on the faith that I have built on from 'yesterday'. Therefore, 'today' is mine as well, it is a gift from God. Every 'today' is a gift, a new start, another opportunity. It is the place I practise what I have seen and learned yesterday.
In conclusion, God has already entrusted all the 'yesterday'-s and 'today' in my hands, and they are mine now, and that's enuf of work for me. Why shall I be greedy that I still want to hold my 'tomorrow' in my own hands? It is securely guarded by God, it is not mine yet. He will give it to me anyway whenever I've passed my 'today'.
Hahaha...it is like a parent handing a dollar cash note to his young school child every morning before school. The child cannot demand the next day's pocket money, but for the money that has been given in the past, she can keep it in her piggy bank. Her daddy has surely prepared the next day's money for her, only to be collected in the next morning.
Wow...I just feel it is so awesome to hear from God =)
Thursday, February 01, 2007
back to work
My 1st night of the 2nd week has gone half way now. Finally I had a bit of luxurious spare time to sit down and sip some coffee. Surprisingly I have been busy although the work load itself has not been that heavy. I think until now I have used up 50% of my energy trying to fit in again and get back the momentum to work at night..you know, 7 days of break is a long break.
The system here is that night shift doctors work 7 nights in a row , 12 hrs per shift, and get the next 7 days off. At this stage I love night shifts for a few reasons. Working on night shifts makes me feel that I am a 'real' doctor. Not that I wasn't one if I did not work at night, but because at night there are only a minimal number of staff on board, so I work alone and make independent decisions for the patients. And yet the best part is, it is not my responsibility as a night intern to follow up on any patient, therefore if anyone becomes unwell overnight the nurses will call me , I will treat them accordingly, and hand them back to the home team in the morning. It is like baby sitting, the parents go off and leave the baby with me, I play with the baby, and hand it back to them later. No hassles, no responsibility after that :)
And I like the 7 days off :) The only setback is that I probably need the first 2 out of 7 days to adjust my bioclock back to normal, my body picks up on the 4th day, and thereafter I have an absolutely normal lifestyle until the 7th day. Bed time is 12pm and get up at 8am. That's y it is hard to get back to work. Such as now, it has long passed my bedtime. I will probably need 2-3 nights to get used to this.
And this cycle will go on and on and on....
Maybe I should take a short nap now.......zzz.... later
The system here is that night shift doctors work 7 nights in a row , 12 hrs per shift, and get the next 7 days off. At this stage I love night shifts for a few reasons. Working on night shifts makes me feel that I am a 'real' doctor. Not that I wasn't one if I did not work at night, but because at night there are only a minimal number of staff on board, so I work alone and make independent decisions for the patients. And yet the best part is, it is not my responsibility as a night intern to follow up on any patient, therefore if anyone becomes unwell overnight the nurses will call me , I will treat them accordingly, and hand them back to the home team in the morning. It is like baby sitting, the parents go off and leave the baby with me, I play with the baby, and hand it back to them later. No hassles, no responsibility after that :)
And I like the 7 days off :) The only setback is that I probably need the first 2 out of 7 days to adjust my bioclock back to normal, my body picks up on the 4th day, and thereafter I have an absolutely normal lifestyle until the 7th day. Bed time is 12pm and get up at 8am. That's y it is hard to get back to work. Such as now, it has long passed my bedtime. I will probably need 2-3 nights to get used to this.
And this cycle will go on and on and on....
Maybe I should take a short nap now.......zzz.... later
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
a revelation (2)
Then I made myself sit down to analyse/discover myself. Many things happened in the past months and I have not done that for a while.
And while I was doing that God began to speak to me. Yes I did the test, I gotta know who I am at this stage, and subsequently I listed the top 5 weaknesses in my life. I always knew I have got these issues in my life, it is not like i did not know myself. Preachers and bible teachers always ask us to list down our strengths and weaknesses, I myself as a leader urged my members to do that as well. But this time is different. After doing that, I felt something deep inside me has woken up , from being slumber for ages. I felt a gush of fresh air and fresh oil poured down in my heart and it was entirely drenched in the freshness. I felt the awakening has caused every cell in my body to leap in joy and passion again.
I know it's very hard to imagine but that was exactly how I felt. I felt like dancing, shouting, grabbing someone in her/his arm and say Hey, I have woken up again. My Father has pulled me up again.
It has been too long that I lived by those weaknesses/issues in my life. I thought to myself, well, no one is perfect and it is ok to be imperfect. So yea, I knew I had the issues, but I was just too lazy to bring that up. Day by day they have slowly become part of me and I am so comfortable with being compromised, so contented in becoming the 2nd best.
Too long, it has been too long that I allowed myself to be the door mat and let the enemy (the devil) make his way in and out and step on me, trample over me under his feet.
A sick person will run to a doctor only if he/she agrees he/she is sick. God has tolerated me for a long time, and today as I declared it, something new took place. I wanna again allow the blood of the Lamb to wash me all over, I wanna let grace be grace.
God has begun His process of disciplining me, yet even His discipline is sweet, and His hands are gracious, because He breaks me down now in order to rebuild me to become stronger. I said He was gracious because He breaks me before the enemy (the devil) has any opportunity to do that to me. He disciplines me before I stumble in the face of my enemy. It is safe to fall before my Lord, fall at His feet, and He will reach His hand out for me. If I have to die, I'd rather die in Jesus than in the hand of my enemy.
And while I was doing that God began to speak to me. Yes I did the test, I gotta know who I am at this stage, and subsequently I listed the top 5 weaknesses in my life. I always knew I have got these issues in my life, it is not like i did not know myself. Preachers and bible teachers always ask us to list down our strengths and weaknesses, I myself as a leader urged my members to do that as well. But this time is different. After doing that, I felt something deep inside me has woken up , from being slumber for ages. I felt a gush of fresh air and fresh oil poured down in my heart and it was entirely drenched in the freshness. I felt the awakening has caused every cell in my body to leap in joy and passion again.
I know it's very hard to imagine but that was exactly how I felt. I felt like dancing, shouting, grabbing someone in her/his arm and say Hey, I have woken up again. My Father has pulled me up again.
It has been too long that I lived by those weaknesses/issues in my life. I thought to myself, well, no one is perfect and it is ok to be imperfect. So yea, I knew I had the issues, but I was just too lazy to bring that up. Day by day they have slowly become part of me and I am so comfortable with being compromised, so contented in becoming the 2nd best.
Too long, it has been too long that I allowed myself to be the door mat and let the enemy (the devil) make his way in and out and step on me, trample over me under his feet.
A sick person will run to a doctor only if he/she agrees he/she is sick. God has tolerated me for a long time, and today as I declared it, something new took place. I wanna again allow the blood of the Lamb to wash me all over, I wanna let grace be grace.
God has begun His process of disciplining me, yet even His discipline is sweet, and His hands are gracious, because He breaks me down now in order to rebuild me to become stronger. I said He was gracious because He breaks me before the enemy (the devil) has any opportunity to do that to me. He disciplines me before I stumble in the face of my enemy. It is safe to fall before my Lord, fall at His feet, and He will reach His hand out for me. If I have to die, I'd rather die in Jesus than in the hand of my enemy.
a revelation (1)
AW Tozer preached in one of his sermons about the importance of self-judgment.
'almost all men live from childhood to death behind a semiopaque curtain, coming out briefly only when forced by some emotional shock and then retreating as quickly as possible into hiding again.'
He told of some rules for self-discovery that I find quite relevant.
1. What we want most.
2. What we think about most.
3. How we use our money( exclude the necessities of life)
4. What we do with our leisure time.
5. The company(ppl) we enjoy.
6. Whom and what we admire.
7. What we laugh at.
'almost all men live from childhood to death behind a semiopaque curtain, coming out briefly only when forced by some emotional shock and then retreating as quickly as possible into hiding again.'
He told of some rules for self-discovery that I find quite relevant.
1. What we want most.
2. What we think about most.
3. How we use our money( exclude the necessities of life)
4. What we do with our leisure time.
5. The company(ppl) we enjoy.
6. Whom and what we admire.
7. What we laugh at.
Monday, January 22, 2007
the 4th night - my first lesson
It's my 4th night in the hospital. Right now I am very sad because one of my patients has gone very sick and might not make it anymore. I think I am responsible for her deterioration. I think I made a mistake in the treatment decision for her. My colleagues and senior doctors said her decompensation was the result of all the medical and surgical problems that she's been having. What I did was not the culprit, even though it was one of the contributing factors for her condition.
But I don't believe it. I think I made the mistake.
She is a very frail lil old lady, very old. I remember 2 weeks ago when she first came in , I put a drip in her arm, and she was still fit and smiling. I put in one but that one did not work, I apologised to her and she said 'It's ok, you gotta learn and try again.' She was smiling all the way. I remember she has got a lil soft toy by her side when she slept. Before I left she said she did not wanna be alone. I told her she was not alone, and I would come back to see her. Then I cuddled her and held her hand. ....Then I left her room , and became so busy afterward that I forgot to say hi to her again.
Today when I saw her again I couldnt help but cried at her bedside. She was so sick and in coma that she did not respond to any stimuli, her mouth was wide open and after every now and then she would grasp for air. Her lil soft toy was still next to her, but this time she wasn't holding it in her arm. Her whole body was puffy because of the fluid that I gave her. I gave it to her too quickly , too much, her body could not take it and went into this end stage deterioration.
I cant get rid of the scenes, they just keep flashing through my mind. The scene that I cuddled her and she hugged me back tightly, and the scene that she said she did not wanna be alone and I said you are not alone, I will come back to see you...but I did not go back because I forgot to. The scene that she smiled and said I gotta learn and try again and waved byebye...The scene that she held her soft toy in her arms while she slept...
A lot of ppl have asked me in the past, if I ever had any patient who passed away and how I felt about that. I have seen patients died , but they were not my patients. Now I really feel it because it was my mistake that contributed to her deterioration.
My first lesson, my first painful experience and I will never forget this lesson...No wonder they said every doctor would certainly 'kill' a few patients indirectly , in one way or another during their training years.
But I don't believe it. I think I made the mistake.
She is a very frail lil old lady, very old. I remember 2 weeks ago when she first came in , I put a drip in her arm, and she was still fit and smiling. I put in one but that one did not work, I apologised to her and she said 'It's ok, you gotta learn and try again.' She was smiling all the way. I remember she has got a lil soft toy by her side when she slept. Before I left she said she did not wanna be alone. I told her she was not alone, and I would come back to see her. Then I cuddled her and held her hand. ....Then I left her room , and became so busy afterward that I forgot to say hi to her again.
