As I was driving...

God basically speaks to us and teaches us all the time, if we open our ears we will hear it clearly.

Just last Tuesday I had a meeting with a couple who live somewhere down south. The hospital that I work in is far north, therefore going to their house means I gotta travel from north to south.

So I drove for almost one hour to get there after my work. I remember it was a cold rainy night. I was extremely tired and hungry that night, and having been in a very tough and challenging season in my personal life did not help at all. Worst still, being unfamiliar with the southern suburbs and going on the wrong roads,I was completely lost in my way . I gotta pull over many times to search in the directory. Not to mention I was definitely late for the meeting.

Finally I went on the right highway which was pitch dark and curvy. I began to break down in tears and told God I could not take it anymore. My life, my season, my struggles, my circumstances, my weariness have worn me out. And man,I was physically exhausted and hungry, out there it was dark, cold and raining, I had no idea where I was going, not even sure if that was the right highway. Tears were rolling down my cheeks.

At that point God taught me a very precious and practical lesson.

I remember on that highway, even though there were no lamp posts at the road side nor was there any other vehicles at all , there were numerous small metal plates nailed to the road between lanes. These metal plates reflected the light of my car and made the small stretch of road that was 5 metres ahead of me brightly lit, and I could barely see anything further than 5 meters because the rest of the road remained buried in darkness. For every 5 meters that I traveled, the next 5 meters of the road became visible to me and so on. I tried looking further but I became terrified because all I could see was mere darkness, and worst still my car nearly went off the lane when I tried looking at the side/too far ahead because the road was very curvy.

God told me yes this is the way I work in your life. I AM the lamp to your feet and the light to your path. I give you light and that light is sufficient for you to move your next step in your journey. It is step by step and after each step you will see the light ahead of you that brings you to the next step. Trust in ME and the light that's given to you, just like how the reflection on metal plates is sufficient for you to move 5 metres ahead. Try to look too far ahead and you will only see darkness and be terrified. Walk by MY light and you will reach there safely.

Awesome! Finally I really did arrive safely at my friend's place and was welcomed with the warmest love and kindness. I no longer remembered the sorrow that hit me while I was on my way. And I remember going there feeling like a defeated loser and coming back on the SAME highway singing praises to God like a overcoming victor.

It is just like our journey with God. Although life is full of dangers and darkness, yet God gives us light and brings us safely there, step by step. At the end of the journey, God stands like the host of the house and greets us with the warmest love just like what my friends did to me at the doorstep. At that instance, we will no longer remember the pain of the journey.

The road has been dark? Does not matter anymore. God's light is sufficient to help me move on. The road was curvy? Yes, bring it on , it is as exciting and fun as roller coaster.
The future is buried in darkness? Who cares and why care to search intensely something that we cant see? Travel well for the next 5 meters or our 'cars' will go off the lane and crash.
Give up and go backward? Uhuh then we will NEVER reach there.

We will all get there. The Lord stands there waiting for us. Amen.

Have I been well?

No and yes.

Basically in the past few weeks/months I have been stretched by God to the point of breaking (well, it was not like God gave me some tests that He knew I would be failed). So it was not God's problem at all. God has every right to stretch /test every individual and when He does that He actually has enabled that person to overcome it beforehand.

So to cut the veryvery long story short, I did break down in front of God and I did that quite a number of times. God has been gracious to me. I will not share here what I have been going thru, because that is not important at all. My circumstances and challenges are not the centre of my point.

My point is, God is still good. And His goodness is beyond any description. But once you have tasted it, you will never forget. I have tasted it many many times. That is something that keeps me going.

So, my answer to my own question is, No I was not well then. But yes , now I am all good. And ready to strike again. hehe :) stay tuned

this girl

She has been my best fren for 3 years. True enough, we meet different ppl in different stages of life. My best friend in kindergarten was no longer my best friend in primary school; and my best buddy in primary school has become a stranger now...and well, I met wonderful ppl and they came in my life and left when it was time to move on. Therefore I have had many 'best friends' even though they may not be one now. And all of them are irreplaceable.

As for ivy, she is too special. Even as I am typing now I can't hold my tears. I can't imagine how things will be after she leaves. I started to number all the days left since the beginning. I can't bear to think about not having her in my life anymore.

Now I know it sounds as though she was my BOYFRIEND. Not true.

Not even one man would be able to comprehend that love between 2 sisters in Christ.

God is very serious in His business of training me. He never lets me rest and I know that's because He knows I can go thru this by His grace.

One wave comes after another and one is taller than another. All the while Chris and Ivy have been my two most important support in my walk with God, like two strings pulling me on each side so that I stand vertically . I guess after breaking up with Chris, and now 'breaking up' with Ivy, God wants me to be all by myself and Him alone. I feel that I am in serious training now. I know I am living a life like a 'pseudo'-missionary at this stage. What's next? I am not afraid cuz nothing else would scare me anymore. Not even death I guess..

I have nothing left for me. Just You, God. Just You....