Today when I saw her again I couldnt help but cried at her bedside. She was so sick and in coma that she did not respond to any stimuli, her mouth was wide open and after every now and then she would grasp for air. Her lil soft toy was still next to her, but this time she wasn't holding it in her arm. Her whole body was puffy because of the fluid that I gave her. I gave it to her too quickly , too much, her body could not take it and went into this end stage deterioration.
I cant get rid of the scenes, they just keep flashing through my mind. The scene that I cuddled her and she hugged me back tightly, and the scene that she said she did not wanna be alone and I said you are not alone, I will come back to see you...but I did not go back because I forgot to. The scene that she smiled and said I gotta learn and try again and waved byebye...The scene that she held her soft toy in her arms while she slept...
A lot of ppl have asked me in the past, if I ever had any patient who passed away and how I felt about that. I have seen patients died , but they were not my patients. Now I really feel it because it was my mistake that contributed to her deterioration.
My first lesson, my first painful experience and I will never forget this lesson...No wonder they said every doctor would certainly 'kill' a few patients indirectly , in one way or another during their training years.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Interesting comments..+ my personal point of view
I have been following the reports on BBC about Mr Bush's NEW strategy in Iraq, and I came across the comments of readers about the troop boost plan. I find some of them quite amusing :
'Blair and Bush are despised. The problem is, they both say they are supported by each others' countries - the only feasible justification left for their endless arrogance. Blair would look such a fool if Bush told the truth and said he didn't need him any more, and Bush would just as surely look even more of an idiot if Blair told the truth and said he only supported Bush because he thought the rest of the world would too. Isolate these two headless chickens and you isolate the problem in Iraq.'
'Bush and the USA should admit that the Iraq war is the greatest mistake in US history. They should then go to the UN and ask for international troops (300,000 at least) pay for them and then depart Iraq as soon as the UN troops arrive. In paralel China and India should urgently help develop and excecute an economic reconstruction plan for Iraq.That is the only way to peace.The US citizens then should decide if Bush and others responsible need to be tried for war crimes.'
'The invasion of Iraq has nothing to do with freedom, security, or democracy. It's an attempt by U.S. imperialism to maintain a foothold in the Eurasian continent for the sake of natural resources that benefit primarily the constituants of this corrupt american government. The american people voted for a democratic congress to voice their opposition to the war. Bush has made it clear that the voice of the people doesn't matter. Absolute power has corrupted this regime absolutely.'
........and there are a lot more. Most ppl hold opposing opinions against this so-called 'new plan' which certainly does not sound new to me.
What can I say about the world which is chaotic and has probably gone insane? What can I do about the violence in Iraq? What about the chaos in Middle East? What about Somalia?
Living in this world, I consistently have mixed feelings of despair and hope. To my despair, the world is in the process of decay; to my hope, my Lord Jesus has promised to come again, and all this chaos that's been happening has rightly fulfilled what the Bible prophesies, that means our Lord may come soon.
Well, the world is so big, yet it is so small. Right now I am sitting in a cosy, comfy and air-conditioned room in a developed country .I am physically so far from any part of the world. The problems of the world do not seem to bother me in the least. Yet through the internet I am reading the reports about the ppl who do not see the hope of tomorrow,whose lives may be lost in a split second. I feel I am close to them.
Lives are lost at a horrible rate in today's world, in my opinion, Gospel must be spread quickly because we are in a fierce battle against the enemy, namely Satan.
( Did I sound too serious? Hehe ... Enough of save-the-world speech. I'd better get back to my work now before my "boss" i.e the nurses yell)
'Blair and Bush are despised. The problem is, they both say they are supported by each others' countries - the only feasible justification left for their endless arrogance. Blair would look such a fool if Bush told the truth and said he didn't need him any more, and Bush would just as surely look even more of an idiot if Blair told the truth and said he only supported Bush because he thought the rest of the world would too. Isolate these two headless chickens and you isolate the problem in Iraq.'
'Bush and the USA should admit that the Iraq war is the greatest mistake in US history. They should then go to the UN and ask for international troops (300,000 at least) pay for them and then depart Iraq as soon as the UN troops arrive. In paralel China and India should urgently help develop and excecute an economic reconstruction plan for Iraq.That is the only way to peace.The US citizens then should decide if Bush and others responsible need to be tried for war crimes.'
'The invasion of Iraq has nothing to do with freedom, security, or democracy. It's an attempt by U.S. imperialism to maintain a foothold in the Eurasian continent for the sake of natural resources that benefit primarily the constituants of this corrupt american government. The american people voted for a democratic congress to voice their opposition to the war. Bush has made it clear that the voice of the people doesn't matter. Absolute power has corrupted this regime absolutely.'
........and there are a lot more. Most ppl hold opposing opinions against this so-called 'new plan' which certainly does not sound new to me.
What can I say about the world which is chaotic and has probably gone insane? What can I do about the violence in Iraq? What about the chaos in Middle East? What about Somalia?
Living in this world, I consistently have mixed feelings of despair and hope. To my despair, the world is in the process of decay; to my hope, my Lord Jesus has promised to come again, and all this chaos that's been happening has rightly fulfilled what the Bible prophesies, that means our Lord may come soon.
Well, the world is so big, yet it is so small. Right now I am sitting in a cosy, comfy and air-conditioned room in a developed country .I am physically so far from any part of the world. The problems of the world do not seem to bother me in the least. Yet through the internet I am reading the reports about the ppl who do not see the hope of tomorrow,whose lives may be lost in a split second. I feel I am close to them.
Lives are lost at a horrible rate in today's world, in my opinion, Gospel must be spread quickly because we are in a fierce battle against the enemy, namely Satan.
( Did I sound too serious? Hehe ... Enough of save-the-world speech. I'd better get back to my work now before my "boss" i.e the nurses yell)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Shoulder ache
This morning I was woken up by an intense pain in my right shoulder as I moved it. It was quite a horrible experience because I've never had this pain in my shoulder before. I was quite surprised that thousands of things could flash thru my mind within a few seconds in the midst of my sleep.
'Oh, this is tendonitis! The symptoms are exactly the same with what I learned!'
'My God! I can only lift up my arm to a certain degree! How am I gonna work tomorrow? How do I take blood and do procedures to the patients...'
'I am still young! I still wanna play lotsa sports...I wanna do gymwork, I wanna resume road biking, I wanna climb more mountains, I wanna play badminton, I wanna swim etcetc...and I wanna continue to play drums and learn the guitar...awwww how am I gonna do it now? How am I gonna do it now? '
'I can't take anti-inflammatory drugs because I've got weak stomach from drinking too much coffee. Awww...that means I have to cut down my coffee! And from tmrw onward I will work overnight for 7 nights, that is bad BAD for my stomach as well.....
(shoulder ache) versus (gastric pain+NO coffee)? Awwwwwww I am not gonna take anti-inflammatory drugs.'
***
Then God began to speak through His Word (the Bible) as I flipped to one of the pages.
Isaiah 41:13 -14 ' "For I AM the Lord , your God,who takes hold of your RIGHT HAND and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I Myself will help you," declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One.'
Wowwww...He mentioned my RIGHT HAND, did you see, my RIGHT HAND! I was quite excited and amused when I read that, because it was my right arm that ached. My God cares about me, even before I prayed.
And yea, God was not wrong at all to call me worm and little...my faith was as little as a worm, until He spoke to me.Well, I am just a human...mortal and imperfect.
So, I know all things will turn out well. I know I will be alright, maybe God is using this to warn me about my coffee intake... =)
(To be continued...)
'Oh, this is tendonitis! The symptoms are exactly the same with what I learned!'
'My God! I can only lift up my arm to a certain degree! How am I gonna work tomorrow? How do I take blood and do procedures to the patients...'
'I am still young! I still wanna play lotsa sports...I wanna do gymwork, I wanna resume road biking, I wanna climb more mountains, I wanna play badminton, I wanna swim etcetc...and I wanna continue to play drums and learn the guitar...awwww how am I gonna do it now? How am I gonna do it now? '
'I can't take anti-inflammatory drugs because I've got weak stomach from drinking too much coffee. Awww...that means I have to cut down my coffee! And from tmrw onward I will work overnight for 7 nights, that is bad BAD for my stomach as well.....
(shoulder ache) versus (gastric pain+NO coffee)? Awwwwwww I am not gonna take anti-inflammatory drugs.'
***
Then God began to speak through His Word (the Bible) as I flipped to one of the pages.
Isaiah 41:13 -14 ' "For I AM the Lord , your God,who takes hold of your RIGHT HAND and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I Myself will help you," declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One.'
Wowwww...He mentioned my RIGHT HAND, did you see, my RIGHT HAND! I was quite excited and amused when I read that, because it was my right arm that ached. My God cares about me, even before I prayed.
And yea, God was not wrong at all to call me worm and little...my faith was as little as a worm, until He spoke to me.Well, I am just a human...mortal and imperfect.
So, I know all things will turn out well. I know I will be alright, maybe God is using this to warn me about my coffee intake... =)
(To be continued...)
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Part 4: New Career
I have gone through a couple of days of orientation to the hospital system, protocols and guidelines. It wasn't like those orientation progams of highschool or colleges packed with events. Our orientation consisted of multi-disciplinary seminars. The very fun part was about disaster management. We were brought outside the hospital and taught to use the fire extinguisher. It was for the first time in my life that I put out a fire (made for practice purposes) with a fire extinguisher.
How do I feel about being a real doctor? The only thing I can say now is, MY BRAIN IS BLANK AFTER 6 YEARS OF MED SCHOOL. The best part is, I am gonna start on night shift, which means I will be on my own in the department . This time I feel I am really thrown into the deep sea to learn to swim all by myself. The shift starts from 8pm through to 9am the next morning and I will work 7 nights in a row per week for 3 months. The good thing is, I get every alternate week off after every 7 nights.
Tonight I am gonna have my first night shift with the outgoing intern.
Well, it is not all that bad at all. I am generally very excited and happy. I know God has planned everything for me, I have learned to appreciate what He gives me and I need not to worry at all. Everything comes timely around this time of the year. New year, new accommodation, new carreer, new lifestyle...and I have lived a 1/4 of a century. It very well serves as a brand new start of the next phase of my life.
I am excited :)
How do I feel about being a real doctor? The only thing I can say now is, MY BRAIN IS BLANK AFTER 6 YEARS OF MED SCHOOL. The best part is, I am gonna start on night shift, which means I will be on my own in the department . This time I feel I am really thrown into the deep sea to learn to swim all by myself. The shift starts from 8pm through to 9am the next morning and I will work 7 nights in a row per week for 3 months. The good thing is, I get every alternate week off after every 7 nights.
Tonight I am gonna have my first night shift with the outgoing intern.
Well, it is not all that bad at all. I am generally very excited and happy. I know God has planned everything for me, I have learned to appreciate what He gives me and I need not to worry at all. Everything comes timely around this time of the year. New year, new accommodation, new carreer, new lifestyle...and I have lived a 1/4 of a century. It very well serves as a brand new start of the next phase of my life.
I am excited :)
Part 3: New house
I have finally shifted into the new place.
It was just a few months ago that we started praying for a house. We wanted a place that is near OCF and church so that we may open the house for the meetings of OCF and church members. We wanted to make it a shelter, a place of rest and peace for any friend who needs a break. Therefore we prayed for a house of a good location and size.
In just less than 5 mins after we prayed, we received a phone call from a friend asking us to check out a house for rent. To our amazement, the house is located just directly opposite of where we ususally meet for OCF, and it is just a few mins walk from the city centre. The garage is quite large which is nice for my car and we are gonna spare some room in it to keep the musical instruments of OCF. We saw that this house would fulfil the purpose of serving God and the people.
The house is fully furnished at a very affordable rent.
What more amazing is, one of tenants who is staying on with us now is not a believer of Christ. Our relationship with her is so good that she has been coming to church with us for weeks.
The mircale of how we got this house is truly a humbling experience to me. It is exactly similar to how I got my car. In both cases, I learned one thing, that is to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness , and all these things will be given to us. Infact, He has given me abundantly, more than what I asked for.
If our hearts are right and what we ask for is to serve His people, I don't see any reason why God would refrain from distributing His grace and provision unto us. And the end result is always a win-win situation.
***
Tada~~~ now I am presenting my favourite corner of the bedroom. I gave away most of the furniture in my room and bought a few pieces from IKEA. Finally I have had a taste of designing my own room. Everyday after work I just can't wait to come home...
It is still messy, boxes of books are still piling on the floor because the very cool black bookcase has not arrived yet :)
It was just a few months ago that we started praying for a house. We wanted a place that is near OCF and church so that we may open the house for the meetings of OCF and church members. We wanted to make it a shelter, a place of rest and peace for any friend who needs a break. Therefore we prayed for a house of a good location and size.
In just less than 5 mins after we prayed, we received a phone call from a friend asking us to check out a house for rent. To our amazement, the house is located just directly opposite of where we ususally meet for OCF, and it is just a few mins walk from the city centre. The garage is quite large which is nice for my car and we are gonna spare some room in it to keep the musical instruments of OCF. We saw that this house would fulfil the purpose of serving God and the people.
The house is fully furnished at a very affordable rent.
What more amazing is, one of tenants who is staying on with us now is not a believer of Christ. Our relationship with her is so good that she has been coming to church with us for weeks.
The mircale of how we got this house is truly a humbling experience to me. It is exactly similar to how I got my car. In both cases, I learned one thing, that is to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness , and all these things will be given to us. Infact, He has given me abundantly, more than what I asked for.
If our hearts are right and what we ask for is to serve His people, I don't see any reason why God would refrain from distributing His grace and provision unto us. And the end result is always a win-win situation.
***
Tada~~~ now I am presenting my favourite corner of the bedroom. I gave away most of the furniture in my room and bought a few pieces from IKEA. Finally I have had a taste of designing my own room. Everyday after work I just can't wait to come home...
It is still messy, boxes of books are still piling on the floor because the very cool black bookcase has not arrived yet :)
Part 2: Life after graduation
I went through a difficult period of adjustment after the convocation. It was worse esp after my parents and sister went back to KL, all of a sudden I felt as if I was left alone in this foreign land again.
Suddenly the whole 3 years I spent here and the relationships that I have built in Adelaide did not seem to matter to me anymore. I began to ask myself this question again, 'Why am I staying here? ... I don't belong here , neither do I fit in the community of Malaysia. Where am I going from here?'
Worse still, I was homeless for two weeks after my parents left because the previous tenant was still living at this current place of mine. I could not move in until he moved out of the place.
As if that wasn't enough to cause me pain, my most beloved and favourite racing bike was stolen while I wasn't around for 1 month.
And this 2 weeks of homelessness+homesickness was like some sort of waiting period before I started my new career. Deep down in my heart I was rather reluctant to move on to this phase of my life.
It was very depressing...
***
In retrospect, I guess my problem was that I've excluded God out of the picture. The feeling of depression and hopelessness had been very well known to my brain for 21 years, it felt as if there was no tomorrow. The moment it hit me again I knew it was because I was far far away from my God.
I had to come back to Him asap because the weight of my heart was unbearable.
NOW I AM BACK ON TRACK.
I know God has a plan for everything. The process of being homeless, homesick and waiting to start a new career was actually ordained by Him to draw me closer to Him. When I fail to prioritise Him in my life, He will make sure He gets my attention, and that works well for me all the time. My God knows me :)
Suddenly the whole 3 years I spent here and the relationships that I have built in Adelaide did not seem to matter to me anymore. I began to ask myself this question again, 'Why am I staying here? ... I don't belong here , neither do I fit in the community of Malaysia. Where am I going from here?'
Worse still, I was homeless for two weeks after my parents left because the previous tenant was still living at this current place of mine. I could not move in until he moved out of the place.
As if that wasn't enough to cause me pain, my most beloved and favourite racing bike was stolen while I wasn't around for 1 month.
And this 2 weeks of homelessness+homesickness was like some sort of waiting period before I started my new career. Deep down in my heart I was rather reluctant to move on to this phase of my life.
It was very depressing...
***
In retrospect, I guess my problem was that I've excluded God out of the picture. The feeling of depression and hopelessness had been very well known to my brain for 21 years, it felt as if there was no tomorrow. The moment it hit me again I knew it was because I was far far away from my God.
I had to come back to Him asap because the weight of my heart was unbearable.
NOW I AM BACK ON TRACK.
I know God has a plan for everything. The process of being homeless, homesick and waiting to start a new career was actually ordained by Him to draw me closer to Him. When I fail to prioritise Him in my life, He will make sure He gets my attention, and that works well for me all the time. My God knows me :)
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Lets begin here - part 1: Graduation
Yeah, I know I have gone missing for a month. Just in case anyone may be interested,I'd better post something now.
My graduation went very well. Well, of course it went well, the university is very good at doing this. The only part that I personally did not quite agree was when the Health Minister said to us medical and dental graduates, ' You are the brightest and most intelligent among your generation.'
If the engineers heard this they would certainly be ticked off. I shall be very careful now because many of the visitors to my blog are engineers.
The most commonly asked question was ,' What do you feel about your graduation?'
My answer will be ,' Awwwwww I can no longer skip class or sleep in anymore!!!! I wanna be a student..'
Yea, the good part of graduation is that I am no longer a student, yet this is also the bad part of it. I enjoy making my own income, yet I lose some degree of freedom. I enjoy being treated as an adult, yet I hate to face the real world. I enjoy growing mature, but I don't like the ageing process.
What lies ahead of me? I shall share more when I get there.
Anyway, thank you Heavenly Father, thank you my papa and mama.
To be continued...
My graduation went very well. Well, of course it went well, the university is very good at doing this. The only part that I personally did not quite agree was when the Health Minister said to us medical and dental graduates, ' You are the brightest and most intelligent among your generation.'
If the engineers heard this they would certainly be ticked off. I shall be very careful now because many of the visitors to my blog are engineers.
The most commonly asked question was ,' What do you feel about your graduation?'
My answer will be ,' Awwwwww I can no longer skip class or sleep in anymore!!!! I wanna be a student..'
Yea, the good part of graduation is that I am no longer a student, yet this is also the bad part of it. I enjoy making my own income, yet I lose some degree of freedom. I enjoy being treated as an adult, yet I hate to face the real world. I enjoy growing mature, but I don't like the ageing process.
What lies ahead of me? I shall share more when I get there.
Anyway, thank you Heavenly Father, thank you my papa and mama.
To be continued...
Friday, December 08, 2006
the zoo
On one fine day, we decided to go to the zoo again. We were very bored of the city, and we missed the giant tortoises that we saw mating publicly in 2003, so we wanted to go revisit the wonderland.
My sister said something
that I thought was q
uite funny, 'The foreign tourists will surely like our zoo because it really looks like a wilderness of wildlife.'
uite funny, 'The foreign tourists will surely like our zoo because it really looks like a wilderness of wildlife.' What she meant was because the zoo was not neatly managed, some parts of it looked moderately unkempt. However, it gave us the impression as if it was done this way intentionally so that it looks
natural.I love the zoo, I love it because it
is our zoo. I love the unkempt
condition, I love the way they keep
the wallabies and ostriches in a
shared zone even though they are of different habitats.
I love the zoo because I was there with my beloved sister, just the two of us. I love all the crazy photographs that we took. I love our laughter and the crazy lame jokes that we told each other. I love the way we perspired
under the scotching sun, and we were sitting next to a huge lake, licking our ice-cream greedily, watching a big flock of flamingoes...I really love it :)
Monday, December 04, 2006
Patch Adams
Finally I watched that film yesterday! I know my friend Ming must be feeling relieved now ;) At one point when I was really fed up about being a medical student, he sent this DVD to me from London and insisted that I MUST WATCH IT. Yes, finally I have watched it.
I was really quite inspired by Patch. While I was watching the film, back in my mind I couldn't stop myself from calculating the cost of cooking a pool-ful of spaghetti... hehe.
I am very glad the medical education in Australia is actually quite different from what was shown in the film Patch Adams.
I can call my senior doctor by the first name, 'Hey XXX wanna go for a coffee?'
I am not required to wear the white coat in the hospital. There is no such thing like 'I am the doctor and you are not.'
And yes, Patch said, 'Everyone is a patient and everyone is a doctor. '
I agree :)
I was really quite inspired by Patch. While I was watching the film, back in my mind I couldn't stop myself from calculating the cost of cooking a pool-ful of spaghetti... hehe.
I am very glad the medical education in Australia is actually quite different from what was shown in the film Patch Adams.
I can call my senior doctor by the first name, 'Hey XXX wanna go for a coffee?'
I am not required to wear the white coat in the hospital. There is no such thing like 'I am the doctor and you are not.'
And yes, Patch said, 'Everyone is a patient and everyone is a doctor. '
I agree :)
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
what can you do with that $?
I read a story that goes like this.
A king was not happy with his old palace, so he wanted to build a new one that would cost the country a few hundreds millions of dollars. All the followers applauded such idea and they were excited about the construction of the new palace.
At this time, there was one man who was courageous enough to question the proposed construction of the new palace. Unfortunately , his questioning was regarded by the followers as an insult to the king, and thus to his ppl, and therefore an insult to the country. A police report was lodged against him just because this brave man was trying to convey the opinion of a certain group of ppl which sounded like an opposition.
I find this very unbelievable and it is beyond my comprehension. There was a deep sense of disappointment in me as I came across this story.
How would someone/something grow to be a better version if he/she refused opposition out of pride/ignorance?
What can a nation do with a few hundreds millions of dollars? Perhaps they should work towards better education/ health care/public transport system...
A king was not happy with his old palace, so he wanted to build a new one that would cost the country a few hundreds millions of dollars. All the followers applauded such idea and they were excited about the construction of the new palace.
At this time, there was one man who was courageous enough to question the proposed construction of the new palace. Unfortunately , his questioning was regarded by the followers as an insult to the king, and thus to his ppl, and therefore an insult to the country. A police report was lodged against him just because this brave man was trying to convey the opinion of a certain group of ppl which sounded like an opposition.
I find this very unbelievable and it is beyond my comprehension. There was a deep sense of disappointment in me as I came across this story.
How would someone/something grow to be a better version if he/she refused opposition out of pride/ignorance?
What can a nation do with a few hundreds millions of dollars? Perhaps they should work towards better education/ health care/public transport system...
Friday, November 24, 2006
Holiday part 2 - Singapore
Then I came back to KL and had very good rest from the food poisoning.
________________________________________
SINGAPORE:
I can only conclude that God has surely planned this trip for me.Besides the making of new friendships and strengthening of relationship with old friends in Sg, God has done more to realign my life to His will.
Retrospectively, now I know God knew I needed this trip. Because He knew, He planned it for me. And because He plannned it carefully, it became so devine that everything fell into place.
As if He knew I needed a pause/rest from everything, He gave my heart and spirit a good rest in Sg. There was no need to minister to anyone, answer calls, reply emails etc...I was the recipient of love, words of wisdom as well as rebuke from my mentors.
I came home feeling tired physically but refreshed and naurished spiritually.
God has surely widened my horizon, opened my eyes to see things beyond my knowledge, and most importantly, revealed my weaknesses before my own eyes (That's why my mentors rebuked me).
The older I grow (spiritually and physically), the more God reminds me that 'Hey, actually you don't know many things at all, don't be proud.' Therefore I want a new start badly and I know I have already been granted one. I want to start walking this 2nd stage of my journey with humility, not that I have any now, but I wanna learn to embrace it.
Phew... :)
________________________________________
SINGAPORE:
I can only conclude that God has surely planned this trip for me.Besides the making of new friendships and strengthening of relationship with old friends in Sg, God has done more to realign my life to His will.
Retrospectively, now I know God knew I needed this trip. Because He knew, He planned it for me. And because He plannned it carefully, it became so devine that everything fell into place.
As if He knew I needed a pause/rest from everything, He gave my heart and spirit a good rest in Sg. There was no need to minister to anyone, answer calls, reply emails etc...I was the recipient of love, words of wisdom as well as rebuke from my mentors.
I came home feeling tired physically but refreshed and naurished spiritually.
God has surely widened my horizon, opened my eyes to see things beyond my knowledge, and most importantly, revealed my weaknesses before my own eyes (That's why my mentors rebuked me).
The older I grow (spiritually and physically), the more God reminds me that 'Hey, actually you don't know many things at all, don't be proud.' Therefore I want a new start badly and I know I have already been granted one. I want to start walking this 2nd stage of my journey with humility, not that I have any now, but I wanna learn to embrace it.
Phew... :)
i am back, AGAIN - Holiday part 1
It has really been a long time. This holiday has really been a blessing to me. Now, I finally am in the right mood to say something about it.
________________________________________
TAIPEI:
I had a very bad food poisoning on the 1st day of my arrival in Taipei. You know, food posioning, severe diarrhea+vomiting, I became too dehydrated that I passed out while I was rushing to the toilet. My mom found me lying unconscious on the floor...
So the first few days of my holiday in Taipei was well spent lying in the hotel bed :(
Thank God the recovery was speedy.
________________________________________
HONG KONG:
This was one of the most meaningful trips in this holiday. I insisted of coming to HK for a very special friend ( of course I loved the shopping in HK but he was the reason I visited HK). We were good friends before he left Adelaide. 2 years ago, as an unbeliever, he attended our bible study group in the hostel. I remember he came faithfully every evening and asked a lot of questions abt God. Then he went back to HK for good and we lost contact...
What I did not know was, he eventually experienced God in HK and was baptised a few months ago.
Can you imagine how great my joy was when I heard this from his mouth...I hugged and squeezed him with all my strength.
It is not only the joy of him being a Christian; what makes me tear is the joy of seeing his change from a person burdened by questions, worries and sorrow to someone who rejoices in all circumstances.
I am truly glad for him. He no longer tries to understand and hold everything in his hand, now I see the real joy and relief in his eyes. I am truly glad for him.
On the last day I knew he was tired but we still walked on the streets that were crazily packed with people, took all types of public transport, tried lotsa food and had very very meaningful conversation. I almost wept as we said good bye at the hotel lobby. I really miss you, my very close brother in Christ.
I shall see you again in HK.
________________________________________
TAIPEI:
I had a very bad food poisoning on the 1st day of my arrival in Taipei. You know, food posioning, severe diarrhea+vomiting, I became too dehydrated that I passed out while I was rushing to the toilet. My mom found me lying unconscious on the floor...
So the first few days of my holiday in Taipei was well spent lying in the hotel bed :(
Thank God the recovery was speedy.
________________________________________
HONG KONG:
This was one of the most meaningful trips in this holiday. I insisted of coming to HK for a very special friend ( of course I loved the shopping in HK but he was the reason I visited HK). We were good friends before he left Adelaide. 2 years ago, as an unbeliever, he attended our bible study group in the hostel. I remember he came faithfully every evening and asked a lot of questions abt God. Then he went back to HK for good and we lost contact...
What I did not know was, he eventually experienced God in HK and was baptised a few months ago.
Can you imagine how great my joy was when I heard this from his mouth...I hugged and squeezed him with all my strength.
It is not only the joy of him being a Christian; what makes me tear is the joy of seeing his change from a person burdened by questions, worries and sorrow to someone who rejoices in all circumstances.
I am truly glad for him. He no longer tries to understand and hold everything in his hand, now I see the real joy and relief in his eyes. I am truly glad for him.
On the last day I knew he was tired but we still walked on the streets that were crazily packed with people, took all types of public transport, tried lotsa food and had very very meaningful conversation. I almost wept as we said good bye at the hotel lobby. I really miss you, my very close brother in Christ.
I shall see you again in HK.
Monday, November 13, 2006
i m back
finally! i am back in kl...it has really been a crazy week.
this was my shcedule: adelaide -> KL (stopped for 1 night) -> taipei (a few days) --> HK (a few days) --> KL.. in a few days i will be going to singapore.
i just got back home, quite disorientated.
phew, have not been using the internet for days. finally got my fingers on the keyboard again.
will be blogging very soon :) lemme rest now.
this was my shcedule: adelaide -> KL (stopped for 1 night) -> taipei (a few days) --> HK (a few days) --> KL.. in a few days i will be going to singapore.
i just got back home, quite disorientated.
phew, have not been using the internet for days. finally got my fingers on the keyboard again.
will be blogging very soon :) lemme rest now.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
My week (2)- my response
This is written in response to what has recently happened to my blog. It has suddenly become alive again :)
Thanks to those who defended the gospel and me. Thanks to G, Sher and Tan who stood up for me (and of course, stood up for Jesus). I felt very blessed and touched that someone actually defended both the gospel and me myself.
I love you all :)
As for Night Sky, I thank God because He heard my prayer for you:) I've seen the change of your attitude towards me, and that encouraged me a lot. I was happier than anyone that day as I read your comments on another post. Infact, I have left a personal note for u there, just wonder if you saw it.
Now re: 1) should I or should I not express my thoughts/emotion on my blog, and 2) 'is the bible valid and have we as believers really met Jesus', from a friend's point of view, I do not intend to argue with you (because you have become my friend).
But from a true believer's point of view, I feel compelled to say that I can't (and in fact no human can) provide any evidence that will make the whole world believe in Jesus. No matter how articulate I or G or Sher or Tan could be, we would never convince a heart that does not believe unless he/she really does wanna believe.
Faith and evidence have never been in agreement.
I like one of the AW Tozer's sermons.
' The witness of the church is most effective when she declares rather than explains, for the gospel is addressed not to reason but to faith. What can be proved requires no faith to accept. Faith rests upon the character of God, not upon the demonstrations of laboratory or logic. '
Night Sky, I would love to keep in touch with you. Do let this friendship to continue , please:)
Thanks to those who defended the gospel and me. Thanks to G, Sher and Tan who stood up for me (and of course, stood up for Jesus). I felt very blessed and touched that someone actually defended both the gospel and me myself.
I love you all :)
As for Night Sky, I thank God because He heard my prayer for you:) I've seen the change of your attitude towards me, and that encouraged me a lot. I was happier than anyone that day as I read your comments on another post. Infact, I have left a personal note for u there, just wonder if you saw it.
Now re: 1) should I or should I not express my thoughts/emotion on my blog, and 2) 'is the bible valid and have we as believers really met Jesus', from a friend's point of view, I do not intend to argue with you (because you have become my friend).
But from a true believer's point of view, I feel compelled to say that I can't (and in fact no human can) provide any evidence that will make the whole world believe in Jesus. No matter how articulate I or G or Sher or Tan could be, we would never convince a heart that does not believe unless he/she really does wanna believe.
Faith and evidence have never been in agreement.
I like one of the AW Tozer's sermons.
' The witness of the church is most effective when she declares rather than explains, for the gospel is addressed not to reason but to faith. What can be proved requires no faith to accept. Faith rests upon the character of God, not upon the demonstrations of laboratory or logic. '
Night Sky, I would love to keep in touch with you. Do let this friendship to continue , please:)
My week (1)
I had some challenges in the past one week, one of them was the hospital work which I was obviously not being used to, it indeed demands a lot of physical energy and stability. I am sure in coming days I will get used to it.
And because I was constantly tired, spending time with God has become a challenge to me. I failed to wake up early as usual to pray, and I fell asleep as I studied the Word. I was determined to pray during my 45 mins of driving back and forth the hospital (45mins x 2 ways) but I only found myself dozing off a few times while driving...There were times I had to scream to wake myself up.
Today I took a day off work and spent the whole afternoon by myself in my favourite cafe. I felt so spoilt when I sat at a quiet corner, sipping my favourite Mocha and reading my favourite book. I used to do this once a week before I became busy in OCF.
When I became still, I began to hear God's whisper again. It was like a fresh spring that drains my dry heart, splsssssshhhhhhhhh....I am very very thirsty for God to reveal as much to me as He used to do. Perhaps I should also say, God constantly reveals to me, but I've not been receiving as much as I used to because of my blocked mental state :)
And because I was constantly tired, spending time with God has become a challenge to me. I failed to wake up early as usual to pray, and I fell asleep as I studied the Word. I was determined to pray during my 45 mins of driving back and forth the hospital (45mins x 2 ways) but I only found myself dozing off a few times while driving...There were times I had to scream to wake myself up.
Today I took a day off work and spent the whole afternoon by myself in my favourite cafe. I felt so spoilt when I sat at a quiet corner, sipping my favourite Mocha and reading my favourite book. I used to do this once a week before I became busy in OCF.
When I became still, I began to hear God's whisper again. It was like a fresh spring that drains my dry heart, splsssssshhhhhhhhh....I am very very thirsty for God to reveal as much to me as He used to do. Perhaps I should also say, God constantly reveals to me, but I've not been receiving as much as I used to because of my blocked mental state :)
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
1000 X things
I am very busy. Hospital work, packing, catching up with friends whom I am afraid I won't see anymore, arranging visa application, some OCF stuff...etcetc.
I have a lot to say here but probably I don't have the time yet.
10 more days of life as a medical student. This identity as a medical student has been with me for 6 years ; in another word, I have lived a 1/4 of my life as a medical student. Now that I will no longer be a medical student, it feels very weird.
I am currently physically drained.
***
Another thing, to the anonymous person who left hostile comments on my blog, I must say this:
In my limited wisdom and opinion, I think it is an act of pure cowardice that you did not put down your real name when you left comments like that. To be honest, I would call it bold and admire you if you confronted me in person. Next time when you wanna do it again, plz think twice, 'has Wong Siew Wai ever used foul language to accuse people of other religions?' If you find no fault in me, plz do to others what you want them to do to you. The word 'Biatch' is not a usual way of greeting. That's basic morality.
Thanks.
I have a lot to say here but probably I don't have the time yet.
10 more days of life as a medical student. This identity as a medical student has been with me for 6 years ; in another word, I have lived a 1/4 of my life as a medical student. Now that I will no longer be a medical student, it feels very weird.
I am currently physically drained.
***
Another thing, to the anonymous person who left hostile comments on my blog, I must say this:
In my limited wisdom and opinion, I think it is an act of pure cowardice that you did not put down your real name when you left comments like that. To be honest, I would call it bold and admire you if you confronted me in person. Next time when you wanna do it again, plz think twice, 'has Wong Siew Wai ever used foul language to accuse people of other religions?' If you find no fault in me, plz do to others what you want them to do to you. The word 'Biatch' is not a usual way of greeting. That's basic morality.
Thanks.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
miss my committee
I am organising a farewell dinner for ah Qi(one of my ex committee members). As I smsed my ex committee about this , the emotion started to come to the surface. I have never missed them like this. I began to tear as I recall those Saturday's meetings for the past one year. I thought I would be cool about it but I really miss them now.
I truly love the 8 of you. Will buy a lot of prawns and cook a big feast for you all. Lemme pamper you all for the last time. Chris said jokingly that even he had never had this kind of special treatment..
I truly love the 8 of you. Will buy a lot of prawns and cook a big feast for you all. Lemme pamper you all for the last time. Chris said jokingly that even he had never had this kind of special treatment..
vision.victory
I thank God that I always see visions and have revelations from God. One of my friends does not agree that we should always say 'God said to me/God shown me...'
I do agree about it to a certain extent, yet on the other hand I am convicted that there is nothing wrong about believing that God speaks to us, and esp when wewalk closely with God, it is nearly impossible that God won't speak to us or show us vision.
From my past experience, I've recognised the way and pattern God usually speaks to me.
Today I saw another vision as I was praying in church. I was an athlete, there was a torch with burning flame in my right hand. I was running a journey where there were a lot of huge obstacles in my way. I did not care but holding up the torch and running. The road was dark but the torch gave light. Finally I ran past all the obstacles and reached a space where there was a lot of thorn bush forming a circle around me. I held up the torch, with full confidence burned the thorn with that fire. The fire consumed all those obstacles and bush. I was satisfied and my face was decorated with a victorous smile...
In my life (in fact in everyone's life) there are a lot of obstacles and thorns that come in my ways. Throughout this week I had a major temptation and I knew for sure it was from the devil. I felt I was fighting very hard and almost defeated.
I am glad in the midst of this God gave me this vision. He is my lamp and my light. I know God has delivered me out of it and I am victorous.
I do agree about it to a certain extent, yet on the other hand I am convicted that there is nothing wrong about believing that God speaks to us, and esp when wewalk closely with God, it is nearly impossible that God won't speak to us or show us vision.
From my past experience, I've recognised the way and pattern God usually speaks to me.
Today I saw another vision as I was praying in church. I was an athlete, there was a torch with burning flame in my right hand. I was running a journey where there were a lot of huge obstacles in my way. I did not care but holding up the torch and running. The road was dark but the torch gave light. Finally I ran past all the obstacles and reached a space where there was a lot of thorn bush forming a circle around me. I held up the torch, with full confidence burned the thorn with that fire. The fire consumed all those obstacles and bush. I was satisfied and my face was decorated with a victorous smile...
In my life (in fact in everyone's life) there are a lot of obstacles and thorns that come in my ways. Throughout this week I had a major temptation and I knew for sure it was from the devil. I felt I was fighting very hard and almost defeated.
I am glad in the midst of this God gave me this vision. He is my lamp and my light. I know God has delivered me out of it and I am victorous.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Hallelujah!
Joanne (my supervisor) wanted to take the afternoon off. She passed me her pager and made me take charge of the patients. Man, I was anxious yet excited. For the first time I as a medical student could truly work like an intern.
It was a busy afternoon; I was paged here and there to see patients. And I really did everything with all my heart and I felt satisfied because finally I was really contributing to the patients.
The last patient I saw was an old man, very sick…
Old man : Will I die?
SW (smiled) : Why did you ask that?
Old man (smiled) : I want to leave this life.
SW : Have you believed that Jesus is your Lord and Saviour?
Old man shook his head.
SW : Then do you want to do that?
Old man smiled and nodded.
SW : Say this prayer after me and believe in your heart.
SW : Father, thank You for sending Jesus Your Son…
Old man : Father, thank You for sending …(started mumbling, I was
afraid he might die before finishing it)
SW : ...sending Jesus…
Old man finally finished the prayer.
I was very very very happy. I just kept smiling at him. At the end I grabbed his hand and put it on my cheek and said I loved him. He smiled and said I was like his daughter-in-law, who was a good Christian, and a lovely girl.
I rushed to the hospital chapel and grabbed him a gospel tract. He received it like a precious gift, he hid it near his heart, underneath his hospital gown.
At the end of today I was almost dancing in the corridor. I bumped into another Christian doc whom I hardly talked to; I couldn’t contain my joy but just pulled his sleeve and told him ‘I just led that patient to Christ!’
He was shocked, ‘so quick??!’
Yea, so quick! If we let the Spirit lead us in everything, when the time comes, it just happens within a split second.
Tmrw I am gonna pray for healing for him :)
I almost wanna cry. It is so fulfilling, so humbling! I am in such a privileged position in terms of serving God. I wanna lead as many patients to Christ as God wants me to. I love to be a doc.
It was a busy afternoon; I was paged here and there to see patients. And I really did everything with all my heart and I felt satisfied because finally I was really contributing to the patients.
The last patient I saw was an old man, very sick…
Old man : Will I die?
SW (smiled) : Why did you ask that?
Old man (smiled) : I want to leave this life.
SW : Have you believed that Jesus is your Lord and Saviour?
Old man shook his head.
SW : Then do you want to do that?
Old man smiled and nodded.
SW : Say this prayer after me and believe in your heart.
SW : Father, thank You for sending Jesus Your Son…
Old man : Father, thank You for sending …(started mumbling, I was
afraid he might die before finishing it)
SW : ...sending Jesus…
Old man finally finished the prayer.
I was very very very happy. I just kept smiling at him. At the end I grabbed his hand and put it on my cheek and said I loved him. He smiled and said I was like his daughter-in-law, who was a good Christian, and a lovely girl.
I rushed to the hospital chapel and grabbed him a gospel tract. He received it like a precious gift, he hid it near his heart, underneath his hospital gown.
At the end of today I was almost dancing in the corridor. I bumped into another Christian doc whom I hardly talked to; I couldn’t contain my joy but just pulled his sleeve and told him ‘I just led that patient to Christ!’
He was shocked, ‘so quick??!’
Yea, so quick! If we let the Spirit lead us in everything, when the time comes, it just happens within a split second.
Tmrw I am gonna pray for healing for him :)
I almost wanna cry. It is so fulfilling, so humbling! I am in such a privileged position in terms of serving God. I wanna lead as many patients to Christ as God wants me to. I love to be a doc.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
i dunno what to write...
therefore, i am gonna simply scribble a few things that have been happening in the last 1 week.
-I have decided to give GP training a serious consideration. Of course i don't have to make any decision now because I still have 2 more years before i can go into any vocational training. who knows, if it is really God's calling for me to be a GP then He will make it become my desire sooner or later...wait and see...but...still very hard to imagine wong siew wai sitting in the same GP office the whole day for years and years...
- God MIGHT have given me the gift of celibacy. I said 'MIGHT have' ,it means yet to be confirmed, i dunno whether it is really from God or what. In my human understanding, if I am gonna do all those things that God has called me to, I really can't see how I can ever be in a marriage. I dunno...lets see.
- Recently I've been trying to re-establish friendships with my non-Christian friends. I've given up all my time for OCF in the past one year. To be the salt of the world I really need to be more active in reaching out to my friends.
- Therefore I went to a doctors' ball last week, and joined some dinner outings with friends...wearing the very gorgeous evening dress sitting there socialising with my 'new' friends made me feel it was so not me, I recall the old siew wai liked this kind of events. I don't like it now. But I do know I have to hang out more with them instead of my Christian friends alone.
- I am back to Lyell McEwin Hospital for my final rotation before graduation. I am gonna work here next year. So funny, now I hang around the hospital with the medical student tag, in only 2 months I will walk down the same corridor wearing Dr. Wong Siew Wai's name tag. Too hard for me to imagine now.
- I am enjoying this rotation because I am in Joanne's team. She left OCF before I came, I have heard a lot about her but had no opportunity to know her well. God put two of us together now, we basically will see each other from A.M to P.M, Monday to Friday for 4 weeks. We have coffee and lunch together everyday. What an experience to be able to talk about God at work! I feel refreshed everyday. and SHE IS NOT AS BOSSY AS MOST PPL THINK ! hehe
- and finally, yeah i really look forward to going home!!!!!!!! yay yay :D
mom is quite desperate that she wanted me to hop onto the plane right after I finish my last day in the hospital. I guess I'll go extra mile for her, I won't even go to the hospital on the last day hehe...I wanna see my family desperately, and it justifies my behaviour :)
-I have decided to give GP training a serious consideration. Of course i don't have to make any decision now because I still have 2 more years before i can go into any vocational training. who knows, if it is really God's calling for me to be a GP then He will make it become my desire sooner or later...wait and see...but...still very hard to imagine wong siew wai sitting in the same GP office the whole day for years and years...
- God MIGHT have given me the gift of celibacy. I said 'MIGHT have' ,it means yet to be confirmed, i dunno whether it is really from God or what. In my human understanding, if I am gonna do all those things that God has called me to, I really can't see how I can ever be in a marriage. I dunno...lets see.
- Recently I've been trying to re-establish friendships with my non-Christian friends. I've given up all my time for OCF in the past one year. To be the salt of the world I really need to be more active in reaching out to my friends.
- Therefore I went to a doctors' ball last week, and joined some dinner outings with friends...wearing the very gorgeous evening dress sitting there socialising with my 'new' friends made me feel it was so not me, I recall the old siew wai liked this kind of events. I don't like it now. But I do know I have to hang out more with them instead of my Christian friends alone.
- I am back to Lyell McEwin Hospital for my final rotation before graduation. I am gonna work here next year. So funny, now I hang around the hospital with the medical student tag, in only 2 months I will walk down the same corridor wearing Dr. Wong Siew Wai's name tag. Too hard for me to imagine now.
- I am enjoying this rotation because I am in Joanne's team. She left OCF before I came, I have heard a lot about her but had no opportunity to know her well. God put two of us together now, we basically will see each other from A.M to P.M, Monday to Friday for 4 weeks. We have coffee and lunch together everyday. What an experience to be able to talk about God at work! I feel refreshed everyday. and SHE IS NOT AS BOSSY AS MOST PPL THINK ! hehe
- and finally, yeah i really look forward to going home!!!!!!!! yay yay :D
mom is quite desperate that she wanted me to hop onto the plane right after I finish my last day in the hospital. I guess I'll go extra mile for her, I won't even go to the hospital on the last day hehe...I wanna see my family desperately, and it justifies my behaviour :)
Friday, October 06, 2006
conflict management MCQ
What is the best way to handle a conflict?
a) just keep everything to yourself and try to resolve it within yourself
b) tell a few close friends and seek advice
c) gang up with your friends and act against that person
d) sort it out with that person
e) none of above
In my own opinion, and also based on my own experience, i think the answer is really none of the above.
I had a conflict with a very close friend just recently. It was a horrible blow to me. My friend questioned my integrity based on that misunderstanding. No one in my life has ever questioned this part of my personality but this time I have met one.
What's the solution? I could not choose any answer from the MCQ above. Why?
If I chose a), the conflict has not been resolved. I only swallowed the problem and it would turn bitter in my belly and eat me away bit by bit. I would end up being self righteous, thinking I have done my friend a favor by 'forgiving' her on my side.
If I chose b), my friends would surely tell me to either 'tolerate/ignore her' or 'deal with her'. Not clever.
I would never choose c). If the story came out of my mouth it surely was twisted by my own opinion and emotion. What's the benefit of persuading people to stand by me based on my version of story? She would hate me more.
d) sounds very sensible but I would not do that. I am too shy to do it hehehe..
nawww..I don't trust the word that come out of my mouth when I am in anger; likewise her anger would have blocked her ears and mind.
I chose to pray. Not prayed for God to 'make her apologise to me', but prayed for God to forgive me first if I wronged against her, that I can continue to love her, that we will be united in love to serve Him together etc..
I tell you, God is really amazing. I did not say anything, neither did I do anything. I just prayed. Then just an hour ago, she apologised to me, and said God had convicted her about her mistake. We both felt our friendship grew stronger after this.
Praise God=)
Why look horizontally when we can actually look vertically upward for help? When we are at peace with God, He makes all our enemies at peace with us. We don't have to force it out, God Himself changes them and turns their hearts to us, isn't amazing? Praise Him :)
a) just keep everything to yourself and try to resolve it within yourself
b) tell a few close friends and seek advice
c) gang up with your friends and act against that person
d) sort it out with that person
e) none of above
In my own opinion, and also based on my own experience, i think the answer is really none of the above.
I had a conflict with a very close friend just recently. It was a horrible blow to me. My friend questioned my integrity based on that misunderstanding. No one in my life has ever questioned this part of my personality but this time I have met one.
What's the solution? I could not choose any answer from the MCQ above. Why?
If I chose a), the conflict has not been resolved. I only swallowed the problem and it would turn bitter in my belly and eat me away bit by bit. I would end up being self righteous, thinking I have done my friend a favor by 'forgiving' her on my side.
If I chose b), my friends would surely tell me to either 'tolerate/ignore her' or 'deal with her'. Not clever.
I would never choose c). If the story came out of my mouth it surely was twisted by my own opinion and emotion. What's the benefit of persuading people to stand by me based on my version of story? She would hate me more.
d) sounds very sensible but I would not do that. I am too shy to do it hehehe..
nawww..I don't trust the word that come out of my mouth when I am in anger; likewise her anger would have blocked her ears and mind.
I chose to pray. Not prayed for God to 'make her apologise to me', but prayed for God to forgive me first if I wronged against her, that I can continue to love her, that we will be united in love to serve Him together etc..
I tell you, God is really amazing. I did not say anything, neither did I do anything. I just prayed. Then just an hour ago, she apologised to me, and said God had convicted her about her mistake. We both felt our friendship grew stronger after this.
Praise God=)
Why look horizontally when we can actually look vertically upward for help? When we are at peace with God, He makes all our enemies at peace with us. We don't have to force it out, God Himself changes them and turns their hearts to us, isn't amazing? Praise Him :)
Monday, October 02, 2006
Pastor Victor and Kelly
I am very proud of them. My Christian life has never been the same since God put me in that church back in Malaysia. (hehe I should say 'my LIFE has never been the same' because I accepted Christ in that church and Ps Vic was my first pastor.)
I just realised my leadership style is very very much like Ps Vic's. He is a real man of God, he loves, he encourages, he pours out his heart, he sacrifices his own needs...he will do all this for people. I never knew how much I was influenced by him until I started leading. Every now and then the memory of him serving us day and night will strike my mind and that keeps me motivated.
We talked on MSN yesterday. This was what he wrote, he made me wanna praise God.
Pastor Victor and Kelly, this post is specially for you.
If you ever feel weary of discipling anyone, remember me as the fruit of your work and be encouraged. You don't know how just by observing you has inspired me and changed my life. If I ever stand on the pulpit, I will surely give thanks to God for sending me to you and will mention how upright you are as my leader. You are once my pastor, forever my pastor. I love you both:)
I just realised my leadership style is very very much like Ps Vic's. He is a real man of God, he loves, he encourages, he pours out his heart, he sacrifices his own needs...he will do all this for people. I never knew how much I was influenced by him until I started leading. Every now and then the memory of him serving us day and night will strike my mind and that keeps me motivated.
We talked on MSN yesterday. This was what he wrote, he made me wanna praise God.
Pastor Victor and Kelly, this post is specially for you.
If you ever feel weary of discipling anyone, remember me as the fruit of your work and be encouraged. You don't know how just by observing you has inspired me and changed my life. If I ever stand on the pulpit, I will surely give thanks to God for sending me to you and will mention how upright you are as my leader. You are once my pastor, forever my pastor. I love you both:)
Sunday, October 01, 2006
surrender
I want so much to be a missionary to countries/tribes where gospel is not heard and medical care is inaccessible. I have always been wanting to specialise in O&G (obstetric and gynaecology), a specialised wing of medicine that takes care of women's health,pregnancies and deliveries. My burden is for women who are deprived of care due to restriction of freedom and low social status. As a female doctor, i thought it will be good to serve them this way.
However I guess that might not be God's will for me. He has given me many many signs and hints through different people.
To me, it is rather sad and disappointing to find out that real mission fields don't need a highly specialised O&G doctor. They need a GP, a general doctor who can treat all kinds of basic diseases. A population that has no access to primary health care will never need a specialist who can only treat a certain type of problems. O&G training is long and hard, it is not practical if I ultimately become a missionary.
It is truly a huge challenge to me. I have never ever thought of being a GP in my entire life. If you ask me, even until now, that would be the last thing I ever wanna do in the medical field.
Being a GP in mission field is excellent and sounds exciting, but I can't bear the training process which requires me to sit in a small room the whole day and have patients coming in and out. They will bring their spouse, or the entire family to see you, and tell you about the family story of 3 generations.
My friend Ming once told me about the life of a great korean theologian/minister who completed his PhD in some very difficult science subject 60 years ago in a very prestigous university (either Cambridge/Oxford/MIT).On his way back to Korea after completion of PhD, God told him to throw his certificate into the sea and forget about his entire life of studies. Bear in mind that he was a Korean back in those days who completed such a tough course in such a prestigous institute.
Nonetheless he obeyed. God used him mightily after that to bring countless of people to Christ.
To do God's will mean I have to deny my own desire. Would I be able to do that? I just have to surrender and trust in Him.
However I guess that might not be God's will for me. He has given me many many signs and hints through different people.
To me, it is rather sad and disappointing to find out that real mission fields don't need a highly specialised O&G doctor. They need a GP, a general doctor who can treat all kinds of basic diseases. A population that has no access to primary health care will never need a specialist who can only treat a certain type of problems. O&G training is long and hard, it is not practical if I ultimately become a missionary.
It is truly a huge challenge to me. I have never ever thought of being a GP in my entire life. If you ask me, even until now, that would be the last thing I ever wanna do in the medical field.
Being a GP in mission field is excellent and sounds exciting, but I can't bear the training process which requires me to sit in a small room the whole day and have patients coming in and out. They will bring their spouse, or the entire family to see you, and tell you about the family story of 3 generations.
The training process is the shortest and easiest, and GPs make good income compared to most specialists. But I just hate it.
I dunno, I just hate being a GP.
I was crying very sadly when I found out I might end up being a GP. Then God asked me, 'Why do u wanna be an O&G specialist? Is that really for ME? or to satisfy your sense of achievement/social status etc? 'My friend Ming once told me about the life of a great korean theologian/minister who completed his PhD in some very difficult science subject 60 years ago in a very prestigous university (either Cambridge/Oxford/MIT).On his way back to Korea after completion of PhD, God told him to throw his certificate into the sea and forget about his entire life of studies. Bear in mind that he was a Korean back in those days who completed such a tough course in such a prestigous institute.
Nonetheless he obeyed. God used him mightily after that to bring countless of people to Christ.
To do God's will mean I have to deny my own desire. Would I be able to do that? I just have to surrender and trust in Him.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
a quote
I am currently reading the collection of AW Tozer's sermons.
Came across this chapter.
' Anyone who wishes to check on his true spiritual condition may do so by noting what his voluntary thoughts have been over the last hours or days. What has he thought about when free to think of what he pleased?'
I especially like this sentence that he said:
' When the bird of thought was let go, did it fly out like the raven to settle upon floating carcasses or did it like the dove circle and return again to the ark of God?'
Hmm..what I thought just hours ago was about shopping and buying new clothes.
What were u thinking hours/days ago?
Came across this chapter.
' Anyone who wishes to check on his true spiritual condition may do so by noting what his voluntary thoughts have been over the last hours or days. What has he thought about when free to think of what he pleased?'
I especially like this sentence that he said:
' When the bird of thought was let go, did it fly out like the raven to settle upon floating carcasses or did it like the dove circle and return again to the ark of God?'
Hmm..what I thought just hours ago was about shopping and buying new clothes.
What were u thinking hours/days ago?
Monday, September 25, 2006
growing up
I think I am currently in the transition period where God is moulding my character. Being the chair person I learned to trust in God and stand firm against any persecutions. But being a newly stepped-down ex-chair person I feel it is a totally new story about learning about God and myself.
A friend asked 'How can you always be running strong in your walk with God? Don't you have times when you are low?'
Of course I do have. But what is the benefit of always complaining and dwelling in the negative emotions and allow that to eat you away bit by bit? I'd rather fight against the devil and my own sinful nature when I am low, I hate to dwell in the pit and pity myself. How can you lead and exhort others if you don't stand strong? That's what I've learned while I was the chair person, to run back to God within the split second, so quickly that as if nothing had happened.
A preacher said,'It is ok to fall asleep, but morning always comes after midnight. Do you get up early or still stay in bed?', this has become my principle.
A few ppl asked ,'Don't you feel lost because now the power and authority is no longer in your hand?' ...That's a very foolish question to begin with. It sounded like satan when he asked Eve 'Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?'
It takes humility to fade off and let the new generation move on, and to see them demolish or modify the work that I have done. Sometimes I feel bitter,but I know it is for the building of God's kingdom.
Therefore I said this has been another season of my life where God continues to reveal my ugliness and mould my character. Everyday He passes me an oversized mirror , and guess what, His mirror is the truth-exposing mirror, nothing can hide from it. Sometimes I see spinach between my teeth even after I brush them, sometimes I see new pimple (just an illustration).
A friend asked 'How can you always be running strong in your walk with God? Don't you have times when you are low?'
Of course I do have. But what is the benefit of always complaining and dwelling in the negative emotions and allow that to eat you away bit by bit? I'd rather fight against the devil and my own sinful nature when I am low, I hate to dwell in the pit and pity myself. How can you lead and exhort others if you don't stand strong? That's what I've learned while I was the chair person, to run back to God within the split second, so quickly that as if nothing had happened.
A preacher said,'It is ok to fall asleep, but morning always comes after midnight. Do you get up early or still stay in bed?', this has become my principle.
A few ppl asked ,'Don't you feel lost because now the power and authority is no longer in your hand?' ...That's a very foolish question to begin with. It sounded like satan when he asked Eve 'Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?'
It takes humility to fade off and let the new generation move on, and to see them demolish or modify the work that I have done. Sometimes I feel bitter,but I know it is for the building of God's kingdom.
Therefore I said this has been another season of my life where God continues to reveal my ugliness and mould my character. Everyday He passes me an oversized mirror , and guess what, His mirror is the truth-exposing mirror, nothing can hide from it. Sometimes I see spinach between my teeth even after I brush them, sometimes I see new pimple (just an illustration).
Who will like to see the real self being exposed? If this magic mirror was hung in the boutique, all men and women would not dare to look into it nor walk pass it.
I like this season, I like this mirror because it does more than just exposing my true self, most importantly it is therapeutic.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
some updates...
It has been a long time...phew, the busiest week has passed.
FINALLY I have stepped down! I am no longer the chairperson. This month has been an emotional period, as I reflected on the past 1 year, I was reminded how faithful God has been to OCF and myself.
OCF was left with 30-40 ppl when I first took chair. The atmosphere was dry, every Friday night when the worship team were in front, the hall was only 20% filled. Can't remember how many times I was on my knees crying to God, asking Him to show me a way to revive OCF.
He is surely faithful. OCF exploded with growth both spiritually and physically. Now we have average attendance of 80 ppl every Friday. Each bible study group goes well, the atmosphere is just different.
..........when I recall, I can only smile now. God has surely given me a new heart, I don't remember the pain and sufferings, the exhaustion of my body and sometimes my spirit. All I remember is the faithfulness of God and the joy of serving Him.
*****
AGM went well. I led worship with my whole committee. Seeing the new president and her committee took over the baton, I was reminded of what happened 1 year ago..wong siew wai took chair, wong siew wai gave a speech and vision for OCF, wong siew wai sang the vision song...wong siew wai stepped up with a prideful and vulnerable heart; 1 year later wong siew wai stepped down with a contrite and strong heart, knowing humility is the key of every servant of Christ; the heart was scarred,renewed and trained.
*****
Though with a lot of spiritual attacks which led to physical hazards to me myself, Kairos (leadership camp) still went very well.Praise God. The game idea He gave Voon and I was truly a testimony in itself. How could we think of building a Noah's Ark if not God? How could we think of the correlation between the building of the Ark was like building His kingdom? It is only Him.
At the end of the game everyone came up to us and said they had never experienced such thing like this in a game, they have all enjoyed it and the teaching behind it. All said it was very original, we should copy right the game..haha..God's plan is truly original, He is the master mind behind, all glory to Him.
********
The mentally ill Chinese guy whom I mentioned in my blog was sent to another mental hospital. I will visit him there..
*******
Today I woke up, I felt my life is new now. I felt very strange but nice.
Everything has changed, but God is still the same to me. And it doesnt change my identity in His eye.
I love him, and He loves me.
FINALLY I have stepped down! I am no longer the chairperson. This month has been an emotional period, as I reflected on the past 1 year, I was reminded how faithful God has been to OCF and myself.
OCF was left with 30-40 ppl when I first took chair. The atmosphere was dry, every Friday night when the worship team were in front, the hall was only 20% filled. Can't remember how many times I was on my knees crying to God, asking Him to show me a way to revive OCF.
He is surely faithful. OCF exploded with growth both spiritually and physically. Now we have average attendance of 80 ppl every Friday. Each bible study group goes well, the atmosphere is just different.
..........when I recall, I can only smile now. God has surely given me a new heart, I don't remember the pain and sufferings, the exhaustion of my body and sometimes my spirit. All I remember is the faithfulness of God and the joy of serving Him.
*****
AGM went well. I led worship with my whole committee. Seeing the new president and her committee took over the baton, I was reminded of what happened 1 year ago..wong siew wai took chair, wong siew wai gave a speech and vision for OCF, wong siew wai sang the vision song...wong siew wai stepped up with a prideful and vulnerable heart; 1 year later wong siew wai stepped down with a contrite and strong heart, knowing humility is the key of every servant of Christ; the heart was scarred,renewed and trained.
*****
Though with a lot of spiritual attacks which led to physical hazards to me myself, Kairos (leadership camp) still went very well.Praise God. The game idea He gave Voon and I was truly a testimony in itself. How could we think of building a Noah's Ark if not God? How could we think of the correlation between the building of the Ark was like building His kingdom? It is only Him.
At the end of the game everyone came up to us and said they had never experienced such thing like this in a game, they have all enjoyed it and the teaching behind it. All said it was very original, we should copy right the game..haha..God's plan is truly original, He is the master mind behind, all glory to Him.
********
The mentally ill Chinese guy whom I mentioned in my blog was sent to another mental hospital. I will visit him there..
*******
Today I woke up, I felt my life is new now. I felt very strange but nice.
Everything has changed, but God is still the same to me. And it doesnt change my identity in His eye.
I love him, and He loves me.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
powerful testimony
You know what happened 3 hours ago?
All of a sudden my dear sister Ivy Voon had very terrible rash and itchiness all over her body.It was already 2am and we just finished the birthday celebration for my boyfriend, I was dead tired. She requested me to send her to the hospital at 2 am...so we rushed to the hospital ( yes, the one where I worked at just 1 week ago).
My heart was troubled because it was already 2am on Thursday, and I still had so many things that I have not done before AGM on Friday and Kairos on Sat and Sun. I have to prepare for the worship leading, the step down speech, and I am also in charge of a 2hr session in Kairos (the bigger scale leadership seminar) but I have no idea what to teach/do!
I felt that it was a fierce spiritual warfare. Now that we were stuck in the hospital, I couldn't plan the 2hr workshop, and Ivy might not be able to play the piano and lead worship in Kairos due to the sickness.
Then in the hospital we just prayed and prayed and prayed. In my prayer I was reminded that the whole preperation of Kairos was not smooth, a few speakers pulled out and we are still short of one speaker. But all this is the devil's scheme.
A miracle happend after we prayed. Somehow we started to have a lot of fantastic ideas about the workshop. We were so excited and inspired by the Spirit that we managed to work the plan out in just 2 hours! In just 2 hours, in the hospital, with the help of the Spirit, we could do what I could not do in 3 weeks!
What amazed me the most was when we finished planning, Ivy's rash and itchiness disappeared simultaneously! We cancelled our registration and went home.
I felt so strongly the Lord has won the battle for us. What the devil tried to do against us, God turned it around and used it to bless us. God also knew I wouldn't be able to work that by myself at home because I was distracted by other responsibility. It has to be done in the hospital while we were freed from other duties.
The devil's plan: Ivy became sick + I had no time to plan
God's victory: Ivy was healed + we worked a wonderful plan together
Results: God gets the glory through our testimony
Trust me, it will be an awesome workshop, not because of me, but because I know this plan came from God. And God works for the good of all who love Him.
All of a sudden my dear sister Ivy Voon had very terrible rash and itchiness all over her body.It was already 2am and we just finished the birthday celebration for my boyfriend, I was dead tired. She requested me to send her to the hospital at 2 am...so we rushed to the hospital ( yes, the one where I worked at just 1 week ago).
My heart was troubled because it was already 2am on Thursday, and I still had so many things that I have not done before AGM on Friday and Kairos on Sat and Sun. I have to prepare for the worship leading, the step down speech, and I am also in charge of a 2hr session in Kairos (the bigger scale leadership seminar) but I have no idea what to teach/do!
I felt that it was a fierce spiritual warfare. Now that we were stuck in the hospital, I couldn't plan the 2hr workshop, and Ivy might not be able to play the piano and lead worship in Kairos due to the sickness.
Then in the hospital we just prayed and prayed and prayed. In my prayer I was reminded that the whole preperation of Kairos was not smooth, a few speakers pulled out and we are still short of one speaker. But all this is the devil's scheme.
A miracle happend after we prayed. Somehow we started to have a lot of fantastic ideas about the workshop. We were so excited and inspired by the Spirit that we managed to work the plan out in just 2 hours! In just 2 hours, in the hospital, with the help of the Spirit, we could do what I could not do in 3 weeks!
What amazed me the most was when we finished planning, Ivy's rash and itchiness disappeared simultaneously! We cancelled our registration and went home.
I felt so strongly the Lord has won the battle for us. What the devil tried to do against us, God turned it around and used it to bless us. God also knew I wouldn't be able to work that by myself at home because I was distracted by other responsibility. It has to be done in the hospital while we were freed from other duties.
The devil's plan: Ivy became sick + I had no time to plan
God's victory: Ivy was healed + we worked a wonderful plan together
Results: God gets the glory through our testimony
Trust me, it will be an awesome workshop, not because of me, but because I know this plan came from God. And God works for the good of all who love Him.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
slurppp
Ok lemme tell you what has been bugging me recently, in the midst of my crazy schedule, in the midst of the preparation to step down and move on...
' How can I possibly eat all the yummy food in KL while I am back for 1 month?'
I am not kidding! I really have been thinking of this hehe. See, I have been so deprived of nice food for a year, now that I am going back for 1 month, I think I have to plan my meals wisely so that I can eat all the things in 1 month.
Nasi lemak(must be the one in Sri Petaling)
Satay(must be the one on Kesas Highway)
Curry (my mom cooks the best curry, i think hehe)
Wanton noodle (Imbi market)
prawns and crabs
Kong Fu Chow (near Petaling Street has the best kong fu chow in kl)
roti canai
Yong Tofu (Ampang!)
etc etc etc etc etc...
I can't name all! How can I possibly fit all these into my stomach in 1 month?
It is very good that mom bought a treadmill last year, and it is now put in MY ROOM. Yeah my room has become a mini gym. The treadmill is there, dad's tai chi equipments are there, my brother's gym ball and dumbbells are there, and my sister's aerobic stuff are there too.
Mom just called, you know what she did? The durian season has just ended and she has kept some durians in the freezer so that I'll be able to enjoy them when I come back. Very smart and see how much she loves me hehe. Slurppppppppp...KL, I can't wait to come to you!
ok...back to reality. I am gonna eat instant noodles later. Too lazy to cook and sick of aussie style chinese food out there.
' How can I possibly eat all the yummy food in KL while I am back for 1 month?'
I am not kidding! I really have been thinking of this hehe. See, I have been so deprived of nice food for a year, now that I am going back for 1 month, I think I have to plan my meals wisely so that I can eat all the things in 1 month.
Nasi lemak(must be the one in Sri Petaling)
Satay(must be the one on Kesas Highway)
Curry (my mom cooks the best curry, i think hehe)
Wanton noodle (Imbi market)
prawns and crabs
Kong Fu Chow (near Petaling Street has the best kong fu chow in kl)
roti canai
Yong Tofu (Ampang!)
etc etc etc etc etc...
I can't name all! How can I possibly fit all these into my stomach in 1 month?
It is very good that mom bought a treadmill last year, and it is now put in MY ROOM. Yeah my room has become a mini gym. The treadmill is there, dad's tai chi equipments are there, my brother's gym ball and dumbbells are there, and my sister's aerobic stuff are there too.
Mom just called, you know what she did? The durian season has just ended and she has kept some durians in the freezer so that I'll be able to enjoy them when I come back. Very smart and see how much she loves me hehe. Slurppppppppp...KL, I can't wait to come to you!
ok...back to reality. I am gonna eat instant noodles later. Too lazy to cook and sick of aussie style chinese food out there.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
a shocking evening
Hhm, it comes to story telling time again. Really, my life has become God and ministry orientated,and I don't share things between Chris and I because I am shy, and I don't like to tell the bits and pieces about my everyday life...so the next interesting thing to share will be related to my work... :)
Today there came a mentally ill patient to the Emergency Dept. He is an international student from a one of the Chinese speaking countries,studying a master degree in Adelaide Uni. I had particular interest in this patient because he is a Chinese, I thought I could communicate better with him.
He was detained in a special room guarded by 4-5 police officers. Apparently he threatened to kill ppl.
When I interviewed him, he told me in my face he hated all Chinese Malaysians because we spoke very lousy Mandarin. Because he was mentally ill I just let him say whatever he liked. But it was very hard not to take it personally..hmm
Later a lot of people came to talk to him, a lot of security guards and police were standing outside. He lost his control, started to punch the wall and his hand bled. He dropped on the floor and cried out in tears. He kept shouting he was just a student, not a criminal, he wanted to go back home etc etc
From the limited information that I managed to get from him,I gathered that he came from a broken family. He was a law student in a famous university but quit because of his mental illness.
What shocked me the most was when I found out his brother owns a very famous and successful franchise in Adelaide. Almost all Chinese students in Adelaide know this franchise.
Then I recalled I have seen his face just one month ago, in the shop, taking my order at the counter and handing me my order. He was joking and smiling at me in the shop.
It cut me deeply in my heart and I almost cried when he cried. A Chinese student with mental disorder, lives alone in a foreign country, speaks a different language, despised by everyone because of his mental illness, and now hurting himself.
I went to eat, I went to gym,I took the bus, I walked...but wherever I went, in my mind I could not get rid of the smiling face behind the counter, his smile was like sun shine, he handed me my order, he collected the money. He said goodbye and asked me to come again. The same person.
If only he grew up in a complete and healthy family, if only he knew God loves him. He was surrounded by so many people, if only I had the courage to pray with him and tell him about Jesus in the midst of doctors, nurses, police officers and other patients.
There is a 2nd chance, the doctors have decided to detain him in the hospital. Tomorrow I will visit him in the mental ward. I will try to tell him about Jesus.
Today there came a mentally ill patient to the Emergency Dept. He is an international student from a one of the Chinese speaking countries,studying a master degree in Adelaide Uni. I had particular interest in this patient because he is a Chinese, I thought I could communicate better with him.
He was detained in a special room guarded by 4-5 police officers. Apparently he threatened to kill ppl.
When I interviewed him, he told me in my face he hated all Chinese Malaysians because we spoke very lousy Mandarin. Because he was mentally ill I just let him say whatever he liked. But it was very hard not to take it personally..hmm
Later a lot of people came to talk to him, a lot of security guards and police were standing outside. He lost his control, started to punch the wall and his hand bled. He dropped on the floor and cried out in tears. He kept shouting he was just a student, not a criminal, he wanted to go back home etc etc
From the limited information that I managed to get from him,I gathered that he came from a broken family. He was a law student in a famous university but quit because of his mental illness.
What shocked me the most was when I found out his brother owns a very famous and successful franchise in Adelaide. Almost all Chinese students in Adelaide know this franchise.
Then I recalled I have seen his face just one month ago, in the shop, taking my order at the counter and handing me my order. He was joking and smiling at me in the shop.
It cut me deeply in my heart and I almost cried when he cried. A Chinese student with mental disorder, lives alone in a foreign country, speaks a different language, despised by everyone because of his mental illness, and now hurting himself.
I went to eat, I went to gym,I took the bus, I walked...but wherever I went, in my mind I could not get rid of the smiling face behind the counter, his smile was like sun shine, he handed me my order, he collected the money. He said goodbye and asked me to come again. The same person.
If only he grew up in a complete and healthy family, if only he knew God loves him. He was surrounded by so many people, if only I had the courage to pray with him and tell him about Jesus in the midst of doctors, nurses, police officers and other patients.
There is a 2nd chance, the doctors have decided to detain him in the hospital. Tomorrow I will visit him in the mental ward. I will try to tell him about Jesus.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
conversation with God
It was just God and I. As usual, we had an interesting conversation.
"So, Father, I have done my job, after 1 yr of leading OCF, have I been good and faithful?"
I felt God was smiling, then He said, "Yes, good and faithful servant."
Then I became very relieved, I thought in my heart, " yea, I have served God."
Then God immediately said," You think you have served me? Hehe, not quite, Siew Wai, on the contrary, I was doing you a favour; you didn't help me, but I helped you."
"Huh!???What did You mean, Father? "
" I put you in this position, a year and a chance to discover ME, to learn to trust in ME, and to know who you really are. Infact the very essence of being a believer is to know ME."
Immediately I was awestruck, I melted in my heart. What can I say? He must be laughing, like a father laughing at his little child who thinks he is clever by learning 1+1=2 in the kindergarten.
Truly, after 1 year of leading and serving, I got to know Him better, and He reflects who I am, how broken, how ugly, how sinful I am; He crushed my pride, He struck my knees so that I would lower myself, and acknowledge my weakness, so that He may display His lavish grace.
Truly, I did not offer Him any service, but He offered me a chance to know Him and know myself.
With this conviction, all the hard work and sufferings in the past has been wiped off. All I remember now is the joy and the gain. The joy is,I have known Him more; the gain is, I have learned the significance of humility.
Lower me, so that You will be exalted; I decrease so that You may increase.
"So, Father, I have done my job, after 1 yr of leading OCF, have I been good and faithful?"
I felt God was smiling, then He said, "Yes, good and faithful servant."
Then I became very relieved, I thought in my heart, " yea, I have served God."
Then God immediately said," You think you have served me? Hehe, not quite, Siew Wai, on the contrary, I was doing you a favour; you didn't help me, but I helped you."
"Huh!???What did You mean, Father? "
" I put you in this position, a year and a chance to discover ME, to learn to trust in ME, and to know who you really are. Infact the very essence of being a believer is to know ME."
Immediately I was awestruck, I melted in my heart. What can I say? He must be laughing, like a father laughing at his little child who thinks he is clever by learning 1+1=2 in the kindergarten.
Truly, after 1 year of leading and serving, I got to know Him better, and He reflects who I am, how broken, how ugly, how sinful I am; He crushed my pride, He struck my knees so that I would lower myself, and acknowledge my weakness, so that He may display His lavish grace.
Truly, I did not offer Him any service, but He offered me a chance to know Him and know myself.
With this conviction, all the hard work and sufferings in the past has been wiped off. All I remember now is the joy and the gain. The joy is,I have known Him more; the gain is, I have learned the significance of humility.
Lower me, so that You will be exalted; I decrease so that You may increase.
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